Feel the Vibration, C'mon, C'mon, Feel it, Feel it

"Okay, Darwin's turn to pick out the music. What do you want to listen to Darwin?"

"Hard-Fi!"

"Darwin, we don't have Hard-Fi."

"Hard-Fi!"

"Jack Johnson!"

"Griffin, it's Darwin's turn. And Darwin, we don't have Hard-Fi."

"Hard-Fi!"

"How about your Arctic Monkeys? Or your Fall Out Boy?"

"Hard-Fi!"

"Dude, we don't have Hard-Fi."

"Hard-Fi!"

"How about Arctic Monkeys? Or Jack Johnson? Franz Ferdinand? Beth Orton? Ani DiFranco? Deathcab?"

"Jack Johnson, Darwin choose Jack Johnson!"

"HARD-FI!"

"Darwin. We. Do. Not. Have. Hard. Fi."

"Haaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddd-Fffffffffiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"



Um, yeah. Well, we do now.

And you all think I'm an audiophile.

With a Thrill in My Head and a Pill On My Tongue

Um, hi. I'm leaving for Michigan in 36 hours.

Let the FREAKING OUT begin.

Last night I made a batch of apple muffins (stupid fucking apple fest competition) and then crumbled into tears when I ate one. The texture was fine, the flavors were fine, the appearance was fine -- but that was the problem. Everything was just fine.

After doing an hour of apple muffin drive-bys (want a muffin? :whack:: here's your fucking muffin!), I went to the grocery store to get more supplies for more muffins.

Blame it on my OCD.

I have a third batch in the oven. That makes, oh, six dozen muffins I've made in the last 24 hours.

And just so we're all crystal clear in this situation -- if I do enter the muffins in the competition (and really, that's a big fucking if), I seriously doubt I'll win. No, it's not anything against my cooking, but when you eat something gluten-free at the same time you're eating foods with wheat, you notice the slight flavor and texture differences. So no one should have their hopes up of me actually winning the damn thing.

Although, I must say everyone should make apple muffins today -- it makes you home smell awesome.

So... it sounds like Aaron definitely has to go to work for at least part of the day tomorrow. Which means no Laura staying up late and priming the entry room and no Laura sleeping half the day away tomorrow and no Laura getting lots of good rest before driving her family overnight all night.

I think I need to go make another batch of muffins. Yes! Good idea! Drown my denial in the cinnamony goodness. Who needs to do laundry, clean house, wash dishes, pack and make gluten-free food for a trip when there's an apple competition to enter?

Well, She Did and She Does and She'll Do it Again

The plastering is done. Done. Done. Done.


Now the entry room walls match the rest of the house, and I didn't have to rip out the five different kinds of wallboard/paneling in order to do it too.

The next step is to prime the whole room with Kilz (gotta love rusty nail heads and water damage).

However, the next project I need to focus on is the fact that we are going to Michigan Thursday evening, to make up for the 4th of July trip we missed thanks to the Stupid Fucking Foot.

We are scheduled to leave Thursday after dinner and I will drive us all night (750 miles, this should be fun); then we'll leave Sunday after dinner and I will drive us home through the night (another 750 miles, more fun). And, no, we still don't know if Aaron is coming with us or not.

In the case that Aaron does come with us, I hope to stay up super-late Wednesday night and prime the entry room. Then I can sleep half of Thursday away and make the super long drive without too many complications.

Needless to say, my mother-in-law is super excited we are coming up. Aaron's hometown is having the Apple Fest this weekend. Apparently there is a bake-off and my MIL wants to me enter something in it (like I'm going to be able to bake after being up all night long).

But I am quite certain that if my cookbook ever does get published, having a tag line of "Winner of the 2006 Coldwater, Michigan, Apple Fest Bake-off" will certainly make copies fly off the shelves like no one's business.

And Here I Go Again On My Own

People who claim to not enjoy home improvement projects must never have gotten high off the toxic fumes.


I'm fucking determined to get all the plastering done today.

And dude, I'm so high right now.

