Moving Forward Using All My Breath

Finally. Finally we are getting winter weather. Geesh, it took long enough.


So far it's just little smatherings of ice pellets. But over the next 48 hours it will turn into freezing rain and snow.

You know, between 60 degrees yesterday and ice today, it almost makes me love living in Kansas.

The boys and I are in full hibernation gear. It is nearly noon and we are all still in pajamas (of course, Griffin did just wake up half an hour ago). Last night I went to the grocery store (wow, we all feel very strongly about our food, don't we? love it) to get enough for dinner tonight (roasted chicken and root vegetables), dinner tomorrow (creamy potato soup) and an emergency pantry meal (vegetarian baked gluten-free pasta) as well as everything I need to make mini chocolate cupcakes with chocolate buttercream to make tomorrow for the soiree on Sunday (which had BETTER NOT GET CANCELED due to weather).

And perhaps the gods will even shine down on me and allow me time to make a Valentine's themed pillow.


Now to just draw a pattern and get the fabrics washed...

Don't Try To Tell Me It Ain't What It Is

Yesterday in the doctor's waiting area, I picked up a local free parenting magazine and flipped through it. My friend's name popped out and I quickly re-found the page.

She had written and article and got published, I was so happy for her. She's one of those people who have tons of writing projects in the works and is submitting article ideas all over the place.

The article was about stocking-up on household items and food; an important topic for people with young children. Two paragraphs into the article I read...

"It's logical to consider stocking up so I don't have to go to the store all the time with the children in tow. I know a mom who goes to the grocery store daily so her family can have the freshest ingredients. I rarely even have time to SHOWER daily."

Now let me start by saying, I HAVE DELICATE LITTLE FEELINGS. Mmmkay? And, I've been known to be very hypersensitive.

That said, what she wrote pissed me off.

First of all, she didn't even call me her friend. And yeah, that shouldn't be that much of a surprise because we haven't talked in person in over six months but still? IT STUNG.

Second of all, she makes me sound like the psycho (or at least, the NOT LOGICAL ONE) for going to the grocery store daily. Now, I don't go to the grocery store every single day, just five or six days a week. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

She also failed to mention that this grocery-store-habit developed due to the fact that my refrigerator is a piece of shit. It can't hold a constant temperature for nothin' and I don't like to waste food.

But you know what? I like going to the grocery store every single day. I like the fact that Griffin, who is four, can identify at least three different apple varieties by name. He also knows how to check and pick the best ones being very careful not to pick ones with bruises. And I like the fact that Darin, who is two, knows how to pick out a good cucumber. How many people even know how to check for a good cucumber anyway? And he doesn't let you walk past the red bell pepper without letting him get at least one. And once we are over by those apples? Watch out because he's eating one now.

I'm a big fan of the whole stocking up philosophy. Toilet paper? Check. Paper towels? Check. Enough laundry detergent to take us into the next decade? Check. Frozen vegetables and fruits? Check. Enough baking supplies so I can make gluten-free quick breads by the fire of Armageddon? Check.

But wanting to grocery shop once a month (as she goes on to claim is her goal)? Hell to tha no.

What You Gonna Do When You Get Out of Jail?

I can't speak for anyone else, but in our house obsession is an everyday thing.

Of course, this totally includes me but whatever. I'm not talking about me. Or, at least, not right now.

Anyway, Griffin's birthday is coming up next month and he's already obsessed.

For the past few months he has been claiming to want a magic party. First thought? Shit, magicians cost a lot. Second thought? Awesome, I get to make stuff.

Then comes the standard it-is-the-new-year-here-is-a-bunch- of-new-catalogs and what does Griffin find? Lego Knight's Kingdom theme party.

Fuck. Everything is perfectly prepackaged. Invitations. Thank yous. A pinata. Goodie bags. Everything. There's nothing left for me to do other than make the cake or cupcakes.

To take Griffin's mind off the new obsession (and to get me to stop hyperventilating), Aaron took Griffin out Sunday to use Griffin's holiday gift card and what does the child buy?


It totally just sealed the deal.

And unless I can convince him otherwise, it's a prepackaged birthday party. Damn it.

(Oh, and that soiree I'm going to Sunday? The census is chocolate. Since cupcakes are easier to transport, should I make mini-cupcakes or regular cupcakes?)

(Obviously, I'm experiencing some indecisiveness at the moment.)

(Something must be fucking wrong with me.)

(And in case you missed it, I posted a new recipe on my gluten-free cooking site on Sunday.)

(That will be a weekly thing, yo.)

A Girl in Trouble is a Temporary Thing

So, welcome back!

What? You haven't been hitting "refresh" on my site all damn day wondering why in the fuck you don't have access?

Are you trying to claim you aren't obsessed with me? Come on now, let's be real.

Apparently Blogger has decided to punish the few of us who haven't updated to Beta and are now being total bastards about our sites.

(Note to self: back up archives. Seriously.)

What? You don't bitch about your free service providers? Amateurs.

