I've Never Been too Good With Names; the Cellar Door Was Open, I Could Never Stay Away

Yesterday after Griffin got out of preschool, Darwin wanted to play at the preschool park. This drives Griffin crazy (which, awesome, as I love driving my kids crazy). While Darwin was climbing, sliding and screaming TA-DA, Griffin took it upon himself to settle into a nice patch of dirt.

Random Kid: "Griffin, whatcha doin'?"

Griffin: "I'm making smoke. It's an experiment."

Random Kid: "Cool! I want to help make smoke too!"

Griffin: "Sorry. You can't. It's an experiment. I need a controlled environment."

Random Kid: "I can't help? Why not?"

Griffin: "When you do experiments, your environment needs to be Very Controlled. You can only have one factor being different. Everything else has to stay the same. Since I can't control you, you can't help me with my experiment."

Me: ::blink, blink::

Random Kid: "Oh. Okay."

Griffin: "But we can play Star Wars tomorrow. I get to be Darth Maul."

Random Kid: "Okay! See you tomorrow!"

Obviously, Griffin's watching a wee bit too much of the NASA station to be knowing all this stuff about controlled environments and experiments.

And? Crap. He's going to out-nerd me in no time at the rate he's going.

And it's Friday. Which means time for another Whip it Up...


Something for Aaron. More on that Monday.

I also have another WIP... it's nearly the end of the month. Which, by now, everyone should know what that means.

Bounce Wit it, Drop Wit it, Lean Wit it, Rock Wit it, Snap Wit it, All My Ladies Pop Yo Backs Wit it

In yesterday's comments Janey left a link to an article claiming that a new shot will totally eradicate allergies; she wanted to know my thoughts on it. (Good topic! Good topic!)

The philosophy behind the shot is true... that if you put something into your body to have your immune system fight against, your body will not react to allergies as much because it has something "more important" to fight against. Part of the reason why allergies are on the rise, aside from pollution and global warming, is because we now live in such a clean environment. Two hundred years ago, the human body had more diseases to worry about and less cleaning practices as well. Allergies were pretty nonexistant. Or if someone to Darwin's extent of allergic reaction was born, they died in infancy due to lack of knowledge and inability to protect them from allergens.

However, the article does claim that the shot "contains harmless DNA similar to that found in the TB bug." Personally, I don't think the words "harmless" and "DNA" should be sitting next to each other. That kind of scares me. And what could be considered "harmless" for one person could prove be fatal for another. Considering how DNA can attach itself to your cells, I couldn't image intentionally injecting myself with unknown DNA.

Additionally, I've never heard of a shot that does not contain mercury (shown to increase the chance of autism) and/or egg whites (a very common food allergy, that Darwin is allergic to on the level six, over 100 parts per 100) as the carrier substances for shots.

Would I give my kids the shot? As it is now, no. I'd need a lot more research and I would have to take the shot first. Aside from the wheat/gluten allergy (celiac disease is actually an autoimmune disease), I'm allergic to a few other foods as well -- ginger, bananas and rosehips. I'd take that shot and put myself on the line before I'd ever consider giving it to my kids.

So, the short answer is -- they are on the right track with the philosophy of the shot, but I don't think it's a safe bet. And making broad sweeping statements that it's going to end all allergies and eczema sounds a little too much like a tonic from a few hundred years ago.

Yesterday Aaron went out on a surprise business trip (surprise!). Which, as we all know, means So Much Fun for Laura. Gah. I did take the opportunity to sew a little bit (just a little bit), working on my super-duper secret project (which is taking forever; I'm so very sorry).

And this morning we were provided with free entertainment...


...apparently, that dump truck hit an electrical pole. Seriously.


I love it when people stand in my driveway looking up with binoculars. So very awesome.

We didn't lose power nor did any of my neighbors. But it was very interesting how super-secretive the police were being. They wouldn't tell anyone anything.

So, now I'm scared my house is going to blow up or something. Because that's the kinda shit that happens when Aaron's out of town.

If They Move Too Quick (Oh-Way-Oh) They're Falling Down Like a Domino

In life, you have to make sacrifices...


...like letting your children play with plastic spoons so they leave you alone so you can clean out your pantried food. (Yes, the are dishwasherable [yes, that's a word -- I say so] so it's not like they are a total sacrifice.)

In other words, I didn't get any crafting done yesterday, but now all my cabinets containing food are clean. Clean-clean. Super clean. Ubber clean.


Spices, organized! Sweeteners, organized!

(I purchase all my spices at Penzey's. Due to the FDA's inability to regulate gluten in spices as an anti-caking agent [spice manufacturers do not have to list it as an ingredient] it is very difficult to find gluten-free spices. Penzey's lists all of their ingredients on their spices, including any food starch if they use it [which, in most cases, they do not]. Penzey's is the only spice manufacturer that I have found that lists everything. And? Their spices are totally awesome to boot.)


Cocoa, tea organized!


Lazy Susan, organized!

Pseudo-pantry in the hallway, organized! (Even if it doesn't look like it, which explains the no picture philosophy.)

From all this cleaning out, I filled two paper grocery bags of food for Aaron to take to work to let his coworkers have what they like. Clean cabinets and a lighter load? Awesome.

Of course, the no-crafting-done-yesterday totally resulted in me drinking ouzo. Mmmmmm.... ouzo.

(Obviously, I have reached a certain level of patheticness, for I just blogged about cleaning out my cabinets, and I wasn't even drunk while I did it. Geesh.)

...and in the End We Shall Achieve in Time the Thing They Call Divine, When All the Stars Will Smile for Me, Then All is Well and Well Was All for All

Surely I'm not the only person sick and tired of all my medi-speak. Seriously.

(Seriously. Now that Grey's Anatomy is back on tv, I'm going to be saying seriously all the fucking time. Seriously. Seriously -- it's the new like. Seriously.)

Remember when I use to make stuff? Like sew? Or scrapbook? Or embroider? I miss those days. Don't you? I sure do. Yep. I miss them.

Instead, I spend every waking moment staring at the computer learning about antigen therapy and a whole slew of medical shit that makes my eyes glaze over just thinking about all of it. Or I feel bad and depressed because I realized that today is the one year anniversary of Darwin's eye accident.

So today, I choose to be happy. Or, at least, to put a really fake smile on my face and make believe.

I started with a shower. Yes! Good idea! Wash away all the negativity. Then I took a walk around the garden (note to self: use bottled up aggression to pull weeds. Lots and lots of weeds). Now I'm going to pick up the house (a cluttered house leads to a cluttered mind. AND IS MY MIND EVER CLUTTERED). And hopefully later, lots of creativity.

Creativity or ouzo. One or the other.

You May Be Right, I May Be Crazy; But it Just May Be a Lunatic You're Looking For

I am so very happy that last week is over. Aaron took the boys to the doctor Friday afternoon (while I took a nap to try to get over the miserable head cold) and found out Darwin has ringworms. Nice. Then, my dad called Friday evening to tell me of his medical test results, and supposedly he's suffered "two minor strokes in the past week" and has an enlarged heart. Nice. Then, while sifting through Griffin's backpack Saturday, I found a notice that he's been exposed to pinworms, which unlike ringworms are ACTUALLY WORMS (if you are squeamish, do not click on the video at the bottom of the pinworm link). Nice. And I spent the entire day Saturday moaning about wanting to shove an ice pick into my sinuses into to help the draining. Nice.

Like I said... I am so very happy that last week is over.

Yesterday was much better, as I finally got my mojo back. My cooking mojo, my list making mojo and my breathing mojo (yes, there is such a thing).

Yesterday I actually cooked an inspired dinner and made some gluten-free vanilla-lemon cupcakes with dark chocolate buttercream with Griffin (blogger wouldn't let my post a photo).

This morning the boys and I went to my alternative doctor to discuss Darwin's allergies. I love my doctor. He's brutally honest and awesome. He didn't know the name of the clinics, but he did know the names of the doctors and the type of medicine they practice. So I'll be spending the afternoon googling all this information to try to find the special clinics in Dallas and Chicago to try to take the baby to (he thinks Darwin's missing something in his body or has a genetic defect to have this many allergies).

