Monday, January 30, 2006

Debunking the Blogger's Mantra

Why is it, when I asked a blogger a question the person nearly immediately replied with "You don't know me," complete with finger snaps and head roll?

Why do people choose to blog, choose what to write about and still get offended when someone asks a question? If they don't want random readers, shouldn't they password protect their website? If they don't want comments, shouldn't they not allow them?

I've noticed as I read more blogs and back posts, this has become an epidemic.

For instance, I have been reading a person's blog for quite awhile. She is not at all like me -- Republican, seriously Christian and young. She has planned her wedding, picked her date (in less than two years from now), chosen her engagement ring and yet, even admitted she's never been on a date. Her blog drips with the notion and importance of getting married, right down to quotes of Victorian-era poems describing how important it is to be a wife.

So two weeks ago, she had another post with a link to an article (that "everyone needs to read") -- with the topic being about dating and marriage, and how guys lead girls on. I couldn't take it anymore - I had to ask why she appeared to be so obsessed about marriage. I didn't mean to be rude; I just wanted to know, I wanted to understand.

Her first reply was a no-answer; her second reply was "I'm not interested in getting married" and "this is a small aspect of who I am". Pppppppppfffffffftttttt.

So, not only do I now not understand why she entranced with the notion of getting married, she's pulled out the Blogger's Mantra.

I can't - and won't try to - change her mind about helping me understand. But I can tell you, that as a reader of no appropriate behavior, as long as you ask me a question without being an ass about it I'll try to answer any questions you may have.

Except what's my last name. That's the only one I will not answer (turns out Aaron is a very paranoid person).


Marshamlow said...

I didn't get married until I was 31, and my perception of marriage is totally different now than it was before.

I am 36, living here in Japan most of the other mothers of 2 year olds are in their early 20s or younger. So many of my friends are quite a bit younger than me. I have had to learn the hard way to keep my mouth shut. Whenever my new friends were complaining about things that I have experienced and feel I can give good advice to help them out, they get very offended and never speak to me again. Turns out most young people don't really want advice, they think that means that I think I am better than them. Whatever.

In real life or blogs some people are just not interested in any view other than their own. They want people to agree with them or to shut up. Coincidentally, living in Japan with a bunch of other Americans it is funny to see how many Americans get really flustered by the fact that the Japanese don't do things the same way we do.

Anonymous said...

I think the previous comment is very perceptive ... there are a lot of people who are too insecure to face any kind of questioning at all. But the thing is, the internet isn't the place for that kind of attitude. It's unrealistic to start a blog and then get bent out of shape when someone questions you or asks for just a little more information.

So I'm glad you are willing to answer questions. If only I weren't too lame to think of a good question to ask now...

laura capello said...

Rockstar Mommy -- I totally agree with what you said; like I said in my post I was asking why she was so concerned about marriage. I didn't say she was wrong, I just was wondering why. She talks about it so much and give no back story.

And I agree that people should be jumping bloggers' shit; if you are genuinely intreguied and want to know more, ask away. Otherwise, let people live their lives.

I've been reading your site and Amalah's for awhile, and I have seen what trolls do to both of you. The last thing I want is trolls on my site, nor do I want to remotely act like a troll on another person's site.

And for everyone's reference, the site that caused the post was The debate happened on January 19th; but I referenced multiple posts on her site, including when she talked about her wedding (October 27th).