I'm a Sexy Mama (Mama)

Last night Darwin went with me to the pharmacy to stand in a never-ending line to pick up some prescriptions. Since he decided to be lazy and act like a pretty-pretty-princess, it was decided I had to hold him. Boredom got the better of him and he looked down my shirt.

"Wook! Wook!"

"What do you see Darwin?"

"Boooooooobiiiiiieeeeeesssss!"

Then he decided to swiftly pull my collar down and pop one of my boobs out.

"TAAAAAAAA-DAAAAAAA!!!!"

Because, you know, everyone at the 24-hour Osco needs to know what my boobies look like.

Between him and Griffin's new obsession of taking pictures of my boobs (oh yeah, that kid gets a hold of the digital camera and takes pictures of my boobs. We have a whole collection), I make an excellent case of why not to breastfeed your children.

Just When You Think You've Got a Hold, Just When You Get on a Roll, Oh Here it Goes, Here it Goes, Oh Here it Goes Again

Day three of no television, and Griffin is trying really hard to make a case for it.


"Look Mommy! I can make an 'x' with my fingers!"

"Yes, I see that -- great job Griff! Did you learn that in preschool?"

"No, I learned it from cartoons."

Also, Darwin has figured out how to turn the cable box on. Luckily, he hasn't figured out how to change the channels yet, but let's face it -- it's just a matter of time.

And when he does turn it on, he'll actually sit down and watch the NASA station (that's the default station). I complained about it to Aaron, who's response was, "WOMAN, if my children want to watch the NASA station, YOU BETTER LET THEM."

I've received a few emails and comments about the subject, inquiring as to why I'm doing such a crazy experiment ("HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF GOD, LAURA WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!"). Let me just say that when a four-year old starts contemplating wearing diapers again so he doesn't have to peel his ass off the couch and possibly miss one second cartoons, you've gotta turn that shit off.

I must say, I'm surprised at how life is going without any television (oh, there's a little -- one cartoon while I get breakfast ready and one cartoon before bed, if they have been good). For starters, these children are clingy. Cling-eeee. And my personal goals are getting farther and farther behind, like my secret project. I'm not even a third of the way finished, and considering the project is like sewing calisthenics -- sew a little, iron, sew a little, iron, sew a little, iron -- it's not going to be finished anytime soon.

Meanwhile, I've resumed construction (hey, I consider it construction) on the entry room again...


I finished off my tub a plaster this morning. I think I need to purchase two more.


And I painted over my red test subjects. ::sob:: I already miss the red.

And, as if Aaron and I couldn't get anymore nerdier, we've been doing projects in the evenings instead of watching as much tv too.


Aaron and his pyramids. This phase is really lasting a long time.

Meanwhile, I went digging in my basement trying to find my senior yearbook. Some friends from high school found me and were all, "Why didn't you go to the reunion?" And I was all, "Because I was sick with my celiac disease." (Damn you celiac disease! ::shaking fists in air::)

Anyway, I found my junior yearbook and came across this charmer...


::blink blink::

I tucked my jeans into my socks.

::blink blink::

I Tucked My Jeans Into My Socks.

::blink blink::

I TUCKED MY JEANS INTO MY SOCKS.

See? We wouldn't have done any of this had I not taken away the television privileges.

Who's to Say I Can't Do Everything, But I Can Try

We just got back from the Dermatologist for Darwin another appointment. It was suppose to be a follow-up for the polka-dot rash, but the doctor got a whole new can of worms with the new rash Darwin is sporting. (I would post photos, but I don't want anyone to freak out.)

Poor Darwin -- that's quickly becoming the family motto. Between his chronic food allergies (over 250), his atopic dermatitis, his rare and complicated unknown rashes and his eye accident this kid has faced a lot in his short little life.


At least turning off the tv has made him to decide to start wearing his glasses for entertainment.

Ah Yeah, Straight Out of Nowhereness, Like a Fist, Can't Resist

On Sunday I did a very insane thing.

While visiting Alicia, we came to an agreement... no television during daylight hours (refresh my memory -- that is what we shook on, correct?).

