Sunday, July 02, 2006

Like a True Nature's Child, We Were Born, Born to be Wild

Bloody hell, my foot hurts.

No, we did not go to Michigan. And believe me, I would much rather spend six weeks with the in-laws over six weeks in a cast. Yes, it hurts that much.

It is so bad, in fact, Aaron wants to drag me to the doctor again tomorrow.

We've been doing lots of online research about the Jones Fracture. I asked Aaron if he recalled which bone I broke, not telling him which one I thought I broke, and he agreed with my theory: I broke my fourth metatarsal, not my fifth (which is the Jones Fracture). Plus, I'm having a lot more pain and problems than the websites claim I should be having, which results in one of three things:

1. People lie about how much this hurts, lying fuckers
2. I'm a Big Fat Whiny Butt with a Very Low Pain Threshold and Thus a Big Wussy Baby
3. Something else is wrong

I'm really hoping for option number one.

In addition to General Uncomfortableness and Broken Foot Pain and coping with The Cast That Weighs 12,000 pounds, I'm having muscle spasms up and down my leg and in my foot, my foot is swollen around my ankle despite the fact it is constantly elevated, and my toes turn purple if they are not elevated above my heart for less than three seconds.

I would so rather be in Michigan right now.

Of course, due to all of these wonderful additions, Aaron has taken it upon himself to keep me Very Medicated. If I so much as so a hint of being crabby, he shoves a Lortab down my throat. Crabby and Bitchy? A Lortab and Flexril.

Come to think of it, I think he's medicating me more for his benefit than mine.

In any case, I'm rather lucky that the accident did happen in summer: I don't have to worry about shuffling Griffin to preschool and my cousin Sarah is out on summer break and she can come over and help me because my aunt forces her to as much as I want. My step-mom, Kathy, is also out on summer break (she's a college professor) and she can help out a lot too.

Anyway, new subject!

I've noticed people have been leaving me questions in my comments section, and I've been doing a piss-poor job at answering them. Since I'm a complete dumbass and can't figure out how to access people's email addresses through blogger, feel free to e-mail me (available through my "about" page and here: if I don't answer in a timely manner. If I haven't answered your question here, please ask again. As I've stated before, I'm a dumbass.

lla asked where I got the "cool baking cups" from Darwin's birthday party. I purchased them at Party America, a local party supply store. They are called "candy and nut cups" and come in approximately mini-muffin size and full size. The coolest part about them is you don't need to use any muffin pans, just load them all on a cookie sheet. The not-so-cool part is that, since they are so sturdy, they are a complete pain in the ass to unravel when you decide to eat a cupcake. The next time I make them, I'm gonna snip one side with scissors to see if it makes them easier to remove without having batter pour out during baking.

Angela asked if we were going to change the purpose of the entry room. Once it is done being painted ( ::looking at foot:: which will now take a while), we are going to move the wardrobe back in there (we use it as a coat closet, since we do not have one). Then I hope to get a dresser out of Aaron's cave and paint it white (it is waist high) and put it where the brown table is now. Above it I'm going to hang a ridiculously expensive mirror I bought at Pottery Barn five years ago and never took out of the box and hang family photos around it. Then I want to make a storage bench so we have a comfy place to put shoes on and off.

Meredith asked me where I got the recipe for the gluten-free coconut madeleines. I'm writing a cookbook and converted a recipe to gluten-free. The madeleines are cookbook ready, the banana bread is not ready yet.

Lera asked what traveling bags are, and if she needed some. I would say if you are taking the kids on a big road trip this summer, the answer is most definitely yes! you need some! I was making each boy a bag big enough to fit in a couple of books, crayons, paper and little trinkets to keep them occupied on the 750 mile road trip to Michigan. I'll resume making the bags when I can get down to the basement for when ever our trip gets rescheduled.

Samantha asked how I got home from my big fall at the park. Well, I'm rather lucky, I hurt my left foot and I only need my right foot to drive since I now have an automatic. I would have had to call someone if the situation was different.

Kristi asked how my little monsters adorable children are handling the situation. Well, Griffin has smacked it "accidentally" three times and keeps putting the boo-boo bunny (a little bunny with an ice center) on it. Darwin likes to use it for choo-choo train track. They both kind of seem to enjoy me being around them all the time instead of rushing around the house doing chores.

asked if my crutches are wood or metal. They are metal. And I'd love to see what you did with your wood ones!

Joni-mi mentioned that I needed to learn how to use the crutches. She is totally correct. My armpits were hurtin' really bad and my aunt told me that I had to lift my body with my hands and do this ape-like swinging thing. It is helping, and I had better have the best-sculpted shoulders and arms after six weeks.

Green Kitchen
asked about my karma. I don't know what is up with my karma. But I am learning lots and lots of lessons from it. LOTS AND LOTS OF LESSONS. Do you hear me Universe?! I'm learning a lot of lessons!

I have received lots of comments over the past few months about how I make people laugh and how I make people feel better about their lives by reading about mine. Not only does this not bother me at all, it makes me really happy.

Knowing that I've brightened someone's day, even if it comes from telling them how awful mine is, is awesome.


Anonymous said...

i feel so bad laughing when you're in pain - but it's the way you tell 'em :) surely someone could be delivering a nice pimms, or gin & tonic too?! - it is summer afterall...

Anonymous said...

Good karma HAS to be on the way soon. It's just got to be.

I just noticed how nicely the little monsters are sitting calmly at the table in the cast picture. Did you slip them a Lortab too? Oooo... there's an idea. :)

I'll call Thursday. We'll be back then.

Kim -today's creative blog said...

OMG!!! I leave for a few days and look what happens! Holy cow! I am so sorry. Your fall sounds horrible and I bet you are so sore, besides your foot. Gawd! I hope the foot heals better than lighting.
But, I must say......I love the pattern of that fabric on the pillow you have your foot resting on.

Emy said...

My foot felt like it was constantly cramping (the cramp in your arch where you have to suddenly jump up and walk on it to make it better).
I kept thinking mine was worse than they said too. I fell on my right knee as well and it never got xray-ed and it eventually started hurting worse than my foot.
Man I hated every single time I had to pee.

On the bright side, now you have more time to type the cookbook (I'm guessing you already have recipes that you've tested?)

Hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

I wish we lived near each other -- I'd have to make you my best friend. Your attitude would mesh so well with mine. Plus, I love helping in dire situations, so I'd totally take the boys during the day to play with my little girl.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you at least have the help of Aaron, and the drugs! I'll give you a call this week. We never did get to dish about that certain evil someone we were going to dish about...

Oh, and Universe? I can vouch for all that Capello has learned. Hell, all of her readers are learning too. So how about throwing some good karma at all of us now? But especially Capello, 'cause she's earned it many times over!

Anonymous said...

well you're just an awesome lady my dear. I'm sorry that you are in pain though. I hope that part goes away really fast. Thanks for answering all the questions. Good thing you got that laptop huh?
I hope the universe hears your call and sends some good stuff your way.

Anonymous said...

I know it's hard to get to the Dr. but if it hurts that bad, I hope you go. When I got my wisdom tooth, I suffered several days of dry socket before I went. I kept thinking I had done everything right, how could it be a dry socket? while I was laying on the couch unable to do anything with the kids except moan at them. I hope you get everything taken care of soon so that you can feel better.

Claire Louise Milne said...

I love your blog, you're so witty and funny I was laughing out loud. I just love your writing style. That being said I'm sorry to hear about the broken foot - very yucky. If it helps I'm sure I would be a big baby and be whimpering on the couch all day and maybe possibly a teeny bit cranky so as far as I can see you're doing great. chin up.

julie said...

You dont make us happy from your misery - we empathise with you and you are just SO funny - very straight and honest! Feel better and just be you! And my knees are killing me!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh man - I hope you are OK and that the pain is worse than people admit (like childbirth) or that you are indeed, a wimp. Buthey, so am I.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for answering my question and put me down for a copy of your recipe book when its ready!