Okay, I need to go start dinner now (yes, start dinner at two in the afternoon... red beans and rice... yum) and get to googling.

Everybody Look at Me, Me

subtitled: Two Sick Nerds on a Saturday Afternoon

"Hey. We should make our own rice flour."

"That's a retarded idea, Aaron."

"Why?"

"Because it's not economical. The cost to yield a proper amount of flour would be very expensive to start with the whole grain. And we don't have a proper way to mill it uniformly anyway. Besides, I purchase organic brown rice flour anyway."

"Oh. Let's try to puff our own rice then."

"Huh?"

"Let's puff our own rice."

"I don't know how to do that."

"Oh. Me neither."

"I'll look it up!" ::searching on Wikipedia:: "Apparently, you puff grains by putting them under high pressure with seam. When the seal breaks, the grains are puffed. Huh. Oh! Listen to this -- cereals like Rice Krispies and Sugar Pops aren't really puffed grains. They are made out of a batter that is shaped to look like the grain and then baked. No wonder they all have gluten."

"Fucking gluten. It's everywhere."

When a Problem Comes Along, You Must Whip it

I took the boys out the chiropractor's office this morning for Darwin to get his first adjustment...


He was subluxated two inches. That's bad for an adult, and really out of whack for such a small child.


When you're a wee one, this is how you get adjusted. It was very gentle and Darwin loved it. This is now going to be a weekly routine for him (I already go weekly for myself).

For my Work In Progress...


Kicking the shit out of this head cold. Seriously.

Head Cold: "I am a Head Cold! I shall Rule Your World! Mwahahahahahaha!"

Laura: "Look here, motherfucker. You will be vacating my body now."

Head Cold: "No, I won't. I will hang out for at least a week! Yes! At least a week! And I shall dine on your deliciousness and render you pathetic, tired and uncreative! Yes! And then I shall infect your children! And I will become the Supreme Dictator of the Universe! Yes! Awesome."

Laura: "No, you won't. You've chosen the wrong person to deal with."

Head Cold: "But you're just a stay at home mom!"

Laura: "What did you call me cocksucker? 'Just a stay at home mom'? You don't know who the fuck you're really dealing with!"

Head Cold: "Oh, yes I do. And you're allergic to gluten which means no medicines. Mwahahahahaha, I may just make myself at home for a month!"

Laura: "Have you met Emer'gen-C? Prepare to Get Your Ass Kicked Head Cold!"

Head Cold: "Oh no! You'll have me dead in a few days!"

Laura: "That's the plan! Mwhahahahahahahaha!"

Wha? What was that? Me, conversing with a head cold? Um... um... no. Don't know what you're talking about. Not really.

This Living Shouldn't be Called Living, 'Cause it's Really Only Half a Life

Going to Michigan gave us a massive wake up call big swift kick in the ass, making us realize that we've been living in an illusion that Darwin is getting better.

The simple fact is, he's not. He's just getting worse.

Darwin has had health problems since he was in utero. To keep from miscarrying him, I had to take a concoction of hormones; I spent every morning of the entire pregnancy leaning over the kitchen sink and coughing up blood. At 31 weeks, I went into premature labor and was admitted in the hospital. I was released with some scary drugs in my pocket and strict bedrest orders.

When I was induced to deliver him at 39 weeks, his blood pressure stopped. When he was born his apgar score was a miraculous 9.5 despite finding out that his umbilical cord was not properly attached to the placenta (I only found out a few months ago that having a live birth vaginally with that defect is considered a "miracle"). Within two hours of coming into this world, he was admitted into the NICU and we were told he may not make it through the night.

Darwin spent nine days in the NICU and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, nor how it seemed to "fix itself" with time and oxygen.

By the time Darwin was six weeks old, we were fighting with doctors to get him tested for allergies -- he was broken out in a rash from head to toe and very sickly.

At five months, Darwin was admitted into the local children's hospital for the croup. Again, we (or, rather I, as Aaron was out of town) were told he may not make it. Being admitted into the hospital was enough to finally get our foot in the door with allergists and dermatologists.

At six months, Darwin had a basic allergy panel ran. He came up allergic to everything -- cats, dogs, dairy, soy, wheat, corn, peanuts -- 13 things in all. He was started on Zyrtec.

We found our cats new homes. We had the carpets, furniture, blinds and ducts cleaned twice. We got Darwin started on Neocate formula.

We took him to a dermatologist and got him started on Elidel. Within two weeks he developed an allergy. To get him over that he had to take steroids. Then he was started on Protopic.

At 14 months, we sat down with our allergist and outlined all the foods we wanted him tested for -- over 250. He came back allergic to Every Single One.

Food allergies are on a scale from one to six. Six being over 100 parts per 100 and considered vary rare. Darwin is allergic to seven foods on the level six. In order to feed him anything, we have to feed him food that he is allergic to on the level three or lower.

Then, at 15 months old, Darwin had his horrible eye accident and spent five days in the children's hospital again. He was administered enormous amounts of steroids in order to try to save his optical nerve (which is now dead) and third cyatic nerve (which died, but regenerated -- which is why Darwin now how functional movement over his eyelid and eye globe).

A doctor in the hospital asked to run some tests and we whole-heartedly agreed. He found that Darwin had a dangerously low Zinc level and now takes a Zinc suspension every morning.

Over the course of the past year, we have had second and third opinions from allergists and dermatologists. We've tried many creams, ointments and suspensions. If Darwin isn't immediately allergic to them, he develops an allergy in a matter of days.

This is considered "healthy and lookin' good" for Darwin...


... in all reality, that looks neither healthy nor good.

It's time to try something new. We've done everything we can think of. It's time to take a new path.

Alternative medicine has been a blessing for me. I have an alternative doctor that I see regularly in addition to my slew of mainstream doctors. We've taken Darwin to see him once and get some input, but due to Darwin's young age he hasn't ran any tests.

I have an appointment for Darwin to see my doctor on Monday. In a previous visit, he has mentioned a clinic in Chicago we should take him to. I'm going to get information on it. I'm also going to insist that he do any blood work he may deem necessary.

I'm also taking Darwin to see my chiropractor tomorrow to see if his spine is in proper alignment.

There has to be something, something, more we can do that hasn't been done. And I'm going to exhausted every goddamn motherfucking one I can.

Because this is ridiculous.

When We're Together it's Like Hot Coals in a Fire (Hot Baby)

I'm having hard time wrapping my brain around everything that needs to be done. Of course, still not getting a full night of sleep might having something to do with it.

Apparently, both Darwin and I have head colds now. Nice.

I fully intended to allow the children to watch tv this morning (bad Mommy!), but they turned it off before 10 am and wanted to make art.


Crap. I'm turning into one of those good mothers.

I need to go make some lists now. Let the OCD work for good instead of evil.

I Need Caffeine in My Blood Stream, I Take Caffeine in the Blood Stream

::blink, blink::

I'm awake.

::blink::

I swear.

::blink, blink::

No, really. I'm awake.

::blink::

Honest.

Since I have to wash every article of clothing we took to Michigan (damn dogs), I'm dressed like a marshmallow in a sweatshirt that I use for gardening, that I've had since high school. Since everyone's so damn amused by me and my complete ability to humiliate myself, I took a photo. But blogger won't post it. Fucking blogger. So I loaded it to flickr. I have about 250 more photos to sift through and load more to flickr. But I don't think that's happening today. And you don't even want to know how many posts I have to read through bloglines. Yikes.

::blink::

Stop looking at me like that.

::blink, blink::

I'm completely awake.

I've Been Driving All Night, My Hands Are Wet On the Wheel

It's 3 o'something in the morning and what am I doing? Oh, yes. I'm blogging. Because I'm intelligent.

In the last 24 hours I have driven over 900 miles.

This morning we realized what Darwin was allergic to in the carseat -- the armrests were a soft rubbery material, which certainly meant latex. Both boys and I are allergic to latex (of course we are, we're allergic to every other damn substance in the universe).

