Friday, July 28, 2006

It's Better to be Hated for Who Your Are than to be Loved For Someone You're Not

  1. My name is Laura Christine Capello-[hyphenated last name withheld because my husband would kill me, and no one wants that]
  2. I've been told that my mom picked out my middle name solely based on the fact that the word "Christ" is in it
  3. I was born into a very Catholic family
  4. My mom died when I was four
  5. She was 28 and had leukemia
  6. Turning 29 was a BIG DEAL for me
  7. About two weeks before my mom died, she told me God needed her more in heaven than I needed her on Earth
  8. At four years old, I thought that was a crock of shit
  9. At 29 years old, I still think it's a crock a shit
  10. I cuss more than a trucker
  11. And if you think I cuss a lot on my blog, you probably wouldn't want to meet me
  12. I remember the first time I said a curse word
  13. I was 12
  14. I said "fuck"
  15. I quickly gasped! and covered my mouth with my hands
  16. My dad quickly remarried, less than four months after my mom's death
  17. He thought I needed a mother
  18. We would have been better off without marrying that woman
  19. I refer to her as my "stepmonster"
  20. Yes, she really earned the name
  21. By locking me in closets
  22. And beating me with wire hairbrushes
  23. No one likes to hear those details
  24. But that's my life
  25. She was Southern-Baptist and made me go to church all the time
  26. I didn't like it
  27. And I would get in trouble all the time
  28. Because I asked "too many questions"
  29. I could remember sermons and I would ask the preacher questions because he would contradict himself
  30. I think asking questions is great
  31. My stepmonster had a son nine years older than me
  32. I was the designated condom-passer-outer at his parties
  33. My dad kicked my stepmonster out when I was 14
  34. On my 16th birthday she told me she never wanted to see me again
  35. That was fine
  36. My dad married Kathy when I was 18
  37. She's an awesome person
  38. And I love that she brings out the best in my dad
  39. I've never won a trophy
  40. Or a metal
  41. But I have won ribbons
  42. For art projects
  43. And math contests
  44. I was an honor roll student all through school
  45. I was also the photographer for the high school newspaper
  46. I wanted to major in PhotoJournalism
  47. When I graduated from high school, I was offered a job as a photographer for a local newspaper making a lot of money
  48. I turned it down to go to college
  49. I still don't know what I was thinking when I did that
  50. I went to a local community college for two years to save money
  51. I was the photoeditor for their newspaper the whole time
  52. Then I transferred to the University of Kansas
  53. By then, I was burnt-out with PhotoJournalism
  54. And the head of the department told me "they couldn't teach me anymore than I knew"
  55. So I majored in Advertising instead
  56. I put myself through college
  57. And have the debt to prove it
  58. I worked for the school's public relations department
  59. And I worked for non-profits
  60. And I worked for a home improvement store from the time I was 16 until I graduated college
  61. I love doing home improvements myself
  62. I met Aaron when I was 19
  63. We met on the internet
  64. We were on a newsgroup together (I guess that's what it would be called)
  65. I made a post to the group about believing in soulmates
  66. He emailed me and told me I was full of shit
  67. We fought over email for a few weeks
  68. Then started talking about other stuff
  69. Three months later he came to Kansas City for a visit
  70. Three months after that he moved here
  71. He didn't move here for me
  72. I was just "an added bonus"
  73. We moved in together when I was 21
  74. He proposed when I was 22
  75. We bought our house together when I was 23
  76. And six months later we got married
  77. In our backyard
  78. He's five years older than me
  79. And wanted a baby before he was 30
  80. Griffin was born six days before this 30th birthday
  81. I didn't "push" Griffin out
  82. I "coughed" him out
  83. Griffin is named after Aaron's grandfather, but his name is switched around (Griffin Lewis instead of Lewis Griffin)
  84. It was my idea (Aaron agreed)
  85. Two and half years later, we had Darwin
  86. Darwin in named after Charles Darwin
  87. It was my idea (Aaron agreed)
  88. Darwin's middle name is my paternal grandfather's middle name (Gabriel)
  89. When I yell at the boys, I use their middle names
  90. That must have something to do with my Catholic genetics
  91. I'm not Catholic, nor am I Southern Baptist, nor am I Christian
  92. Saying you're not Christian is like committing social suicide if you live in the U.S, especially if you live in Kansas
  93. I live in Kansas
  94. I don't think it's my role in life to judge others
  95. I firmly believe in karma
  96. I am very interested in sociology, and how people "work"
  97. Both boys and and I have food allergies, the worst being to wheat
  98. That's why I'm writing a gluten-free cookbook
  99. I am very blessed to have Aaron and the boys
  100. I love where my life has turned up


