You Will Only Hear These Elegant Crimes, Fall on Your Ears From Criminal Dimes

I'm grounded today (Aaron's stupid car is at the stupid mechanic racking up a stupid-high bill, so Aaron decided to take my stupid van for the stupid day) so I'm trying to catch up on all the stuff I've been needing to do around the house.

Like, make a pie.

Oh yes, I classified that as a need. Hells yeah, I did.

I just took the blind-baked crust out of the oven, now to go make the filling soon...

Other things occupying unusual places on my brain:

Planning Harry Potter Peace Camp at "church." Apparently, my camp name is Professor Cupcake. Oh, lordy.

Helping my friend plan her April '09 wedding.


Pie. Oh, wait. I mentioned that. Okay, pie filling. Because I actually don't like pie. Just the filling.

Putting away clean laundry (seven loads down, two to go).

Balance the checkbook (to pay for the stupid car repairs; stupid, stupid, stupid unplanned for emergencies - I'm sick of 'em).

Planning stuff for San Francisco (like ordering a new camera bag and making [oh my hell] a computer bag) -- hey, who else is going?

Feeling Alive All Over Again

Yesterday at the pool I witnessed a mom (heh, if you want to call her that) tell her daughter she's a "bad, bad girl!" whilst her ipod was plugged into her ears. Then, she switched back to talking with her friend and every few seconds she reiterated to her two year old daughter that she was bad.

That was a turning point.

So what if I feel under pressure and I'm not accomplishing everything I want to accomplish? My kids are happy and healthy. We have food to eat. The house is cleanish. At least I'm not a total shit to my kids.

So, things (beyond not being a shit to my kids) that make me happy:

playing with new friends and running into old friends at the pool

WALL-E fever


homemade chicken salad on freshly-baked gluten-free bread

four- and six-year old boys

puppet shows

crop share pickups

skipping vacuuming in favor of an extra hour at the pool

sunblock

working a job I enjoy

super nice fabric people on the phone

freshly squeezed lemonade

smelling like sunshine

But Like Mike Jagger Said, I Can't Get No Satisfaction

I'm having a hard time coping with life.

There, I said it.

There's never enough hours in a day and never enough caffeine to keep me motivated when I want to be motivated and yet still be able to to sleep a full night's sleep and not be a zombie.


I'm trying to be easy and breezy, but I'm not easy and breezy. I'm more crabby and bitchy. Trying to be easy and breezy just makes me be more crabby and bitchy. The pressure, argh.

So, what does this mean? Fuck if I know. I feel like something needs to give but I have no clue what that would be. I don't want to give everything up (national anthem of today's woman, I swear) but I can't possibly imagine continuing to remotely cope with the pressure I put on myself.

So, where's the line? Where's the point where I decide I'm going to let something go and be okay with that? At what point am I actually going to achieve s l o w i n g down, which I've been working towards achieving for years?

Love, Love Me Do; You Know I Love You

My darling baby boy is four today.


Of course, I'm not allowed to call him my darling baby boy anymore (despite the fact that he is) because he insists he's not a baby.

Which, ::sigh:: I agree - you are not. And that's why I've been bursting in tears all day today. I'm sorry for crying on your birthday.


You're FOUR!

(Yeah, I agree. Holding up four fingers takes quite a bit of concentration. I guess we should have practiced that some more, but I've been in denial.)


You're hella funny, making up jokes (mostly involving poop and butts - we need to work on your jokemaking skills man), keeping everyone in their place and being very particular about things (sorry about passing along the OCD).


You are very excited to be going to preschool in September ("how long till tept-tember mama?") and you are completely obsessed with whales. And elephants. And dinosaurs. And Finding Nemo. And Star Wars. And going to the pool and playing outside and doing all the awesome things that you do.


I love you Darwin. Without you, life wouldn't be complete. Happy Birthday, my sweet Papooshka!

(Sorry for giving you a nickname that means "little penis," it most certainly wasn't intentional).

You’re So Sad Maybe You Should Buy a Happy Meal

There's this aspect of parenting that no one tells you about.


It's the part where you kid acts like a total dumbass and it feels like everything you have taught him didn't really sink in. And you feel like a total failure.

Of course, there's other things people don't tell you, like how hella funny kids are, but it's hard to focus on that when your kid is throwing sand ten feet in the air and then acts like he doesn't speak English when you tell him to stop. Every year. For six years in a row.

Okay, maybe it's a little funny. But parenting is damn infuriating sometimes.

The Silicon Chip Inside Her Head Gets Switched to Overload

Griffin's academics this summer are kicking my ass.


Is anyone doing "extra" work over the summer? Why does it take him over an hour to copy ten words five times? Why isn't he reading yet? Why does guess at words and not sound them out?
Why doesn't he want to go live with gypsies? Why are chocolate chip cookies so fucking awesome? Why is it 80 degrees outside and yet seem hot enough to go swimming? Why's my house so dark in summer and so awesomely full of light in the winter? Why is my basement still a mess? Why doesn't Kansas City have an 80's radio station anymore? Why do I have itty-bitty little swimming creatures in the frog bit and pond water I got at the park and what are they called? Why I am procrastinating at making dinner? Why do my children insist on wrestling even after the continuously hurt each other?

You Got Me Beggin' You for Mercy

Aaron began Father's Day with a nice visit from the local fire department.

Yeah.

You see, he likes to illegally burn yard waste. And he has this horrible habit of burning really smoke-y, disgustingly stinky stuff and quite honestly, I'm surprised he got away with it for over a year.

Okay, maybe in his defense he fully didn't know he couldn't burn yard stuff, but I TOLD HIM SO AND HE DIDN'T LISTEN. Men. Gah.


In any case, our fireplace thing-y (which is totally ghetto and I've hated all along) has got to go. The fire department said so.

Oh, darn.

Whats it Gonna Take to Make a Dream Survive?

There's nothing like getting something completed right under the wire.


For the local challenge: this week's meal was last night's dinner. (Um, got that? I'm not sure I have enough apostrophes in there.)

In olive oil, I sauteed onions, zucchini, cauliflower and green beans with salt, pepper and Tandoori Seasoning. Then, I added some leftover sausage and lo, dinner was complete.

The onions, zucchini, cauliflower, green beans and sausage were all from my CSA. And all the other ingredients are from the list of things we're allowed to use.

Dinner was super-yummy, although I will say I ate it vegetarian style (Aaron ate the plate above). Something is making me sick (and only me) and we're having problems figuring out what it is. Initially, I thought the sausage wasn't gluten-free (our farmer says it is, but it could have gotten contaminated), but I'm the only one getting sick. Then I thought it might be the zucchini (I can't eat melons and apparently squash are very related) and that's still a possibility. Then Aaron thought the sausage might have been treated with antibiotics and that would explain why I'm sick and no one else. So, hi. Laura's not eating lately. But last night's spicy veggies were yummy and yes, that's all I ate for dinner.

Whew.

Also: food allergies suck ass.

When the World is Running Down You Make the Best of What's Still Around

Stuff we've been up to this week....

baby blanket making (one down, two to go; Aaron's cousins are prolific breeders this summer)

crop share cleaning (the best way to clean those greens: soak in water with a little splash of vinegar - since white vinegar is made from wheat, I use either white wine vinegar or rice vinegar - the vinegar [God damn, how many times do I have to spell "vinegar"?] makes the bugs fully release the leaves)

storm watching (Kansas is becoming more like Hawaii with this everyday rain, only we don't have the rad surfing)

lego playing (of course)

waiting for the venus flytrap flower to open

Also, not pictured: spending the whole day in just Star Wars underpants (the little boys, not me), me having an allergic reaction to food (not sure which one but lo, it's not fun) and trying new recipes (zucchini bread + hit of lemon = yum).

Cruel to be Kind Means That I Love You

Aaron asked me to not write about what we did last night.

So... let me just say I got to dress all fancy (no jeans! no stained shirts with holes! that's fancy!), my parents watched the boys, we were out of the house for two and a half hours, we wore name tags, cameras are not allowed in the building and he got face to face with people he's been stalking.

Oh come on, you can totally figure it out!

And please note: in no way in hell did I allow that fucking stupid "obey thy husband" shit in our wedding vows. Hells no.

Your Lips a Magic World

"Mom? What did you say these were called again?"

"Buttermilk spice muffins, Griff."


"Why 'spice'? They aren't spicy. You can't call them spice muffins."

"I can't?"

"Nope."

"Well, what am I suppose to call them?"

"Um.... YUMMY MUFFINS!"

"Can't they be yummy spice muffins?"

"Mo-om, no, they cannot."

Like Double-Oh-Seven We Can Keep it Covert

I have decided I am the most un-interesting person right now.

Don't shake your head at me, I'm serious. (And if you agreed, thanks, I appreciate that.)

My summer is now consisting of swimming, gardening, working and helping Griffin with academics. This leaves very little time for sewing, crafting and scrapbooking.

Which, yeah. I haven't scrapbooked since August? Yeah, August, I think. I don't even want to think about how far behind I'm slacking. Yikes.

And don't even ask how much time it leaves for cleaning a house. Because it doesn't.

See? Totally un-interesting.


And even Little Bunny Foo-Foo is un-interesting. No picking up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head.

Ideals You Used to Play With

My children played with a slug for over an hour today.


Dude. A slug.


Of course, they were suppose to be picking up leaves (hello, new flat of flowers planted!) but they kept insisting, "No, mommy! We're having fun playing with the slug!"

Alrighty, then.

And since you all seem to know everything about everything...


What kind of tree is this? Normally, the flowers are more white and full. Any ideas?

Is it a Destiny, a Destiny, or is it Just a Game in My Mind

A couple of weeks I decided it'd be a super idea to join the One Local Challenge.

Now, I don't know what possessed me to do this as I'm total and complete loser when it comes to such things (yeah, hi, I still owe my holiday swap partner her December package). But hey! We're getting our crop share this year and I guess I figured what the hell so here we go, the first challenge of the summer.

Oh, wait. So the challenge (why, oh why do I keep spelling challenge c-h-a-l-l-a-n-g-e?) is that I have to make one meal a week using all local ingredients (except for oil, salt, pepper and spices).

Today, my lunch is my local meal...


Strawberries and eggs with baby onions and asparagus.

The strawberries, eggs, baby onions, asparagus and milk (for the eggs) are all part of my CSA, which is in Milo, Missouri (90 miles away). The butter to cook the eggs in are from Shatto, which is in Osborn, Missouri (75 miles away). And that's it, well beside the fact I love me some salt and pepper.

And for anyone who's wondering, last night was our third pickup for our CSA. We got strawberries, zucchini (which they called a "summer squash"), broccoli, more spring onions (we're drowning in them), lots of lettuces, radishes, asparagus and beets. I also added in the eggs, unpasteurized milk and ham steaks.

I need a good zucchini bread recipe and a good beet recipe. Got any?

(I Just Freeze) I Just Freeze Every Time You See Through Me

Ya'll. Summer is kicking my ass. Kicking my ass. And we're only one week into it. Oy.

We're getting ready to go to the pool now. Which will be great, totally great. Great, great, great, I'm trying to tell myself. I just hope my husband picks up on that chant when he sees the house. Because, you know, dishes and laundry everywhere is not nearly as bad and wound-up children. Great. Super. Super-great. Just great.

Oh God, I'm so pathetic.