So, we had the boys temporarily switch seats, using a blanket to prevent Griffin from touching the latex and drove back to Michigan, over 100 miles to leave the allergenic carseat at Aaron's parents' house and pickup Darwin's old carseat. Then I had to drive us home.

My ass hurts. And I'm rather jittery.


Of course, I'm sure that jittery-ness may have something to do with the fact that I've consumed over 100 ounces of vanilla-cinnamon-organic-milk-no-foam lattes in the past 12 hours. Or maybe not.

I Can't Think of a Witty Title When My Life is Crumbling Apart

Remember when I said yesterday we were in a person hell?

Turns out hell has some seriously worse dimensions.

We had planned on leaving Michigan around 5 pm yesterday due to Darwin's allergies. Due to all the crazy "life" things that happened -- the visiting we wanted to fit in, the fact that we were exhausted and wanted to take naps, and the fact that Darwin magically grew out of his carseat and we needed to purchase a new one -- we didn't end up getting on the road until 11 p.m.

Of course by that time, Griffin was asleep and Darwin had entered a comatose-like state due to all the benadryl and zyrtec.

About 70 miles into the drive, Darwin woke up scratching and crying like a seriously sick baby. I drove until the first exit with a gas station and we were shocked that he had broken out into a new rash and his eye was swollen shut. After sitting with him in the car for half an hour and him making it abundantly clear He Was Not Going Back Into That Fucking Car Seat, we had to go across the way and get a hotel room.

I should be home by now.

Instead I have a very sick baby, possibly allergic to the new carseat (yes, it is possible), and over 600 miles to drive home with newly awake children who have itty bitty bladder and need to stop every 45 minutes to "stretch" their legs.

Someone bitch slap me if I mention trying to go to Michigan in the next two years.

Going to Kansas City, Kansas City Here I Come

(They got some crazy little women there, and Aaron went and got him one.)

Being in Michigan has kind of become our own personal hell.

No, not because I have edit what I say in my head five times before I say it due to cursing, tone and facial expressions, but because Darwin is having a massive allergy attack.

And when I say massive, I mean MASSIVE. As in not only is he taking his extremely high dosage of zyrtec, but also Children's Benadryl every four hours and he's still an itching machine.

Part of Darwin's problems is due to being outside so much -- he's allergic to outdoors. Part of the problem is due to how much gluten is in the grandparents' house -- no amount of cleaning would have been sufficient enough to make it gluten-free. And part of his problem is the serious amount of dog fur and dander everywhere.

Olive (not Sizzles)

So we are leaving earlier today than expected -- just by a few hours. Good thing we didn't plan on staying longer, because day three means termination time for us. The children and their allergies cannot handle more than three days in Michigan (we won't discuss my big crying meltdown in the van last night due to not finding adequate food -- oh no, we will not discuss that).

The muffin fairies did not arrive yesterday. Instead, I dreamt horrible muffin nightmares and got up at 5 a.m. to making the fucking muffins.


Mmmm... ::drool::: ...muffins.

I entered the Apple Fest Bake-off 45 minutes before closing time and I was number 23. And I didn't place in the top three. My guess is they were knocked out so much by the wonderful flavor and texture, they drooled too much on their scoring card for the auditors to read.

We spent the afternoon yesterday walking around the Apple Fest, listening to local folk singers and then seeing the Candy Band at Tibbets last night.

Now we're off to visit more grandmas and hopefully got to Mecca Meijer's (it's like Target, for the northern country folk) before getting on the road in six hours.

(More photos uploaded to Flickr!)

She Thinks She Missed the Train to Mars, She's Out Back Counting Stars

After being awake for 27 hours, driving for elevan hours and going at least six miles over the speed limit we arrived safely.


And I promptly went to sleep.

We went to Aaron's grandma's farm today. Hopefully, the magic muffin fairies will visit us in the middle of the night to make the muffins.

More photos at flickr.

(What? You all actually expected me to take a blogging break? Puh-lease.)

I Said to My Reflection, "Let's Get Out of this Place"

Question: How many bags of food does one family of four, three of whom are allergic to wheat, need to take for a four day trip to the middle of nowhere Michigan?