I'm in need of some advice. I'm going to a little soiree Sunday and I want to make something baked. What should I make?

(I said "baked". Hahahaha.)

And apparently this is National De-Lurking Week. That means I'm gonna get like 100 comments, right? Right.

You know, I had tons of interesting stuff to say today, but fucking Blogger and their broken-ness fucked it all up. And now? I can't even remember what I was going to say.

Damn it.

Oh, On and On and On and On

So, Darwin was playing and....


... sigh.

My life is totally ridiculous.

And Playing Games is Part of Human Nature

So far, so good. My goal of keeping a positive attitude is working, but shit, it's hard to be Suzie Fucking Sunshine all the damn time.

Come one, you didn't expect me to be positive all the time, did you?

In any case, it is helping and it appears to be making life easier as well. The boys are certainly more content with the added attention and lack of stress on my part, so that's good.


And Griffin is definitely loving my ability to pause and play games too.

I have a whole list of things I hope to accomplish this year (accomplish, not resolutions) and I really need to take the time to write them down and post them here.

(For some reason, this is the only place that I can manage to keep clean and organized. If I post it on the internet, I will be completely unable to lose it. Why do you think I started the recipe site? To organize my recipes. And, to prevent Aaron from yelling at me when I misplace recipes he likes. It's a win-win situation.)

Another thing I hope to do, which will be added in said list, is to start participating in Ali Edward's Weekly Challenge. This week's challenge it to choose a word that you want to focus on for the year. I'm choosing enjoy. I have the hardest time relaxing and just enjoying the process (I think I've been saying that all week). So that's my word, enjoy.

One, Two, Three, Four, Come on Baby Say You Love Me, Five, Six, Seven Times

Griffin has decided to turn into my daily affirmation guru. Everyday, since New Year's day, he wakes up with a resounding, "Mommy! Today is a new day!"

This morning at breakfast he continued to proclaim, "Today is a new day! It is a beautiful day outside, Mom." (Mom? Mom? What happened to Mommy?) (And "beautiful"? The sky is gray and everything is brown right now, it is Kansas in January after all.) (Speaking of which, where the hell is my snow? I want snow. It is January. Give me snow.) "Look at all the beautiful plants, Mom. It's gonna be a great day!"

With a kid like this, I don't need no stinking Stuart Smalley.

Because This Type of Pimpin' Happens Every Day

Yesterday at our playdate....

"Darwin, are you a punk?"

"Punk!"

"Are you a pimp?"

"Pimp?" ::jumping up and down and pointing to penis:: "Pimp! Pimp! Pimp!"

And All the Roads We Have to Walk Are Winding

Thank you for all the wonderful comments and support on both sites yesterday (crap, I now have two sites).

This is the first time in my life I've ever felt scared of starting a new year, the first time I've ever felt the newness of a new calendar year.

I'm not much for resolutions, mainly because I'm a lazy ass and a fantabulous failure. Resolutions and I just don't seem to get along.

But this year I'm working on a new attitude, enjoying the process. I wrote about it last week and yesterday, but apparently I need to continue to drill it into my head. Enjoy the process, it is okay and everything is fine.

Just call me Stuart Smalley, I'm becoming full of daily affirmations.


I have a whole fabulous list of things today. Basic stuff like laundry, dishes and plan dinner (Beef Hash with Super Mashed Potatoes, I think it may be the next dish on my recipe site; expect about one recipe a week), and a few odd jobs like dust the boys' bedroom ceiling (old houses are fun), take lights off tree and take tree down. I also have my Motivated Moms planner to help me keep on top of the housework (I had it last year and it did help, even though I didn't follow it religiously; I'm working on following it better this year).

But all that is going to have to wait, we have a playdate this afternoon. (See? Enjoying the process.)

In the meantime...


Anyone have some good art project suggestions for all those wrapping paper rolls that would discourage the boys from beating each other with them? Anyone?

Runnin' Down A Dream, it Never Would Come to Me

Once again, I'm having a hard time speaking because my foot is shoved so far up my mouth.

Over the last five days I've spent over 30 hours working on my secret project, only for me to have a major meltdown yesterday and delete everything and start at the basics.

(And to everyone who thought I was pregnant, no and I'm not. And? Ya'll are crazy.)

It's quite obvious to me I'm going to have to work at things slowly, there's a lot I have to learn. I can't get done what I want to be done and it is very frustrating.

This process has taught me quite a lot, like slow down, enjoy life at a slower pace and I can't achieve perfection immediately. All lessons I need to learn, and will strive to try (because, damn, that migraine I got yesterday from my hissy fit was no fun).

So, if you are wondering what my secret project was... it's not how I want it to be. It's going to take a white to build. Hell, I can't even figure out how to get photos on there.


But in lieu of a cookbook (don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a cookbook published and in every bookstore in the world, and I'm hoping this will help me achieve that), I'm working on something else.

(Which will have no cursing. Holy fucking shit, no cursing?!)