Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Whole Foods, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

Whole Foods, you know I am in your store every Tuesday and Thursday mornings like clockwork. I expect someone to be at the coffee bar with minty mocha in hand. Especially on a day, such as today, when I got Griffin to preschool late, dressed Darwin in Griffin's clothes with no socks and no coat, after laying in bed until 2 am waiting for the Ouzo buzz to wear off already.

I waited there for over five minutes. Obviously, you have no concept of what Five Mommy Minutes are like. In five minutes, I can unload and load the dishwasher, wipe down all the counters and the table. I can also take out the trash and swifter the kitchen and breakfast room. In five minutes, I can run downstairs and start the 16th rinse cycle of the towels; I can also check e-mail, read three blogs and monitor how soapy the laundry still is.

You know I am completely whipped by you. You realize that you are the only shop in town that can make me a mocha with some sort of mint product in it, and it is all gluten-free. And, obviously, you realize that no matter how much you abuse me, I'll be back in your store in two days like a wounded lover wanting to purchase groceries and a minty mocha. You're becoming my abusive boyfriend.

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