Anonymous said...

i have a lump in my throat and NO ITS NOT CAUSE IM SICK.

i don't know why. i love that you are honest about yourself and plowing your way through life. that is fanfuckingtastic.

and guess what, I am a christian and still believe in karma and some of darwin, though not all, and will you still be my online friend now that you know that?

Junie Moon said...

I like you! Great and honest description of yourself and your life.

Anonymous said...

Will you be my friend too? I too swear a lot. Too much. My three year old has been known to say 'bollocks' in the local supermarket if he drops something. That is NOT good. Normally I would encourage children to speak their mind, but like every rule it has an exception to it. Sometimes it's better to just shut up.

I'm glad you shared all that with us. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Perfect list, my friend. That's you alright.

I wish (some) people could come to grips with the fact that just because you aren't Christian DOES NOT mean that you're immoral, unethical, or unpatriotic. Religious freedom people- it means you're also free NOT to be religious. And you CAN be spiritual without being religious. They are different things.

OK, I'm stepping down now.

Anonymous said...

I love your honesty and I'm sorry you lost your mom so young and that you had to grow up with a stepmonster.

Leanne said...

That was a tear-jerker! I think this is the best post I've read in a really long time. And I think you are someone I could really get into trouble with if we ever went out for drinks somewhere! Between the two of us, sailors would blush at the language and we'd probably get kicked out of every establishment we set foot in since this country is so 'darn' ;P hung up on conservative christian values. Hey -- I am a christian, I just don't think it's very christian to pretend to be holier than thou!!!!

Anonymous said...

I loved reading this. I learned a lot about you.

Anonymous said...

Every little bit more I learn about you, the more I wish you lived in Rochester, NY, so we could hang out all the time. Why Kansas? Why?

Anonymous said...

1. I love lists like this.
2. I loved yours especially.
3. You've had quite a life!
4. I'm glad you are happy where you are now.
5. Being not Christian in Texas isn't too easy either.
6. But Austin isn't Texas, thankfully.

Anonymous said...

Excellent list! Life is a wild ride, isn't it???

Kim -today's creative blog said...

Laura laura laura, I know you don't want me to feel sorry for you, but I am so sad that your childhood was like it is. Sorry that your mother died. I just read another post on Creative LIttle Daisy about her mother dying young.
I love that you are able to be YOU! I love your blog. You make me smile every day.
Keep blazing your path! You are perfect.

laeroport said...

What a great, honest, brave post my friend. And I'm in Kansas and not so Christian - especially judging the number of Hindu god around my house!

Your childhood makes me think of my mother's - her dad was married 4 times. My mom's mom was the first. The second was a doozy. I hate that anyone has to go through a sucky childhood. It's childhood for god's sake! It's supposed to be happy and carefree! I hope we can at least give that gift to our children. :)

Anonymous said...

Nice, honest list - you've had a lot go on in your life. I find it interesting that you were into photojournalism, yet in your blog, there are so few photos. You are such a good writer that you can keep us all engaged WITHOUT pictures - amazing.

Marshamlow said...

It is very freeing to open up and let it all hang out, yes? I am not sure where I fall on the Christian or not Christain affiliation. I do not belong to any church and never have, I have never been hurt or burned by a church so I have nothing against them. I wouldn't go so far as to say I don't believe, I just don't want to be a part of the hypocracy, the us against them, aspect of organized religion bothers me. So glad to have met you.

