Fighting the Battle of Who Could Care Less

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently:

1. Our insurance is incompetent
2. So is their phone system
3. Both boys have fevers
4. Darwin likes to be held when he has a fever
5. I'm batshit crazy due to 1, 2, 3 and 4

Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap

Today is scrub the house day! Because Goddess only knows why a three foot greasy spot appears in the dining room floor, but it is the signal for a good scrubbin'!

Seriously, there is nothing more glamorous than cleaning house. Why more people aren't stay at home moms with thousands of dollars in medical debt is beyond me.

And in order to seductively clean the toilets in remote peace, I've had to indulge the children in their Star Wars obsession.

On a side note... how fucking dumb are the storm troopers, anyway? C3PO is all, "I need to take this droid down to maintenance," and the storm trooper is all, "okay." Dude, does either of those robots look like they belong to the Republic? Hell to tha no. The have the plans to destroy the dreaded Death Star in them and you're just letting them go because they are droids? Puh. Leaze.

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during one of those job interviews...

Darth Sidious: So, Bobby, tell me a little something about yourself.
Bobby: Well, sir, I love to shoot laser guns. And I can guarantee that upon my death I can flamboyantly throw my pistol in the air, jump four feet up and land on my back in an attempt to prove how much I love the Republic.
Darth Sidious: Bobby, what do you think of my outfit?
Bobby: Well, sir, black is definitely your color. And the red mascara highlights the evil in your eyes.
Darth Sidious: You're hired, Bobby! You will now be referred to as Storm Trooper 34,892.
Storm Trooper 34,892: Thank you, sir!

And before anyone gets all up in my grill thinkin' that all the storm troopers are still clones of Jango Fett -- they are not. By Episode IV, they are members of the Republic raised in a generation to love and fear Chancellor Palpatine.

What? You didn't know I was a nerd?

Let the Good Times Roll

So, Darwin and I were at Whole Foods today and he was all in his happy baby mode, smiling and waving to everyone. I'm at the check-out lane, loading all the groceries on the conveyer belt and then this happens...

(Darwin's Internal Dialogue)

Hmmm... What's that on the shelf? Hiding behind those containers? Hmmm, I've never seen one of these before. Hmmm, smells like food. I'll take a bite. Oh, heavenly nectar of the gods, what is this? This is divine. This is the most delicious thing I have ever tasted in my life. Un-oh, better hide it from Money... oh, shit! She sees it! No! Don't take it! Argh! Get your finger out of my mouth! Waaaaaaaaahhhhh! Give it back! I don't give a flying fuck if I am allergic! What did you call it? A cookie? "COOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKEEEEEE!!!" I want it back! Get! Your! Fingers! Out! Of! My! Mouth! Fuck the oats! Fuck the wheat! Fuck the dairy! Fuck the eggs! I want that cookie back, bitch! Oh, what's this, this is interesting... you called it ice water? Ooooooohhhhh... ice water. This is nice too....

When the World Never Seems to be Livin' Up to Your Dreams

Why must the weekends fly by so quickly? Why must I be allergic to everything (including Sno-caps. Damn you Sno-caps!)

Anyway, our weekend started out like this...


And then we discovered this...


Aphids on the rose bushes. Fuckin' aphids.

So then we went and bought some of these...


Who then gobbled up the aphids...


... and liked me way too much...


Did you know ladybugs bite? And, yeah, it kinda hurts!

Then yesterday the front yard started out looking like this...


... and then looked like this...


... and finally this...


... and, yes, that took all damn day. And I'm sore.

Don't Start No Stuff When You're All Jacked Up

So I'm making dinner, and I decide to make Aaron stop and get tequila (and of course I did research on it to make sure tequila is gluten-free. Duh) and some frozen strawberries on his way so I can make margaritas. I printed off about ten recipes today and figured I can just make one my own (which is totally how I operate).

Anyway, Aaron come home and I mix up a batch before dinner is fully done. After two sips I STAB MYSELF IN MY HAND.


Aaron knows where this story is going and is laughing his ass off.

Anyway, half way into dinner Aaron looks at me and says, "You're all splochy."


Shit.

Turns out I'm allergic to something. Tequila? Maybe the Cointreau? Maybe a seasoning in dinner that was suppose to be gluten free?

Who fucking knows.


All I know is this much...


... fuck!

And that was a damn good margarita, too.

My Future's So Bright... I Gotta Wear Shades

Griffin "graduated" from Speech classes today.


Yes, I cried. I'm so proud of him.

He loves speech class. Of all his activities, it is his favorite. But, being the smart little whipper snapper he is, he caught on quickly and got all of his language skills caught up. He still doesn't sound perfect, but he's not suppose to (you're not suppose to have all your sounds until you are eight or nine).

I can't believe speech classes are over.

Sigh.

Yesterday I got No Crafting Done. Unless you count the over two hours it took me to make a new recipe for dinner.

Does that count?

Anyway, I've been hittin' it hard today...


I got out the supplies I purchased at the Creating Keepsakes Convention and I've been covering the little wood album with paper made by Sweetwater.


I love this paper, it is very pretty... but I'm getting REALLY PISSED OFF AT IT.

Perhaps the pissiness has something to do with the dyes bleeding when it gets wet with the modge podge. Or maybe it has something to do with it bubbling up when I seal it with the modge podge. In any case, it is making me mad.

But it sure is purty.

I'll post completed photos of the covering soon. I'm gonna use this mini-album to chronicle all my craft projects this year.

Ain't Nothing Gonna Break My Stride, Ain't Nothing Gonna Hold Me Down; Oh No, I've Got to Keep on Moving

The rain has stopped! But only for a moment. And super-cloudy days are The Best Days to Take Pictures...


