I See You and You See Me

The antibiotics have not killed me. I repeat: THE ANTIBIOTICS HAVE NOT KILLED ME.

Although, I do believe, a five-year-old's meltdown very well could have.


Griffin decided to build some of his legos today (yes, we buy Legos over his age). An hour into the building extravaganza he had a total meltdown. On number six and it was totally wrong.

So I spent the next two hours helping.


Of course by "helping" I mean "parental preventative maintenance in brick control and proper engineering techniques."


Also known as, that little punk wouldn't let me do any of the building.

There Must be Some Misunderstanding (Whew-Whooo-Whooo) There Must be Some Kind of Mistake (Whew-Whooo-Whooo)

I just got home from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with Mastoiditis.

What? You don't know what Mastoiditis is?

It's an infection of the ear bones.

But oh, IT GETS BETTER.

See, I've been having this on-again, off-again affair with a fever for over a month. I really didn't think much of it, just figured I was fighting something off, no big deal. Just a fever. Nothing else. Just a tiny, harmless, occasional fever.

On Sunday my ear hurt. I thought I was getting some sort of funky ear infection because it hurt, but not in the normal way. I started popping ibuprofen and began taking my Nystatin (anti-yeast medicine my alternative doctor provides for ear infections) and went about my business.

Which included lots of bitchin' about my ear.

Today is day three of this ear thing and it's just getting worse. So, I decided to look it up on the internet. My self-diagnoses resulted in the interents opinion of "URGET! GO SEE DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY!" After doing some additional research I figured, fine.

My regular doctor doesn't work Tuesdays (and is switching practices in February, that bastard) so I went to see someone else at a different office.

Someone else who decided to BITCH ME OUT for not seeing a doctor in a month. Seriously? Don't ya think it's a little extreme to need to be seen for just an occasional fever?

(Um. Maybe don't answer that.)

So! Anyway!

Mastoiditis. Yeah. IT FUCKING ROCKS. Because not only is it an infection in the bones of the ear, if it goes untreated it can spread to the skull and to the brain and then you get to have brain surgery!

Personally, I think the whole thing is hilarious. Because, come one, I can't get a simple ear infection? Or just a really bad one? I have to go get an infection in my bones. How does one do that anyway? Get an infection in bones?

So I'm on an antibiotic. We have a huge stock of benedryl and epipens awaiting any allergic reaction. In all seriousness an antibiotic should clear this whole matter up and it should never come up again.

And the antibiotic comes with an extra bonus: nausea and diarrhea. Which translates to extra weight loss.

DOUBLE SCORE!

(Really, I feel fine. My ear hurts. That's all.)

Go Ahead, You Can Laugh All You Want; I Got My Philosphy

Ever notice how paperwhites smell like ass?


Don't get me wrong, they are really pretty and smell good up close... but there's something about paperwhites that make the whole house smell like poo.

All weekend Aaron was running around trying to find the smell and I was all, "dude, it's the flowers" and he was all "Darwin! Come here! Let me smell your toes!"

::blink, blink::

I swear it's the flowers.

Step By Step (Ooooh Baby), Really Want You in My World

There's the potty training...


... which isn't as much "training" anymore as it is constant cleaning out the little potty.

And someone still insistent on wearing his underpants backward. Hmph.

I'm Alright, Don't Nobody Worry 'Bout Me

I broke my sewing machine today.

::blink, blink::

No, I'm totally not kidding.

But with a little research, a panicked email to a good friend and a short call later I got it fixed.


Thank Goddess for the internets.

With a Boulder On My Shoulder, Feelin' Kinda Older, I Tripped the Merry-Go-Round

Gah.

I've spent the whole day on the computer so far and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna go blind.

I posted a new recipe on my recipe site. Here's a picture:


Yummy-yummy Orange Cranberry Bread. I strongly urge you to make it. It beats the hell out of boxed cereal for breakfast.

I also did some template changes over there (which nearly caused me to cry in the corner and suck my thumb) and designed a new banner. Please be polite.

Additionally, I've started writing over at The Fat Ass Water Cooler as well. No, I did not come up with that title. If it was up to me it would have been, "Ye Old Time of Fat Assery." There's a strong difference there.

Now, I'm going to see if I can do something that doesn't cause my fingers to go clickety-clackety-clack on a keyboard.

You Are an Obsession, You're My Obsession

And I'm guessing you think I should be happy he likes the potty so much.

I Feel Fine Enough, I Guess; Considering Everything's a Mess

I've always been told I always want to take on too much, that my expectations are absolutely unreasonable. And I've always thought, OH FUCKING WELL.

For 2008 I've become The List Master.

Seriously, I'm so tired of feeling like I'm crumbling under towers of shit. It's a frightening feeling actually, to feel crippled by your home. So, to help remedy it, I made this on my basement door...


... now, these aren't resolutions -- they are GOALS. You know, goals. Things you want to accomplish but you aren't gonna make yourself feel like shit if you don't. Yeah, THOSE.

It took me a damn week to come up with them.

I'm Gonna Fly on Down Then Fly Away

You want some of this?


Do you? DO YOU?

Because I can totally go buy a digital camcorder and SHARE THE LOVE.

Oh my hell.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

So. Potty training.

Darwin's doing GREAT with the potty training. He's even willing to wear underpants.

Of course, he wears them backwards and gets wedgies. But whatever.

And today he peed his pants, so I made him sit on the potty while I cleaned the carpet. When I was done I checked on him and he had pooped.

But he still had his underpants on. But whatever.

In other news, is anyone else having a hard time finding a groove? You know, I don't think I've had a groove for a year. I need a groove.

I'm working on some lists of things I want to accomplish this year. My goal is to have those goals written out and posted on Monday.

Fuck. I have goals of making goals. What the hell is happening to me?

Hey, ever see a Venus Fly Trap flower?

(Yeah, dude, I totally just changed the subject.)


Pretty cool, huh? We've been waiting for over a month for the flower to open. It opened today. I actually managed to catch it. Amazing - I'm being semi-aware of my life around me.

And the non-glamorous picture...

(Hey, you know how I know how to spell "glamorous" now? That damn Fergie song "g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s-yeah.")


Pretty fucking weird huh? Of course, I guess I should be so surprised. It's a plant that eats bugs for Christ's sake.

(Oh yeah. Griffin got his own laptop for Christmas. Of course, he constantly bitches that he can't go online with it. Gah.)

Um, happy new year?