Anyway, I kinda blew it already. I let the boys watch Dora while I made breakfast (the rule should be cartoons can be on until you've got a cup of coffee in your hands). I promptly turned it off when the show was over.

However, Griffin is sitting patiently on the couch, waiting for Mecca to be turned back on.


Sorry buddy. No television.

I would think that this would be my personal hell, but the house is wonderfully quiet, I don't feel like I'm loosing my mind and I'm oddly focused.

Perhaps this won't be a long, torturous month after all.

She Ain't Really Tryin' to Cause a Scene, it Just Comes Natur'lly (No the Girl Can't Help it)

Every weekend should be a three day weekend.


Friday night I went to the Santa-Cali-Gon Days... I really wish I could say I got lots of crafting inspiration. But I can't.

I can say that, apparently, if you paint "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" on anything that you think it's gonna sell. Also? "Babe, I done gotchew a cold beer" is a really popular saying.

Saturday's dinner was awesome. No one had any reaction from the gluten-free lasagna and the German chocolate cake came out pretty well (note to self: you don't have to use all the frosting you make).


The birthday boy.

Yesterday was spent doing yard work.


Ah, the branch...


... the fucking branch.


The fucking branch that has four different molds on it...


... and something that looks like coral.


Gratuitous Darwin shot.

I spent a few hours pulling weeds yesterday, and I really wish I had before and after shots -- but I don't. But I will say I now have a huge empty patch in one of the beds that needs to be filled. I'm thinking new irises and lilies.... but I'm not sure.

And we still have one more day of the weekend left... Aaron's off getting some car maintenance done and I was suppose to pull weeds when he gets home. But considering the massive allergy attack I'm experiencing, I'm hoping to sew the afternoon away...

I love three day weekends.

I Say Don't You Know, You Say You Don't Know, I Say.... TAKE ME OUT

Time to gear up for the weekend, and let me say I AM SO EXCITED. Three days to basically goof off? Awesome.

My parents are coming over tomorrow to celebrate my dad's birthday (his birthday is actually next weekend, but he's playing in a gold tournament out of town). We all use to go out to eat, but with all the food allergies I now make all the meals.

Which, you know, helps out the cookbook process quite a lot.

Anyway, Dad requested Italian (typical). And it's been forever since we've had lasagna -- the main problem is actually finding wheat-free ricotta cheese. Why does it need to made with vinegar?

(Here's where all the celiac know-it-alls leave me comments saying, "If it's distilled, it's gluten-free, a chemist told me so." And then that's when I say, "You forget I also have an authentic wheat allergy, which means I'm allergic to everything made from wheat even if it's distilled.")

Anyway, I did my highly scientific test to see if there was any residual gluten/wheat in the ricotta...


... I'm so scientific. The result? No rash! Let us have lasagna! So I'm gonna go make that here in the next half hour or so.

I'm also making my dad's favorite spinach salad (who knew I could get my dad to eat spinach?) and German chocolate cake for dessert (I even found gluten-free buttermilk for it. Awesome). Let's just hope everything turns out.

The reason why I'm making everything today is because this weekend is Santa-Cali-Gon Days and I'm going tomorrow morning BY MYSELF. I use to go every year when I was a kid, but I haven't been in five years. The last time I went I dragged Aaron with me and he was simply miserable. So I get to go BY MYSELF and look at the tents and tents and tents of crafters. I'm so excited (now, if I just had money to spend...).

Other than that, I've got yard work on the list of things to do. Lots and lots of yard work. Starting with cutting up that branch that fell in the middle of the yard last week, pulling a bunch of weeds and giving Aaron time to mow.

I also hope (because, you know, I already have quite the list going) to work on some of my works in progress...


... another embroidery (I plan on framing them) and...


... the big secret project that I'm not even a fourth of the way through completing. Why does everything take longer than I think it will?

Oh -- and do you what Aaron had the audacity to say to me last night? He complained that the brownies were "too cakey." I may or may not have called him a string of curse words under my breath.