The knockout roses in the front yard.


Do you see how much work I have to do? Cool the rain for a few days, Mother Nature!


The sage is flowering.


As is one miniature iris.


The peonies are considering flowering. But not yet.


Don't know what this is, it is really small and it's not coming back as full as it use to be (uh-oh).


The alliums are blooming. Every year the blooms are getting smaller. I'm thinking this has something to do with the fact that we don't fertilize the gardens. Hell, they're lucky if we water them a little in the droughts.


Heirloom rose. This damn plant is growing in the middle of a pathway. Drives. Me. Crazy.


Eh, same alliums, different angle (oh, goddess, the weeds. The weeds!).



Best. Picture. Of. The. Day.


Yeah, yeah, same alliums. That's all that is blooming right now.

So, last night after going to the chiropractor I stopped at a scrapbook store close by and picked up some stock...


This is what my normal stuff looks like -- loud, bright, playful.

Well, they are having a competition. And I got peer-pressured into participating...


What. The. Fuck. Was. I. Thinking?

Did I suffer from some brain damage from my seizures? Why, why, why did I buy the package and agree to do the competition? WHY? WHAT WAS I THINKING INTERNET? WHAT?

And don't tell me, "Stepping out of your norm is good for you, you'll expand your horizons and blah, blah, blah."

And, no, I haven't made anything yet today. But I have nine hours left. I'll make somethin', damn it.

Here Comes the Rain Again, Falling on My Head Like a Memory, Falling on My Head Like a New Emotion

Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day (on a day that we really need you and my yard is satisfactorily weeded).

All day I've been cleaning. Blah. I mopped, vacuumed and dusted. Then I vacuumed again because the boys spilled popcorn all over the floor.

I also cleaned out the medicine cabinet...


Aaron really doesn't like it when I do that ("It's like throwing money away, woman! I don't care if the medicine is expired by two years!").

I've also been working (key word: working, as in "not done yet") on organizing my scrapbook supplies. So far, I have one drawer completed...

I have another drawer and some shelves to go. Crap, why do I have so much?

And for anyone who knows me, they'll know this is A BIG FUCKING DEAL:


I. Took. The. Kitchen. Baby. Gates. Down. Run for your lives!

Actually, the boys are doing a pretty good job, considering this is the first day for them to be allowed free reign in the kitchen. I'm just so damn tired of jumping the gate all the time. Plus, it really opens up the space.

And for the creating part of the day...

I completed two Mother's Day cards last night and finished the other four today.

I'm not really all that happy with them, but they're alright (Griffin said his knight needed to be in the picture to make the cards less girly).

I also made some gluten-free brownies...


... don't be too impressed. They were out of a box.

Here's the observations:
1. These are definitely the best gluten-free prepackaged box mix I've tried.
2. But they are not good enough.

Number two is the story of my life. Why else would I be writing a cookbook?

(Which, by the way, the computer was ordered on Monday, and should be delivered between the 17th and 20th. Hopefully within three months I'll have a website with some sample pages to help me find a publisher. 'Cuz I have no clue how to do that. Cook? Yes. Find a publisher? Hell no.)

Might As Well Face It - - You're Addicted to Love

Ever have one of those days where you feel like your a chicken with your head cut off?

Oh, wait. Did I say day? I meant life.

Anyway, ran around all damn day. Got lots of errands ran. Even got to have a little annual visit with the OBGYN.

When I got home, Aaron mowed (finally, the rain is killin' me! And it's suppose to storm tonight and tomorrow. Oh, and my arms totally hurt from the freakin' shots yesterday AND my thighs still hurt from the four hours of deranged weeding I did Thursday) and the boys swept the driveway.


What a freakin' production.

I'm hoping to work in the garden tomorrow, but if we get any rain tonight or tomorrow it's not going to happen. It's barely dry enough to do anything, one more ounce of rain will likely wash everything away.

And for creating something today...


I started working on the Mother's Day cards. Oh good gawd, the Mother's Day cards. I need to make at least six, I wanted to make at eight. I had 14 cards to begin with. I have six with (barely) acceptable stamps on them. Argh! Oh well. Hopefully I can finish them up tonight, if not, tomorrow.

Hey, at least I created! I never promised a completed project everyday.

Oh, and speaking of Mother's Day... I've been on ebay the past few days bidding/ordering my gifts (yes, as in gifts for me, because Aaron said I had to buy my own gifts). Pppffffttttt.

The Itchy and Scratchy Shooooooooooowwww!

Urgh.

So the boys and I had appointments with the allergist today. He has been pushing all three of us to get some shot thing (like the flu shot, but not the flu shot) because we have really low natural antibodies. After lots of debating, Aaron and I decided that I would be the guinea pig and get the shot today and depending on how I do after a couple of months then maybe we'll get the boys done.

Well, guess what happened... oh yeah.

I had an allergic reaction to a shot the allergist gave me.


Really, should I be surprised? I had to hang out at the office for over an hour, take some meds there (including this anti-itch spray which was both tingly and sticky).

They let me come home, where I was instructed to take more allergy meds (done), some advil (done), asthma medicine (done) and a double-dose of benadryl when I got to bed and two steroid pills.

Good gravy.

"You know what the worst part of the itching is, Aaron?"

:: blank stare ::

"My girly bits itch..."

:: muffled laughing ::

"... as does my ass crack."

"Oh, now, that's hilarious."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a more happy light, before this big fiasco happened, I took Katurah's advice and drew on some shirts with sharpies...


Griffin nearly passed out from the joy.

So, I've decided that for the month of May, I'm going to try to create something every single day.

Ha! Let's see how long that lasts...