Thursday, August 24, 2006

Our House, in the Middle of Our Street

Or, How Being a Home Owner Totally Sucks Ass

It's a fact: when Aaron goes out of town, everything goes to shit.

Our dishwasher sounds like its going through a very slow, painful death.

Yes, our dishwasher that is less than a year old, that we spent charged an ungodly amount of money on so it would sanitize (allergies are fun) everything, is trying to die. It is so loud, it can wake the children up at 2 am despite the fact that their bedroom is upstairs, on the other end of the house, with their door closed and they sleep like the dead.

Then, last night...


... a four year old dead branch fell in the middle of the yard (thanks for that, Ice Storm of January 2002. Thanks for the lack of power for six days and dead branches we can't afford to get cut off). The least the branch could have done was fall on the dilapidated greenhouse. But no, we had to fall smack in the middle of the yard. Aaron's gonna have fun cleaning that up when he gets back in town.

Then this morning I found a dead blackbird in my flower bed. This is the fourth dead bird we've found in our yard this month. WTF? Go die somewhere else.

And to top it all off, I "accidentally" left Harold & Kumar on the tv last night. Apparently Griffin watched some of it, and keeps complaining that we don't have two toilets next to each other so "we can play Battle Shits together."

16 comments:

kristi said...

I'll make sure my kids never see that one. I already hear much more than I need to about butts and the things they do. Are girls this preoccupied with natural functions? I know I wasn't.

Alicia A. said...

Isn't the dishwasher still under warranty? oh, I hope so!

Ali said...

And I thought 'Daddy lets have a peeing race' in front of my mother-in-law was bad!

Amy said...

Hmmm. What to say. Yikes? I loved that movie.

lera said...

oh my!!!! everything bad always happens when the men are away. (I'm keeping my fingers crossed because Joe is away, too!)

LLA said...

Ugh. Gloom, dispair and agony at your house...
You need to being dancing around the house singing some Prozzäk... Couldn't hurt, could it???

At least Aaron's home again on Saturday, right?

H&K is HI-larious, but I can totally see why you might not want the boys watching it...

Do you need to tell someone about the dead bird epidemic? LIke call the CDC or something (or whatever the Kansas equivalent is??)

Angela said...

What is with the dead birds? That would weird me out. I think I might call someone about that.
Sorry 'bout the dishwasher and branch. WE have BAD luck with appliances also..and dead branches from Hurricane Isabelle in 2003. They are still falling from our trees. Nice.

estea said...

yikes, we find dead birds too. seems like last year i looked up something in a fit of west nile worry, and they said they would only pick up blue jays or something like that. joco extension office might know.

boys. ya gotta love'em.

kirsty said...

H and K? Uh oh! You're going to Hell for that one!! ;)

Kim said...

While I must admit hoping that you buried this next bird as sweetly and ceremoniously as you did the Solstice bird, I am also wondering about the oracle that sends you dead blackbirds while husband is away.
The ol' rhyme goes, "While the cat's away, the mice will play." Well, if Aaron is the cat, perhaps the dead birds are his way of saying don't be playin'.
Do you still think I overthink things?

And Kristi: Kip is very much into "natural functions." She rubs her girly bits and giggles. And seems overly fond of "boobies."

Dawn said...

If the birds are just keeling over I'd contact your local public health office about that since there is a correlation with West Nile.

Besides that how are you? ;)~

bessilu said...

Aren't dead birds good luck? Or is that just when they poop on you? Just going for the bright side!

amy h said...

Maybe your dishwasher is off balance or something! I hope it is still under warantee.

Yeah, I'd wonder about the West Nile thing, too -- that's a lot of dead birds!

That ice storm was so lovely. We have spent a crazy amount of money on tree maintenance since then (had to -- we had branches coming through the roof).

Apron Thrift Girl said...

Sending cyber hugs your way. Our only issue this time with dh gone was a blocked toilet but I can't think of a more unpleasant thing to have to do. It's not like I can ignore it for a week until he gets home. I hope Aaron comes home quickly and life can feel normal again. Dh just arrived home and I can sigh in relief.

jojo* said...

Doesn't that just figure??? My car always seems to break down on me when my hubby's out of town. I feel for ya!

Cathy said...

I hope the dishwasher is still under warranty. My last one killed itself after the warranty conveniently, it is still sitting in the cabinet space mocking me.

Maybe you can set up a couple of training potties next to each other so your wonderkind can have a try at outstinking everyone!