May Your Days be Merry and Bright

Now You Know, You Got My Back Against the Wall

My dishwasher broke.

Again.

An hour after Aaron left on his business trip, it flooded my kitchen. And I mean, it flooded my kitchen.

So I've been doing dishes by hand, which is incredibly difficult considering I eat dairy, the kids are allergic to it, and to eradicate the proteins the water has to be ridiculously hot. Of course, it's never hot enough, so I've crossed my fingers and hope for the best.


Double-hoping the dishwasher repair person gets here soon considering someone should have been here two hours ago.

Sigh.

While we're complaining, my tire is flat and requires constant moderation. The cable box is on the fritz, which wouldn't be a big deal except it causes my boys to whine and I don't handle that well. And I can't seem to be warm in the van - I'm in total denial about potentially needing to have the heater fixed. Goodness.

On the upside, my holiday shopping is nearly complete so now I can focus on wrapping and baking.

Well, baking as soon as the dishwasher is fixed.

Edited to add: Well, nevermind about that holiday baking. They are ordering a new part - a new basin, because ours has a hole in it - and the soonest the dishwasher will be fixed is a week from today. Kenmore hates me.

Additional side note: And the hole isn't anywhere logical, it was a weak part that just wore away. Who else could this possibly happen to other than me? And at a time like this? Geesh.

Me and You, Tell Me What We're Gonna Do

So, really, it should come as no surprise to anyone that not only have I not posted pictures from the Lego calendars, but we're even behind on opening the Legos. Right? Right.

Because if there's anyone in this world who wishes for time to stay still, who digs her heels deep into the earth and screams stop, it's me. Right? Right.

And yes, we have a tree up - but only thanks to Aaron, who fandangled the whole operation without a massive Airing of the Grievances (small wonders never cease) but any additional completion has been halted by a bickering of Who Hangs Lights Better And I Do Believe It's You.

Which causes me to think, you know what sounds good right now? A cake. I'm going to ignore this whole business and make a cake. And honey? Go buy me a larger size pants while you're out, mkay?

So, yes. Broken record: I am behind. Woe is me. Boo hoo.

But! I am trying. I want my two-sizes-too-small heart to grow. So in the boys' room...


Squee! Wee felted lights! The holidays are migrating beyond the living room!

(And no, sadly, I did not make these myself, I purchased them from Cakies.)

(Because if I don't make something myself, it's better to support other crafty mamas. Right? Right.)

So now I have two boys whom I've promised lights on the tree tonight, pinky swear and I mustn't fail.

Goddamn Those Ideas in Your Head

This morning I woke up crying. Big snot-filled hiccup-y crying with the need to curl up with Aaron.

Because I had a bad dream. A nightmare, actually.

Aaron and I were talking, he was working on a toilet in a room I didn't recognize. We were laughing and getting along and he was talking about how awesome his new girlfriend is.

And me, with my constant strive to be a Grown Up, stated things sounds like they are going so well, they may do the deed soon.

To which he replied, "Oh, we already did. And it was awesome."

Fuck my life.

Just then, his girlfriend called us downstairs (we were in her house, apparently) because she wanted me to help her and her family come up with their Black Friday shopping game-plan.

I oppose Black Friday. I never shop on Black Friday. Unless it's to get a latte.

So she sat me down and wanted to make a list of what they needed to get. And to correlate it to the store's map.

Then, when I was done with said list, she wanted me to decorate it with glitter glue and stickers. Because it needed to be "pretty" she said.

All day I've been upset at the sheer notion that Aaron and I would somehow be divorced and he would be dating someone else. But the fact that happened in my dream and he was dating a chick who shopped on Black Friday and decorated lists with glitter glue and stickers is just beyond comprehensible.

I mean, what the fuck was he thinking? Dating a girl who shops on Black Friday and decorates lists with glitter glue. He must be out of his goddamn mind.

Didn't I Blow Your Mind This Time, Didn't I?

Thanksgiving was fabulous.

gluten-free cheesecake with chocolate glaze & sour raspberry sauce
and the best gluten-free pumpkin pie ever

Kylie waiting for the family walk

family games

I'm certainly having problems accepting it's nearly December. What do you mean I should put my tree up? I've been chastising neighbors and friends for hanging lights and decorating and now I'm expected to participate in that behavior?

Screw that.

Oh wait, I have small kids. Nevermind.

Dammit.