Green Kitchen said...

I sooo agree with your title. I was lucky enough to figure that out in highschool and quickly ditched or was ditched by the "friends" that weren't into me as me. Luckily I was more greatly influenced by some strong, non-materialistic women in my neighborhood. They put creativity up high on their list of things to be.

I'm not Christian either. I don't even believe that there is something after death. Even in California this scares some people.

P.S. Sorry this comment is about me.

kirsten said...

Why would you move to Rochester (sorry, anonymous) when you could move to Australia and be MY friend???
I didn't cry at your list, Laura. I smiled the whole way through (yes, even the painful bits) and thought, this girl has it together.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you've really been through a lot, especially losing your mom at such a young age. After all that, I imagine it makes your own family all the more dear to you.

Count me as a non-Christian (actually, non-religious) Kansan. My husband and I often feel like our own little island here.

julie said...

Wow..i admire your honesty Laura. You seem a very strong person and I admire that too. Continue being you and be proud of it :)xxx

Anonymous said...

I don't really get the whole christian thing - over here you're more likely to be looked at strangely if you say you are a christian. As a nation we don't really do religion (of course that's a massive sweeping generalization). We don't discuss Darwinism - it's just assumed that you believe in evolution - I can't imagine anything else being taught in a school here.
I love your list and love that I 'know' you and I just know that we'd get into some serious trouble together if we ever went out!!
I am sorry your childhood was shit - it sucks doesn't it? I'm still waiting for the day that it doesn't matter any more. And in fact I've found that since becoming a mother I understand what 'parents' can do even less.
Love you and your fucking blog!

Sandrine (alias Didine ♥ ) said...

I'm a french speaker (and walloon speaker too :) !) and I try to learn english for..mmmmmmm...more than 20 years now ! And this long post even if it was written in a different language from my maternal one made me smile, made me feel so happy, sad, made me laughed,... I love so much your post honey ! And to tell you the truth I don't know in whom I believe but I believe you made my day, my weekend, my month, my year, my decade !!! It was such a real pleasure to read you !! Thank you so much for sharing all this ! Smooches from Belgium !

Anonymous said...

Ah, Capello. Again, I love ya.
Guess what? From "knowing" you for what...6 months now? I knew a little more than 1/2 of your lists from you blog and our emails! It was great to read the other stuff too. I like you and Aaron's story. Very neat.
Sad childhood stuff really bums me out. But then again, all the crap that happened to you made you into the awesome person you are today. Not that I don't wish you didn't have to deal with all the sadness and pain of course, but you know what I"m saying, right? Just nod.
That was a wonderful list. And the honesty is beautiful. Me heart you blog.
I'd say, that if we lived closer WE'd run the town causing disaster, but that wouldn't be true. I don't cause trouble, or drink, or run the town. But I'd come hang out with you and we might laugh just a little bit anyway. 8-)
So would it be wrong for me to buy the big yellow house on CHURCH st. across the street from the town's giant church? Would they run my non-believing self outta there? Beat me with bibles? Burn things on my yard? It is the south ya know?
You rock my love.

Lyn said...

As a Catholic, the middle name thing MUST be in the genes! I always use middle names, mad or not. I also cuss like a sailor. Sorry you hard a wicked stepmonster, karma baby, KARMA!!!!

Love the post!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Yours is the second list of things that has me choked up!!! I love your honesty and ability to share these things with other people.

Anonymous said...

and this is why I love you. not weird internet stalker love. Just admirable love, like the way I love a gorgeous sunset that paints everything orange, or the way hummingbirds can fly in one place.

I already knew two things about you:

1. That you had to have been through some serious shit to have such a sense of humor.
2. That you have to be smart to have such a sense of humor.

Suse said...

What a bloody great honest post!

Anonymous said...

I swear to god I love you. We need to drink together. I don't curse on my blog, but in real life....