Sunday, February 12, 2006


So, after taking the depressed cookie cake out of the oven...

:: sobbing ::

"Why are you crying?"

:: sobbing ::

"Do you even know why you're crying?"

:: sob :: "Because I'm a failure. A faaaaaaiiiiiillllllluuuuuurrrreeee..."

"Why are you a failure?"

:: sob :: :: gasp :: :: sob :: "Because the cookie cake," :: sob :: "Is ruined. Rrrrruuuuuiiiiinnnneeeddd." :: sob ::

"You're crying because the gluten-free cookie cake is ruined?" Takes a bite. "Actually, that's pretty damn good."

:: sobbing :: "No, its not. Its not good enough..."


"I cook. That's what I do. You've been yelling at me for, " :: sob :: "Months to write a cookbook and," :: sob :: "I can't even make a fucking cookie cake. How in the hell am I going to tell people how to cook if I can't even make a cookie cake?"

"Laura, you know for a fact that gluten-free baking is hard. Its difficult. Why do you think you haven't been successful yet? You're not a failure. The only thing you're failing at is expecting yourself to do something no one has done yet."

:: sobbing :: "There's no room for mediocrity. You know I'm an overachiever. I use to be a master baker, now I'm, " :: sob :: "A failure."

And on, and so forth, for about another 45 minutes, until I decide I'm going to kick gluten-free baking's ass and put that bitch in her place, and run to Whole Foods (oh gawd, Whole Foods? I hate you on the weekends. Hate.) and buy a whole bunch of ingredients, determined that I, by myself, will concoct a SUPER gluten-free baking mix all On My Own, Thank You Very Much. And I came home, made dinner and self-medicated myself by watching Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy because all that emotion? Is totally exhausting.

As for the other psycho-maniac?

Griffin had a complete mental meltdown when Aaron told him he couldn't grow a beard yet.

Honestly, I have no idea where my children get their dramatics from.


Kim said...

Love Aaron's beard- that's new (to me.)
Everything you've made, that I've tasted, has been great.
DH and GA... MADE my evening last night, too. Dr. Burke is dreamy, and the one, too fast shot where George jumped in the bed behind Dr. Bailey, to help her, was some of the best TV I've seen.
Rather confused as to how her husband lived, after flat-lining, but glad they ended it that way. It's the only outcome I cared about, the Bailey Baby and Daddy making it.
Signing off, embarrassed to be talking so much TV!

colorfool said...

You poor woman. You will succeed. Keep on tryin'. 8-)