Wednesday, March 04, 2009

So Do You Laugh or Does it Cry

The past few weeks have been filled with helping my friend slap a wedding together in less than a month.

They got engaged last spring, yes, but decided to hold off on planning things -- why rush it? Well, one thing leads to another and life would just work out better if they were married.

Okay, no problem, right?

Oh, look at that. I made a funny.

Initially they decided to have a courthouse wedding. And guess what - when you have a courthouse wedding in Missouri it's by a minister -- double score for the groom's parents!

Only, not so much. Apparently that isn't good enough.

So last week - with less than two weeks to go - my friends moved it to a chapel. Which requires a fancy dress for her, a fancy dress for me, hiring a photographer and (good lord) now renting tuxes for the dudes.

Saturday night we went frantically shopping and managed to find me a dress. That fits. Only issue - they didn't have it in truffle. So they called another store, had me buy it and it'd be shipped to me in a matter of days.

Well, I got the dress yesterday. Took it out of the box and... it's the wrong damn dress. This thing is backless down past my asscrack and has ruffles on my boobs. RUFFLES ON MY BOOBS. So not only would I either be looking like the most gigantic piece of chocolate ever created or I'd be looking like a piece of poop with bright pink panties.

Breathing into a paper bag brought me out of my hysterics and supposedly the store is now re-shipping the proper dress to me.

The shit you do for friends.

green week! teacups on the piano (yes, that's where they live), a gift from my mother-in-law


MichelleB said...

I really think that you should try it on for us. For your blog's sake you know. To liven things up a bit. yes?

Rachel said...

Did you have a picture taken of you in that dress? I think your fans need to see it!
Have fun at the wedding...

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, I know about the Missouri courthouse ministers. We were married the morning of our wedding at the courthouse by Barry Clemens, who sounded like he was saying "I bury Clemons" instead of "I, Barry Clemens," so we were cracking up through the whole thing. He sounded like the Simpsons minister.

I hope the rest of the wedding planning is smooth sailing!

Logan said...

That's even worse than trying to buy a bathing suit!

Skye @ Planet Jinxatron said...

Thank goodness for the teacups.

misschris said...

oh honey. We need to see a photo of the wrong dress. Ruffles on *your* boobs? Good heavens.

The Coffee Lady said...

I want to see the boob ruffles. Where are the photos?

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness, I cannot stop laughing. I should never read while tired because the words "big, chocolate & asscrack" are now stuck in my head.


Anonymous said...

I still feel like crap, but am glad I checked in, because thinking of a piece of poop with bright pink panties cheered me up a little.

Unknown said...

I can't believe you didn't take a picture. Tee hee hee.

Winks & Smiles,

therese said...

HA HA HA, that's a great story! You should go and check out my recently posted wedding dress story on my blog. It has certain similarities.

Angelina said...

I love your tea cups!

Why is it green week? Who decides this stuff?

You are a great friend.

I think you should wear the wrong dress just for the fun of it!!!

Anonymous said...

Now that is something I'd pay to see. tee hee!
happy weekend, toots!

Chickenbells said...

Years ago when I was a bridesmaid in a dear friend's wedding, I shlepped 2 hours to try on a dress...found the PERFECT size, and ordered 2 sizes bigger (cause' I had a feeling that they would ship the wrong one and then make me pay them to alter it) Sure enough, even at that larger size it was too small. I took it home anyway and called a friend who use to do costuming for Broadway and showed them.