Let Me Run With You Tonight, I'll Take You On a Moonlight Ride

The leaves have fallen, the gluten-free goodie bags for trick or treaters have been made, the costumes have been washed, dried and ready to go.

I love Halloween.

I know that it seems odd for us to trick or treat, given the children's harsh allergies (hello, I had to WASH their costumes). But just because they can't eat any of their treats, except for dum dum lollipops and swedish fish, doesn't mean they should miss out of one of the greatest nights for being a kid.

It's a Dead Man's Party, Who Could Ask for More?

We spent the first part of the morning "decorating"...


Aaron and Griffin made quite the Halloween decorations this weekend...


... and Griffin even "helped" me with this pain in the ass cute bat...


... which required a lot of x-acto knife work. Oy. I still have blisters.

Friday was great -- I spent the afternoon out of the house running errands By Myself. The joy.

On Saturday, while we were loading the children in the van, on the way to the pumpkin patch, I felt something on my chest, which I swatted away. As I was buckling Darwin in, I felt something furry on my arm... it was a massive honey bee. At least three feet long. And beadie eyes bigger than marbles. Honest. And very pissed off. And the fucker stung me. Which sent me into hysterics...

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRROOOOOOONNNNNN!!!! AAAAAAARRRRRRROOOOOONNNNN!!! GET THE EPI-PEN! EEEEEEPPPPPPEEEEE PEEEEEENNNN! I'M GOING TO DIE! I'M GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"What?"

"GET THE EPI-PEN! EEEEPPPPPEEEE-PEEEEN! I'M GOING TO DIE!"

"Why do you need the EpiPen?

"BECAUSE I'M GOING TO DIE!" ::sobbing::

Hmm. Yeah. We're really organized in this house. Have I mentioned how fabulous our communication skills are in the midst of a crisis?

Anyway, amazingly enough -- I didn't die. And I didn't get the EpiPen either. Aaron gave me a triple dose of Benadryl because he didn't want to take me to the hospital (ah, such a nice, loving husband -- yes?). And then I took a four hour nap.

I woke up just in time to make an appearance (sans costume) at Alicia's fabulous Halloween party (which I also didn't take a ton of photos. I'm such a disappointment this weekend).

Then Sunday we finally made it to the pumpkin patch, followed by a birthday party.

No wonder I'm feeling like I need today to recover from the weekend.

O-oh, it's a Picture of Perfection; A-ah, and the Postcard's Gonna Read, "Fuck Yeah, We Can Live Like This"

After multiple failed attempts (including a honey bee bite yesterday), we finally made it to the pumpkin patch today.


A full-winded version coming later; but for now, enjoy the 40 additional photos on flickr.

Whispers, Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

Aaron got home last night at 12:30. But he's home. And safe. And he's under the impression he gets to do what he wants to do today.

Boy, is he in for a massive dose of reality.

Another Friday, another Work In Progress, another week that has passed where my secret project is not yet revealed.


But we're working on it. We're cookin' it up. Hopefully it'll be done soon...

Now, if you'll excuse me... I need to go do something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with Taking Care of Children.

No Need to Talk it Right Here Just Park it Right Here Keep it Undercover

The Universe is playing a cruel, horrible joke on. You hear me, Universe? CRUEL AND HORRIBLE.

Now, apparently, I've got a stomach bug as well...

Eight hours, eight hours and Aaron will be home. Eight hours, eight hours.


We are reaching in the bottom of the barrel for entertainment, folks.

Yesterday while I was at Starbucks, the helper lady asked...

"When are you due?"
"Huh?"
"When are you due?"
"Huh?
"When are you due?"
"Oh. Oh. OH."

I wasn't offended, but THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY, insinuating such a thing. Everyone knows that the world would rotate off its axis and spiral towards the sun in a flame of glory if I ever got pregnant again.

M-M-M-O-R-M-O-R-N-I-N-G

Well, I must be feeling better (despite the secondary sinus infection) because I have been a-cleanin' and a-scrubbin' all morning.

Kill the germs! Kill the germs!

The floors have been mopped and vacuumed. Everything has been scrubbed with a bleach cleaner. And the bathroom, the bathroom, is now gleaming.

Germs be gone!

Whilst I was sick, I became highly addicted to Perez Hilton and William Sledd. I know... but every girl needs snark and gay men's fashion advice sometimes.

(Obviously, I'm trying really hard not to bitch and complain... 'cause there's only so many ways I can say "the kids are sick," "they are driving me crazy" and "someone please remind me why I intentionally did this to myself.")

Hangin' Tough

So... guess when Aaron's coming home.

Go ahead. Guess.

Thursday.

Thursday.

And you know I can't have any ouzo, what with this sinus infection and all.

Maybe some more of this will help me cope...


... then again, maybe not. It's not a husband.

Darwin slept in the bed with me last night because he's sick (of course he's sick; why wouldn't he be?). He has a sinus infection and double ear infection.

My life is so much fun. I'm guessing you're really jealous right now, aren't you? Admit it, you're green with envy.

Two Dozen Other Stupid Reasons Why We Should Suffer For This

We are under attack! Under Attack! Run for your lives! The birds! The birds!


I know, I know, it's "the glare." Well, it would be "the glare" if it was only one window. But it's eight windows distributed on each side of the house.

Perhaps they just want to help me prime the entry room. Hmmmm....

We are finally doing better. And by "we" I mean me and Griffin; still congested but no more fevers. Darwin's sick now. Up at 5:05 in the morning ready to cough, puke and party.

Welcome to my new mantra: this is life with kids, this is life with kids, this is life with kids...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is how the day is going...


... at least he's specifically requesting it. He "wants to calm down."

Obviously, Daddy needs to come home.

C'est La Vie, C'est La Vie, That's Just the Way it Goes (That's Right)

One minute, Griffin is doing this...


... the next minute he is rolling on the floor and biting his brother.

Fuck.

I've written before about Griffin and his Sensory Integration Disorder and not-fully-diagnosed "borderline autism." It has been getting better. But then there are days. Days. Days like today where banging my head against the wall sounds like a really good idea.

Well, it must have been a good idea because Griffin took it upon himself, after apologizing to Darwin, to bang a hard dinosaur against his head. When I took it away, it starting punching himself in the face. Lovely.

So I did what any well-trained parent would do. I got out a big quilt, made him lay on the edge with his arms down and I rolled him up and sat him on the couch for ten minutes.

It totally worked. He's been good and behaving ever since.

But still. Fuck yo, that was some tough shit right there.

(You may notice ::cough, cough:: over there on the right column there's an ad... I've been approved [I say approved because it makes me feel special] from BlogHerAds to display advertising. After today, I think the funds are going to Occupational Therapy for Griffin. Or, you know, food. That pesky eating habit.)

You Made Me Promises, Promises

Um. Hi. Aaron didn't come home last night. Nope. Nuh-uh.

He's coming home Tuesday. Tuesday. Sweet baby Jesus, Tuesday.

::cough, cough, hack:: "Mommy?" ::cough:: "You feeling any better?"
::hack, hack, cough, sneeze:: "No. You?" ::hack::
::sneeze, cough, cough:: "Me neither." ::cough, cough::

It's gonna be a lovely weekend.