After letting everyone cool off for a couple of hours yesterday, I talked to Griffin about what happened at school.
According to him, he came back from reading class and the boy that sits next to him was playing with his pencil. Griffin asked for it back. The boy wouldn't give it back. Griffin raised his hand to tell the teacher. The teacher never called on him and his arm got tired. He took the pencil out of the boy's hand. The boy laughed. Griffin drew on the boy's arm. The boy laughed some more. Griffin drew on the boy's forehead. The boy thought that was very funny. The teacher yelled at Griffin and sent him to the "safety seat."
Now, Griffin's story and the teacher's story is worlds apart. And given that Griffin was able to tell Aaron the exact same story more than five hours after he told me... well, I think you can guess who I (and Aaron) believe.
Now, regardless if it went down like Griffin claims -- he still should have never drawn on the boy's face. We. Do. Not. Touch. Faces. In. This. Family. Griffin will not get television privileges for a week.
Last night Aaron sat down and wrote an email to Griffin's teacher. This is the second time she's sent him to the safe seat, tore me a new one over it and didn't sent home the form for what he did (which, I do believe, is school policy).
How he managed to write an email without calling her a dimwitted fucktard is way beyond for me to comprehend.
Obviously, this isn't over yet.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Friday, November 09, 2007
That Was My Mistake
Griffin took it upon himself to act as a vigilante at school today and nearly stabbed another child's eye out.
Given our history with an eye accident, I have no fucking clue what to do. I sent it him to his room (because I firmly do not believe in spankings, and I'm actually afraid I'd beat the shit out of him right now if I did) for the day. He'll stay there until Aaron gets home from work.
I feel like an utter and complete failure as a parent.
And I cannot, for the life of me, comprehend what an appropriate punishment would be for this. He's five. Five. Fucking five years old and trying to stab someone's eye out because they stole his pencil.
Given our history with an eye accident, I have no fucking clue what to do. I sent it him to his room (because I firmly do not believe in spankings, and I'm actually afraid I'd beat the shit out of him right now if I did) for the day. He'll stay there until Aaron gets home from work.
I feel like an utter and complete failure as a parent.
And I cannot, for the life of me, comprehend what an appropriate punishment would be for this. He's five. Five. Fucking five years old and trying to stab someone's eye out because they stole his pencil.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Maybe She's Just Looking for Someone to Dance With
::kiss, kiss, kiss::
"Woman, you need to get off me."
::kiss, kiss, kiss:
"Why you're being so affectionate?"
::kiss:: "I'm always affectionate." ::kiss, kiss, kiss::
"True. But you're particularly bad today."
::kiss, kiss, kiss::
"Oh, I know why. You released an egg."
::kiss, kiss, kiss:: "You act like that's a bad thing." ::kiss, kiss::
"Well, taking advantage of your hormones wouldn't be a bad thing. But actually fertilizing that egg would be quite horrible."
::kiss, kiss:: "Love you too." ::kiss, kiss, kiss::
"Woman, you need to get off me."
::kiss, kiss, kiss:
"Why you're being so affectionate?"
::kiss:: "I'm always affectionate." ::kiss, kiss, kiss::
"True. But you're particularly bad today."
::kiss, kiss, kiss::
"Oh, I know why. You released an egg."
::kiss, kiss, kiss:: "You act like that's a bad thing." ::kiss, kiss::
"Well, taking advantage of your hormones wouldn't be a bad thing. But actually fertilizing that egg would be quite horrible."
::kiss, kiss:: "Love you too." ::kiss, kiss, kiss::
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Doctor, Doctor, Can't You See I'm Burnin', Burnin'?
So the wonderful Mary tagged me for a seven things about me meme. Since I have a call into two different doctors' offices, I thought this would make a nice topic.
Seven Medical Oddities concerning me.
1. From birth till about five I was constantly sick. My dad thought I was going to die more times than he can recall. I ran fevers over 106 and I'm absolutely convinced that's what made me both crazy and a nerd.
2. When I was 12 my dad rushed me to the hospital because my abdomen hurt so bad. The doctors told me dad I was pregnant. I told my dad I must be carrying the next sweet baby Jesus, because that wasn't possible. Two days later doctors figured out I was really, really constipated.
3. When I was 17 I was stopped at a red light with a friend in the car. In the rear view mirror, I saw the car behind me getting rear ended. So I threw my arm in front of my friend to brace her and with my other arm I braced myself on the steering wheel. By doing that, I caused my spine to get majorly fucked up and caused it to curve wrong in my neck. It took two years of going to the chiropractor before I was considered "normal" again.