Answer: Seven bags of food, one bag of spices (including salt), a full cooler and high hopes of finding adequate meats and vegetables once we arrive.

Feel the Vibration, C'mon, C'mon, Feel it, Feel it

"Okay, Darwin's turn to pick out the music. What do you want to listen to Darwin?"

"Hard-Fi!"

"Darwin, we don't have Hard-Fi."

"Hard-Fi!"

"Jack Johnson!"

"Griffin, it's Darwin's turn. And Darwin, we don't have Hard-Fi."

"Hard-Fi!"

"How about your Arctic Monkeys? Or your Fall Out Boy?"

"Hard-Fi!"

"Dude, we don't have Hard-Fi."

"Hard-Fi!"

"How about Arctic Monkeys? Or Jack Johnson? Franz Ferdinand? Beth Orton? Ani DiFranco? Deathcab?"

"Jack Johnson, Darwin choose Jack Johnson!"

"HARD-FI!"

"Darwin. We. Do. Not. Have. Hard. Fi."

"Haaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddd-Fffffffffiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"



Um, yeah. Well, we do now.

And you all think I'm an audiophile.

With a Thrill in My Head and a Pill On My Tongue

Um, hi. I'm leaving for Michigan in 36 hours.

Let the FREAKING OUT begin.

Last night I made a batch of apple muffins (stupid fucking apple fest competition) and then crumbled into tears when I ate one. The texture was fine, the flavors were fine, the appearance was fine -- but that was the problem. Everything was just fine.

After doing an hour of apple muffin drive-bys (want a muffin? :whack:: here's your fucking muffin!), I went to the grocery store to get more supplies for more muffins.

Blame it on my OCD.

I have a third batch in the oven. That makes, oh, six dozen muffins I've made in the last 24 hours.

And just so we're all crystal clear in this situation -- if I do enter the muffins in the competition (and really, that's a big fucking if), I seriously doubt I'll win. No, it's not anything against my cooking, but when you eat something gluten-free at the same time you're eating foods with wheat, you notice the slight flavor and texture differences. So no one should have their hopes up of me actually winning the damn thing.

Although, I must say everyone should make apple muffins today -- it makes you home smell awesome.

So... it sounds like Aaron definitely has to go to work for at least part of the day tomorrow. Which means no Laura staying up late and priming the entry room and no Laura sleeping half the day away tomorrow and no Laura getting lots of good rest before driving her family overnight all night.

I think I need to go make another batch of muffins. Yes! Good idea! Drown my denial in the cinnamony goodness. Who needs to do laundry, clean house, wash dishes, pack and make gluten-free food for a trip when there's an apple competition to enter?

Well, She Did and She Does and She'll Do it Again

The plastering is done. Done. Done. Done.


Now the entry room walls match the rest of the house, and I didn't have to rip out the five different kinds of wallboard/paneling in order to do it too.

The next step is to prime the whole room with Kilz (gotta love rusty nail heads and water damage).

However, the next project I need to focus on is the fact that we are going to Michigan Thursday evening, to make up for the 4th of July trip we missed thanks to the Stupid Fucking Foot.

We are scheduled to leave Thursday after dinner and I will drive us all night (750 miles, this should be fun); then we'll leave Sunday after dinner and I will drive us home through the night (another 750 miles, more fun). And, no, we still don't know if Aaron is coming with us or not.

In the case that Aaron does come with us, I hope to stay up super-late Wednesday night and prime the entry room. Then I can sleep half of Thursday away and make the super long drive without too many complications.

Needless to say, my mother-in-law is super excited we are coming up. Aaron's hometown is having the Apple Fest this weekend. Apparently there is a bake-off and my MIL wants to me enter something in it (like I'm going to be able to bake after being up all night long).

But I am quite certain that if my cookbook ever does get published, having a tag line of "Winner of the 2006 Coldwater, Michigan, Apple Fest Bake-off" will certainly make copies fly off the shelves like no one's business.

And Here I Go Again On My Own

People who claim to not enjoy home improvement projects must never have gotten high off the toxic fumes.


I'm fucking determined to get all the plastering done today.

And dude, I'm so high right now.

I'm a Sexy Mama (Mama)

Last night Darwin went with me to the pharmacy to stand in a never-ending line to pick up some prescriptions. Since he decided to be lazy and act like a pretty-pretty-princess, it was decided I had to hold him. Boredom got the better of him and he looked down my shirt.

"Wook! Wook!"

"What do you see Darwin?"

"Boooooooobiiiiiieeeeeesssss!"

Then he decided to swiftly pull my collar down and pop one of my boobs out.

"TAAAAAAAA-DAAAAAAA!!!!"

Because, you know, everyone at the 24-hour Osco needs to know what my boobies look like.

Between him and Griffin's new obsession of taking pictures of my boobs (oh yeah, that kid gets a hold of the digital camera and takes pictures of my boobs. We have a whole collection), I make an excellent case of why not to breastfeed your children.

Just When You Think You've Got a Hold, Just When You Get on a Roll, Oh Here it Goes, Here it Goes, Oh Here it Goes Again

Day three of no television, and Griffin is trying really hard to make a case for it.


"Look Mommy! I can make an 'x' with my fingers!"

"Yes, I see that -- great job Griff! Did you learn that in preschool?"

"No, I learned it from cartoons."

Also, Darwin has figured out how to turn the cable box on. Luckily, he hasn't figured out how to change the channels yet, but let's face it -- it's just a matter of time.

And when he does turn it on, he'll actually sit down and watch the NASA station (that's the default station). I complained about it to Aaron, who's response was, "WOMAN, if my children want to watch the NASA station, YOU BETTER LET THEM."

I've received a few emails and comments about the subject, inquiring as to why I'm doing such a crazy experiment ("HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF GOD, LAURA WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!"). Let me just say that when a four-year old starts contemplating wearing diapers again so he doesn't have to peel his ass off the couch and possibly miss one second cartoons, you've gotta turn that shit off.

I must say, I'm surprised at how life is going without any television (oh, there's a little -- one cartoon while I get breakfast ready and one cartoon before bed, if they have been good). For starters, these children are clingy. Cling-eeee. And my personal goals are getting farther and farther behind, like my secret project. I'm not even a third of the way finished, and considering the project is like sewing calisthenics -- sew a little, iron, sew a little, iron, sew a little, iron -- it's not going to be finished anytime soon.

Meanwhile, I've resumed construction (hey, I consider it construction) on the entry room again...


I finished off my tub a plaster this morning. I think I need to purchase two more.


And I painted over my red test subjects. ::sob:: I already miss the red.

And, as if Aaron and I couldn't get anymore nerdier, we've been doing projects in the evenings instead of watching as much tv too.


Aaron and his pyramids. This phase is really lasting a long time.

Meanwhile, I went digging in my basement trying to find my senior yearbook. Some friends from high school found me and were all, "Why didn't you go to the reunion?" And I was all, "Because I was sick with my celiac disease." (Damn you celiac disease! ::shaking fists in air::)

Anyway, I found my junior yearbook and came across this charmer...


::blink blink::

I tucked my jeans into my socks.

::blink blink::

I Tucked My Jeans Into My Socks.

::blink blink::

I TUCKED MY JEANS INTO MY SOCKS.

See? We wouldn't have done any of this had I not taken away the television privileges.

Who's to Say I Can't Do Everything, But I Can Try

We just got back from the Dermatologist for Darwin another appointment. It was suppose to be a follow-up for the polka-dot rash, but the doctor got a whole new can of worms with the new rash Darwin is sporting. (I would post photos, but I don't want anyone to freak out.)

Poor Darwin -- that's quickly becoming the family motto. Between his chronic food allergies (over 250), his atopic dermatitis, his rare and complicated unknown rashes and his eye accident this kid has faced a lot in his short little life.


At least turning off the tv has made him to decide to start wearing his glasses for entertainment.

Ah Yeah, Straight Out of Nowhereness, Like a Fist, Can't Resist

On Sunday I did a very insane thing.

