Earlier today, my cousin Sarah e-mailed me and asked me to edit her paper due tomorrow. But goshdarntiddlywinks! It just wouldn't attach.
Later this afternoon I called and offered to come over and edit it in person. My aunt was very excited and said I could come over anytime and we could go up to the computer.
You see, I'm an editing whore. After all, I have a Bachelor's of Science in Journalism with an emphasis in Advertising from the William Allen White School of Journalism and Mass Communications at the University of Kansas. I spent, rather debted myself, thirty grand for that damn degree. You better believe I'm gonna throw those words around as much and as often as I can.
After the kids were nearly ready for Aaron to take them to bed, I went over to my aunt's home, and cousin handed me her paper and a blue pen.
"Uh, Sarah? I need a pen."
"You have a pen."
"Yes, I see that. But it's blue."
"Oh, you want a red pen?"
"Of course, I want a red pen. How dare you think I would want anything other than a red pen."
And the moment that pen touch my hand the angels sang and the world was good.
And I was drunk with power.
Misplaced coma! Missing apostrophe! Verbs and nouns not agreeing! Quotes not punctuated correctly! Improper documentation! Paragraphs not in proper order! Add a semicolon!
Oh, internet. The joy. The joy.