4. When I was 19 I kept getting sick and rushed to the ER whenever I ate cheesecake. Two years, multiple doctors and a full body scan later, they discovered I had an ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit. Six months later I was diagnosed with poly-cystic ovaries (PCOS), and have been on medication ever since.
5. Being diagnosed with PCOS still didn't cause all my problems. I still had serious problems with my stomach so I began seeing an alternative doctor. Multiple tests later I was diagnosed with an allergy to yeast (bye, bye bread) and Wilson's Syndrome, a thyroid disorder that causes your body not to convert your thyroid enzymes properly.
6. That helped, but I still had numerous stomach problems. So my regular doctor decided to do a stomach scope and everything was "normal" but he found "funny, odd ulcers" in my intestines. So I could have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease at 21 but wasn't. Instead, they gave me anti-acid medicines.
7. When I was 27 I woke up one morning with the inability to move the left side of my body. Aaron took me to the doctor, who said I likely had a stroke and sent me to the ER. The doctors at the ER said I had a brain aneurysm that was unfindable in the tests and I would likely die in a few months. The next day I went back to the chiropractor and they said I was subluxated and adjusted me. As long as I stay in alignment, I'm fine. (Thanks, car accident.)
8. When Darwin was 13 months old we did a full allergy panel on him. Based on the fact he's allergic to every damn thing in the world, we decided I would get a blood allergy panel as well. At 28, I was diagnosed with an allergy to wheat and Celiac Disease.
Whew.
And people wonder why, with my myriad of medical problems, I get sick easily.
I'm defective. That's why.
Seven Medical Oddities concerning me.
1. From birth till about five I was constantly sick. My dad thought I was going to die more times than he can recall. I ran fevers over 106 and I'm absolutely convinced that's what made me both crazy and a nerd.
2. When I was 12 my dad rushed me to the hospital because my abdomen hurt so bad. The doctors told me dad I was pregnant. I told my dad I must be carrying the next sweet baby Jesus, because that wasn't possible. Two days later doctors figured out I was really, really constipated.
3. When I was 17 I was stopped at a red light with a friend in the car. In the rear view mirror, I saw the car behind me getting rear ended. So I threw my arm in front of my friend to brace her and with my other arm I braced myself on the steering wheel. By doing that, I caused my spine to get majorly fucked up and caused it to curve wrong in my neck. It took two years of going to the chiropractor before I was considered "normal" again.
4. When I was 19 I kept getting sick and rushed to the ER whenever I ate cheesecake. Two years, multiple doctors and a full body scan later, they discovered I had an ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit. Six months later I was diagnosed with poly-cystic ovaries (PCOS), and have been on medication ever since.
5. Being diagnosed with PCOS still didn't cause all my problems. I still had serious problems with my stomach so I began seeing an alternative doctor. Multiple tests later I was diagnosed with an allergy to yeast (bye, bye bread) and Wilson's Syndrome, a thyroid disorder that causes your body not to convert your thyroid enzymes properly.
6. That helped, but I still had numerous stomach problems. So my regular doctor decided to do a stomach scope and everything was "normal" but he found "funny, odd ulcers" in my intestines. So I could have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease at 21 but wasn't. Instead, they gave me anti-acid medicines.
7. When I was 27 I woke up one morning with the inability to move the left side of my body. Aaron took me to the doctor, who said I likely had a stroke and sent me to the ER. The doctors at the ER said I had a brain aneurysm that was unfindable in the tests and I would likely die in a few months. The next day I went back to the chiropractor and they said I was subluxated and adjusted me. As long as I stay in alignment, I'm fine. (Thanks, car accident.)
8. When Darwin was 13 months old we did a full allergy panel on him. Based on the fact he's allergic to every damn thing in the world, we decided I would get a blood allergy panel as well. At 28, I was diagnosed with an allergy to wheat and Celiac Disease.
Whew.
And people wonder why, with my myriad of medical problems, I get sick easily.
I'm defective. That's why.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
How the Home Computer Has Me on the Run
At six o'clock this morning (fuck, that's early), my computer decided to throw a temper tantrum rivaling all two-year-olds' hissy fits in the destruction of my psyche.
Basically, the little bitch (yes, my computer is a girl) (a teen-aged, hormonal one that winces at the notion of being seen with me in public) decided no! It wasn't working.
After half an hour of bitching (and Aaron telling me to stop cursing at the damn computer) (pot calling the kettle black), I went to the basement to spread my verbal wrath on the modem and wireless router.
Hehehehehehe, I said router.
::blink, blink:: Wait. Was that funny?
Anyway, three hours later and I was about ready to pull my fucking hair out because hello, that shit is Aaron's responsibility. So I called him and he gave me a seven page list of Shit To Check Before Crying To Him About It and all I could think of was my obligation to NaBloPoMo and fuck, was I going to have to figure out how to post from the library? Because you all better believe that I would still uphold my obligation to NaBloPoMo from the grave if that's what it took.
Unless, of course, "from the grave" included unlimited amounts of chocolate-chocolate cupcakes and Legos and in that case? Fuck you all, that's one hell of a party right there.
Anyway, imagine my surprise when the shit that Aaron told me to do actually worked.
Amazing, right? That a man could be correct for once?
Basically, the little bitch (yes, my computer is a girl) (a teen-aged, hormonal one that winces at the notion of being seen with me in public) decided no! It wasn't working.
After half an hour of bitching (and Aaron telling me to stop cursing at the damn computer) (pot calling the kettle black), I went to the basement to spread my verbal wrath on the modem and wireless router.
Hehehehehehe, I said router.
::blink, blink:: Wait. Was that funny?
Anyway, three hours later and I was about ready to pull my fucking hair out because hello, that shit is Aaron's responsibility. So I called him and he gave me a seven page list of Shit To Check Before Crying To Him About It and all I could think of was my obligation to NaBloPoMo and fuck, was I going to have to figure out how to post from the library? Because you all better believe that I would still uphold my obligation to NaBloPoMo from the grave if that's what it took.
Unless, of course, "from the grave" included unlimited amounts of chocolate-chocolate cupcakes and Legos and in that case? Fuck you all, that's one hell of a party right there.
Anyway, imagine my surprise when the shit that Aaron told me to do actually worked.
Amazing, right? That a man could be correct for once?
Monday, November 05, 2007
A Golden Bird That Flies Away, A Candle's Fickle Flame
I'm completely fucking out of my mind.
For some reason, I decided a month ago it would be a good idea to purchase some spring bulbs on a whim.
Good ideas on a whim are never actually good ideas.
So yesterday I had to act on that supposed good idea and plant 50 daffodils and 60 grape hyacinths yesterday. Which, of course, also required me taking the children with me (by. my. self. oh. my hell.) to the garden center to purchase ten 40-pound bags of top soil, load it onto a cart and into the van (again, with the By. My. Self. Ness. Oh. My. Hell.). Aaron lugged it to the backyard for me (yes, sometimes he can be Very Useful) (barely) but he just dumped it in the middle of the patio. Then I had to distribute said 400 pounds of soil in the garden bed (wash away is a bitch) and then move 120 gallons of leaves from other areas in the yard to cover the freshly planted bed.
For that much work, it should look like a fucking Monet. Instead it looks like messy autumn leaves.
Other pictures from the garden:
The "triangle" where all the motherfucking echinacea grow. I really fucking hate echinacea, but the birds love to eat the seeds in the winter, and that happens just outside the eating area's window, where of course all the boys like to watch the fucking birds all winter so I? Have to let it continue to grow.
Supposedly.
Just so everyone knows: no. Roses do not grow tomatoes. It's called rosehips. And I'm deathly allergic. But it's kinda sorta pretty. And I get to make fun of people who gasp and ask, "how'd you get your roses to grow tomatoes?!"
And the "island." The island that won't grow shit because it's too shaded. I got a few zinnias to sprout so I need to research the Zinnia God/Goddess so I can do proper sacrifices and worship said God/Goddess all winter in hopes of better productivity next year.
Gardening's a bitch.
For some reason, I decided a month ago it would be a good idea to purchase some spring bulbs on a whim.
Good ideas on a whim are never actually good ideas.
So yesterday I had to act on that supposed good idea and plant 50 daffodils and 60 grape hyacinths yesterday. Which, of course, also required me taking the children with me (by. my. self. oh. my hell.) to the garden center to purchase ten 40-pound bags of top soil, load it onto a cart and into the van (again, with the By. My. Self. Ness. Oh. My. Hell.). Aaron lugged it to the backyard for me (yes, sometimes he can be Very Useful) (barely) but he just dumped it in the middle of the patio. Then I had to distribute said 400 pounds of soil in the garden bed (wash away is a bitch) and then move 120 gallons of leaves from other areas in the yard to cover the freshly planted bed.
For that much work, it should look like a fucking Monet. Instead it looks like messy autumn leaves.
Other pictures from the garden:
The "triangle" where all the motherfucking echinacea grow. I really fucking hate echinacea, but the birds love to eat the seeds in the winter, and that happens just outside the eating area's window, where of course all the boys like to watch the fucking birds all winter so I? Have to let it continue to grow.
Supposedly.
Just so everyone knows: no. Roses do not grow tomatoes. It's called rosehips. And I'm deathly allergic. But it's kinda sorta pretty. And I get to make fun of people who gasp and ask, "how'd you get your roses to grow tomatoes?!"
And the "island." The island that won't grow shit because it's too shaded. I got a few zinnias to sprout so I need to research the Zinnia God/Goddess so I can do proper sacrifices and worship said God/Goddess all winter in hopes of better productivity next year.
Gardening's a bitch.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Aaahh, Freak Out!
Sunday post? Sunday and Saturday post? What the fuck?
View my profile on NaBloPoMo
Yeah. That's what the fuck. I succumb to peer pressure way too easily.
View my profile on NaBloPoMo
Yeah. That's what the fuck. I succumb to peer pressure way too easily.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Giving Me the Courage and the Strength I Need
"Crap."
"What?"
"Do you realize we've been together for 11 years today?"
"Hmmm... first Saturday of November. Married for seven years in September. Yep. Our seven-eleven anniversary."
"Eleven years. Crap."
"Eleven years of dealing with your crazy."
"Eleven years of dealing with your hording issues."
"It's not like you deserve a medal for that, Laura."
"Oh, I know. I DESERVE A FUCKING FIVE FOOT TROPHY."
"What?"
"Do you realize we've been together for 11 years today?"
"Hmmm... first Saturday of November. Married for seven years in September. Yep. Our seven-eleven anniversary."
"Eleven years. Crap."
"Eleven years of dealing with your crazy."
"Eleven years of dealing with your hording issues."
"It's not like you deserve a medal for that, Laura."
"Oh, I know. I DESERVE A FUCKING FIVE FOOT TROPHY."
Friday, November 02, 2007
And We Began to Rock Steady, Steady Rockin' All Night Long
By now, you all should know the game. If you don't, feel free to read about my super awesome wittiness. Or obsessive compulsive problems. Tomaetoe, tomahtah.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Cuz We're Gonna Boogie Oogie Oogie 'till You Just Can't Boogie No More
A Taste of Honey, "Boogie Oogie Oogie" A Taste of Honey (1978)
Monday, October 01, 2007
They Don't Know Where and They Don't Know When
Arcade Fire, "Keep the Car Running" Neon Bible (2007)
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
When You're All Argumentative
Arctic Monkeys, "Mardy Bum" Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006)
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Because You Have to Make This Life Liveable
Depeche Mode, "Strangelove" Music for the Masses (1987)
Friday, October 05, 2007
So I'm Just Kicking it, I'm Counting the Days, I Hardly Can Wait for Us to Hang Out
No Doubt, "Making Out" Rock Steady (2001)
Monday, October 08, 2007
Oh My Darling, Will You be Here Before I Sputter Out?
Eels, "Novocaine for the Soul" Beautiful Freak (1996)
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
The Mist Across the Window Hides the Lines, But Nothing Hides the Color of the Lights That Shines
Joe Jackson, "Stepping Out" Night and Day (1982)
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Shining Like a Work of Art
Guster, "Satellite" Ganging Up On The Sun (2006)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
She Doesn't Like to Choose
The Cars, "Let's Go" Candy-0 (1979)
Monday, October 15, 2007
We All Need the Clowns to Make Us Smile
Journey, "Faithfully" Frontiers (1983)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
And I've Been Waiting Such a Long Time for Today
Chicago, "Saturday in the Park" Chicago V (1972)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
It's Been a Long Day, Always, Ain't That Right?
Matchbox Twenty, "Long Day" Yourself Or Someone Like You (1996)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I Know I've Started to Think
Gary Numan, "Cars" The Pleasure Principle (1979)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Everytime You Go Away, You Take a Piece of Me With You
Paul Young, "Everytime You Go Away" The Secret of Association (1985)
Monday, October 22, 2007
Ah Ooooh, Got You Where I Want You (Yeah)
The Flys, "Got You Where I Want You" Disturbing Behavior Soundtrack (1998)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
No Need to Whine Boy, Like a Wind Up Toy You Stutter at My Feet
Elastica, "Stutter" Elastica (1993)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Celebrate Good Times, Come On!
Kool & The Gang, "Celebration" Celebrate! (1980)
Friday, October 26, 2007
I'd Love to be the One to Disappoint You When I Don't Fall Down
Limp Bizkit, "Re-Arranged" Significant Other (1999)
Monday, October 29, 2007
Make-a One Man Weep, Make Another Man Sing
Huey Lewis & The News, "Power of Love" Back to the Future Soundtrack (1985)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
And I Don't Know No Cool Lines
John Mellencamp, "Ain't Even Done With The Night" Nothin' Matters and What If It Did (1980)
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I Saw a Werewolf Drinking a Pina Colada
Warren Zevon, "Werewolves of London" Excitable Boy (1978)
Monday, October 01, 2007
Cuz We're Gonna Boogie Oogie Oogie 'till You Just Can't Boogie No More
A Taste of Honey, "Boogie Oogie Oogie" A Taste of Honey (1978)
Monday, October 01, 2007
They Don't Know Where and They Don't Know When
Arcade Fire, "Keep the Car Running" Neon Bible (2007)
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
When You're All Argumentative
Arctic Monkeys, "Mardy Bum" Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006)
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Because You Have to Make This Life Liveable
Depeche Mode, "Strangelove" Music for the Masses (1987)
Friday, October 05, 2007
So I'm Just Kicking it, I'm Counting the Days, I Hardly Can Wait for Us to Hang Out
No Doubt, "Making Out" Rock Steady (2001)
Monday, October 08, 2007
Oh My Darling, Will You be Here Before I Sputter Out?
Eels, "Novocaine for the Soul" Beautiful Freak (1996)
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
The Mist Across the Window Hides the Lines, But Nothing Hides the Color of the Lights That Shines
Joe Jackson, "Stepping Out" Night and Day (1982)
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Shining Like a Work of Art
Guster, "Satellite" Ganging Up On The Sun (2006)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
She Doesn't Like to Choose
The Cars, "Let's Go" Candy-0 (1979)
Monday, October 15, 2007
We All Need the Clowns to Make Us Smile
Journey, "Faithfully" Frontiers (1983)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
And I've Been Waiting Such a Long Time for Today
Chicago, "Saturday in the Park" Chicago V (1972)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
It's Been a Long Day, Always, Ain't That Right?
Matchbox Twenty, "Long Day" Yourself Or Someone Like You (1996)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I Know I've Started to Think
Gary Numan, "Cars" The Pleasure Principle (1979)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Everytime You Go Away, You Take a Piece of Me With You
Paul Young, "Everytime You Go Away" The Secret of Association (1985)
Monday, October 22, 2007
Ah Ooooh, Got You Where I Want You (Yeah)
The Flys, "Got You Where I Want You" Disturbing Behavior Soundtrack (1998)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
No Need to Whine Boy, Like a Wind Up Toy You Stutter at My Feet
Elastica, "Stutter" Elastica (1993)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Celebrate Good Times, Come On!
Kool & The Gang, "Celebration" Celebrate! (1980)
Friday, October 26, 2007
I'd Love to be the One to Disappoint You When I Don't Fall Down
Limp Bizkit, "Re-Arranged" Significant Other (1999)
Monday, October 29, 2007
Make-a One Man Weep, Make Another Man Sing
Huey Lewis & The News, "Power of Love" Back to the Future Soundtrack (1985)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
And I Don't Know No Cool Lines
John Mellencamp, "Ain't Even Done With The Night" Nothin' Matters and What If It Did (1980)
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I Saw a Werewolf Drinking a Pina Colada
Warren Zevon, "Werewolves of London" Excitable Boy (1978)
Thursday, November 01, 2007
They Did the Mash, They Did the Monster Mash
Parties were... well, partied.
Goodie bags were made. (Yeah, for the whole fucking two kids that came. Two. Two. It's enough to make me cry.)
Tricks and treats were had. Well, treats only.
Griffin's pumpkin was carved.
As was Darwin's.
And in case there was any confusion about my favorite candy to give out...
What can I say? I must spread the love.
Goodie bags were made. (Yeah, for the whole fucking two kids that came. Two. Two. It's enough to make me cry.)
Tricks and treats were had. Well, treats only.
Griffin's pumpkin was carved.
As was Darwin's.
And in case there was any confusion about my favorite candy to give out...
What can I say? I must spread the love.
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