While visiting Alicia, we came to an agreement... no television during daylight hours (refresh my memory -- that is what we shook on, correct?).

Anyway, I kinda blew it already. I let the boys watch Dora while I made breakfast (the rule should be cartoons can be on until you've got a cup of coffee in your hands). I promptly turned it off when the show was over.

However, Griffin is sitting patiently on the couch, waiting for Mecca to be turned back on.


Sorry buddy. No television.

I would think that this would be my personal hell, but the house is wonderfully quiet, I don't feel like I'm loosing my mind and I'm oddly focused.

Perhaps this won't be a long, torturous month after all.

She Ain't Really Tryin' to Cause a Scene, it Just Comes Natur'lly (No the Girl Can't Help it)

Every weekend should be a three day weekend.


Friday night I went to the Santa-Cali-Gon Days... I really wish I could say I got lots of crafting inspiration. But I can't.

I can say that, apparently, if you paint "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" on anything that you think it's gonna sell. Also? "Babe, I done gotchew a cold beer" is a really popular saying.

Saturday's dinner was awesome. No one had any reaction from the gluten-free lasagna and the German chocolate cake came out pretty well (note to self: you don't have to use all the frosting you make).


The birthday boy.

Yesterday was spent doing yard work.


Ah, the branch...


... the fucking branch.


The fucking branch that has four different molds on it...


... and something that looks like coral.


Gratuitous Darwin shot.

I spent a few hours pulling weeds yesterday, and I really wish I had before and after shots -- but I don't. But I will say I now have a huge empty patch in one of the beds that needs to be filled. I'm thinking new irises and lilies.... but I'm not sure.

And we still have one more day of the weekend left... Aaron's off getting some car maintenance done and I was suppose to pull weeds when he gets home. But considering the massive allergy attack I'm experiencing, I'm hoping to sew the afternoon away...

I love three day weekends.

I Say Don't You Know, You Say You Don't Know, I Say.... TAKE ME OUT

Time to gear up for the weekend, and let me say I AM SO EXCITED. Three days to basically goof off? Awesome.

My parents are coming over tomorrow to celebrate my dad's birthday (his birthday is actually next weekend, but he's playing in a gold tournament out of town). We all use to go out to eat, but with all the food allergies I now make all the meals.

Which, you know, helps out the cookbook process quite a lot.

Anyway, Dad requested Italian (typical). And it's been forever since we've had lasagna -- the main problem is actually finding wheat-free ricotta cheese. Why does it need to made with vinegar?

(Here's where all the celiac know-it-alls leave me comments saying, "If it's distilled, it's gluten-free, a chemist told me so." And then that's when I say, "You forget I also have an authentic wheat allergy, which means I'm allergic to everything made from wheat even if it's distilled.")

Anyway, I did my highly scientific test to see if there was any residual gluten/wheat in the ricotta...


... I'm so scientific. The result? No rash! Let us have lasagna! So I'm gonna go make that here in the next half hour or so.

I'm also making my dad's favorite spinach salad (who knew I could get my dad to eat spinach?) and German chocolate cake for dessert (I even found gluten-free buttermilk for it. Awesome). Let's just hope everything turns out.

The reason why I'm making everything today is because this weekend is Santa-Cali-Gon Days and I'm going tomorrow morning BY MYSELF. I use to go every year when I was a kid, but I haven't been in five years. The last time I went I dragged Aaron with me and he was simply miserable. So I get to go BY MYSELF and look at the tents and tents and tents of crafters. I'm so excited (now, if I just had money to spend...).

Other than that, I've got yard work on the list of things to do. Lots and lots of yard work. Starting with cutting up that branch that fell in the middle of the yard last week, pulling a bunch of weeds and giving Aaron time to mow.

I also hope (because, you know, I already have quite the list going) to work on some of my works in progress...


... another embroidery (I plan on framing them) and...


... the big secret project that I'm not even a fourth of the way through completing. Why does everything take longer than I think it will?

Oh -- and do you what Aaron had the audacity to say to me last night? He complained that the brownies were "too cakey." I may or may not have called him a string of curse words under my breath.