At least there's one thing I'm totally looking forward to (and if you're extremely crafty, please overt your eyes), our Lego Advent Calendar.


Squee!

But wait! There's more!

Because I'm fanatical (and batshit crazy), I found another set (like last year) that's not available in the States. Unfortunately, calling Lego and promising someone a blow job didn't get me the set (don't you look at me like that, I said I was fanatical) so I made multiple calls and begged and pleaded and then we received a package from our friend in Germany.


Oh, yes he did. He sent us the Pirate Advent Calendar.

Score!

I'm hoping to enlist Griffin's and Darwin's imaginations in the story telling this year. So please do brush up on your Star Wars, Pokemon, Bionicle and Bakugan references. You're gonna need 'em.

You Must Use the Force

Ohai. I can haz blog, yes?

Despite my silence, or rather - because of it, I'm mentally prepared for Thanksgiving.

Please note I said mentally prepared not physically prepared. Walk into my home right now and you'd trip over eight loads of laundry. But damn, I am ready to eat me some turkey.

Every year I prepare all the holiday meals. Thanks food allergies! I get to OCD the hell out of the what we eat!

All kidding aside, I do love me some cooking so it's actually a treat for me to cook this much. I know, either I should share these drugs or the prescriptions not quite right - correct?

In any case, my parents are bringing cranberry stuff. Yes, cranberry stuff. Just cranberry stuff.

Whereas I am making veggies with dip, the turkey, gluten-free dairy-free dressing, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, spinach salad and corn. My dad would through a hissy fit without the corn.

For dessert, gluten-free (ha! oh please, IT'S ALL GLUTEN-FREE) pumpkin pie, cheese cake and chocolate chip cookes.

So, yes. I've mapped it out. I've completed two rounds of grocery shopping (hopefully only one more to go!) (don't look at me like that, I said "hopefully") (are you trying to tell me you don't have to go to three different stores to get your food?) and start tonight. Yes, tonight.

So, if any of you want to come over and vacuum and mop and put my laundry away I'd greatly appreciate it.

Alternate post title: Kiss a Wookie, Kick a Droid, Fly the Fuck On Through an Asteroid

Guess how many of my family members have this song memorized?

Stop, it's too Late, I'm Feeling Frustrated

This weekend Darwin asked me what super power I wanted.

I want to freeze time.

You want to freeze time?

Yes, I want to freeze time. I want to pause everything and clean the house. Or scrapbook. Or nap.

Where'd you get an idea like that, Mom?

From an '80's sitcom. Duh.

Doncha wanna be ElastiGirl instead Mom?

Well, although I appreciate her awesomeness, I'd rather stop time.

And it's true, time is just flyin' by. I know people say this all time, but it's true. And I'm struggling to keep up. I want to keep up, but I'm not.

I want lots and lots of things. Clean house. And organized house. Handmade things. A finished quilt (cough, cough, nudge, nudge). Time to play family games.

And it's a tired, broken record. And I'm trying - really I am. I'm not nearly as down as I'm certain the post sounds. But it would be damn nice for my fingers to realize it's November and stop typing October all over the place.


And if I could give Aaron a superpower it would be to grow an un-scratchy beard. And not having hoarding issues. And get shit done lightening fast.

Yes, in that order.

I Like to Take Each Step One-by-One

The trees have decided to be massive bitches and release all their leaves.

Yes, trees are female. Or, at least, mine are. Because "bitches" sounds better than "bastards," that why.

We're making the most of autumn, but we have our air conditioner running (the hell, right?) and the sun has been shining so it feels more like Summer v2.1 than autumn -- I'm certain we'll get an ice storm soon, so Kansas can show us who's boss and all that jazz.


But for now, we're chasing bunnies and rolling in leaves.

If You'll be My BodyGuard, I Can be Your Long Lost Pal

A quick stop to the thrift store looking for a replacement lid to my favorite casserole dish (broke months ago and I still cannot find a replacement, sniff) turned into rummaging through the children's books.


Which resulted in a huge bag of books for five dollars - way less than one book at the book store would have cost.

And look! Quiet children! 'Tis a miracle!

Cherry Ice Cream Smile

It's too early for me to be PMS'ing but there you go - I'm pissy. Pissy mckpisserson and I'm not quite sure why but I am.

I'm feeling a bit like this...


And a good bit like this...


With some of this kicked in for extra flavor: