Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Heart Keeps Beating Like a Hammer

I'm leaving tomorrow, headed to Chicago for the BlogHer conference and all the important things in life are baring down on me.

Like, should I wear a wireless bra to go through security at the airport?

I ask because last year sister had her hands down my pants during my pat down. Because, you know, to keep my ladies up and perky, Mommy requires quite a bit of metal reinforcement. And apparently the security guard took this as an open invitation to discuss panty styles and fabrics. She liked lace thongs. I like cotton hipsters.

She complemented me on my hipsters.

Of course, I should have thought this was odd. But me? Noooooo. I laughed. Out loud. A lot.

It's what I do in the most inappropriate of times. Laugh.

It wasn't until I was in California last year when I realized security guards should not be putting their hands down your pants.


So now I'm all aflutter - should I go into the airport with saggy boobs in a wireless bra in hopes of not being patted down again? Can I take my properly boobie-holder-upper bra in my carry-on luggage and put it on after security? Will the bra flag them as something odd and would they then rifle through my bag and pull out crazy contraption of a girl holder and display it in front of everyone there?

Help me, I don't know what to do about my boobies.


Anonymous said...

I don't think that underwires set off the metal detector since I always wear them. But you remind me of when I got my IUD, which is copper ... I actually asked my gynecologist if it would set off metal detectors, because I really didn't want a strip search for that one. He found me very amusing.

Anonymous said...

Agreed - I'm never without underwires, and I've never set off the alarm!

Keyona said...

Underwire will make your boobs happy. Let them feel you up. That just means they think you're hot.

beki said...

Huh? I always wear underwire and have never had THAT happen.

PamKittyMorning said...

Oh yeah, never had that happen. What the heck?

Alicia A. said...

Well, being a bear of very little boob, I don't know what to tell you about the bra.


Shannon said...

I fly a lot since my husband took a job that has us living overseas. I have occasionally had an underwire set off alarms but not often. Once I had it set off alarms in Bangkok but not in 3 other airports on the same trip. Takes a lot of plane changes and layovers to get from Jakarta to Texas!

francie said...

I just flew last week and the underwire did not set off the alarms either coming or going.

kristi said...

I'm no help either, having no experience with hard-to-manage boobies. But this is a hilarious post.

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