Might Have Known What You Would Find

During dinner...

"Darwin, are you pooping?"

::Grunting::

"Darwin? Are you you pooping?"

::Grunting and turning red::

"Darwin? What you're doing right now? That's called GOING POOP."

::Sigh, silence:: "Pooooooooooooop!"

"Congratulations."

"Big poop! Big poop! BIIIIIIIIIIGGGG POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPP!"

"Where?"

"In my diaper! Big poop! Big Poop! In my diaper, big poop!"

"Yeah, maybe you'll start using the potty now."

"Run! Run! Run everybody! Poop in my diaper! Run! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! BIG POOP IN MY DIAPER!"

Some Postman is Grooving to All Our Love Letters

Before I announce the winner of my give away, isn't this pretty?


It's three meters of vintage Liberty fabric celebrating Suzie Sews' 100th post. Isn't it luscious? Puuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrr.

Okay, now to my give away.

I found a random number generator (because, you know, I have to do this in the laziest and nerdiest way possible) and entered had it pick one number from 1 - 39 (because I shamelessly left a comment begging Diana for some irises, so my comment doesn't count as a number) and the generator picked...


... number 16 who ended up being Lera!

Thank you, everyone, for reading and commenting!

I Would Walk Five Hundred Miles and I Would Walk Five Hundred More

Today is my 500th post.

::blink, blink::

Holy shit, that's a lot.

Summer is kicking my ass, so I'm not going to to a gushy-gushy here's all the stuff I've learned from doing this post. I'll save that for when I reach my two-year anniversary in August. Maybe. Did I mention summer is kicking my ass?

So, how about a give away instead?

Anyone fancy a give away?


I've got two thrifted... cups? Is that a good descriptive word for them? Tea cups? Beverage holders that certainly are not mugs? How's that?

Anyway, I've got two of those, a sweet little zippered pouch and three button magnets.


Rules... rules... rules... oh please, I've never been one to care for rules all that much. Leave a comment (hey, that's a pretty good rule)... I'll do a drawing on Monday morning. Oh! And you have to be willing to email me with your postal address. Yeah, that's enough rules.

Did I mention summer is kicking my ass? It's wiping the floor with it too.

Like Disco Lemonade

While we were at the craft store today, Darwin noticed some Finding Nemo fabric. Which he threw a hissy fit insisted he get.

Then Griffin found some Star Wars fabric that he had to have too.

"Why do you have to have it, Griffin?"

"Because I need it."

"Whatcha gonna do with it?"

"I don't know yet."

"So then why do you need it?"

"It's for my stash."

Ahem. Spoken like a true fabric junkie.


I will not comment about my reason being at the craft store having anything to do with finding more buttons. Or buying more magnets. Furthermore, I will not comment about whether or not I purchased all the magnets in the size I like and inquired when they would get more in.

She Pretended Not to Notice She Was Caught Up in the Race

You know, if one person in this damn house gets sick you're guaranteed at least one more person is going to get it. But it is the same? Oh, hell to the no. It has to be different. Like exploding diarrhea. Where you're chasing a three year old around the house screaming leaky diaper! leaky diaper! must change the diaper! and does that three year old listen?

NO. He giggles instead.

And then you're forced to clean up piddles all over the floor and then people wonder why you don't have a dog and you're wondering why in the fuck you haven't pulled up all the carpet already to expose hardwood floors because in situations such as these, who really gives a fuck if the hardwoods aren't perfect? They are hardwood floors and not piddled-stained carpet that requires foamy chemicals to get clean instead of a damn damp cloth.

::clearing throat::

Anyway. Yesterday I decided I had to do something. You know what something is, right? That feeling of making something that is nearly instantaneous but functional and pretty because there's got to be something good in this miserable life of having your home smell like poo.

Right? Right.

So I got out my hot glue gun (actually, I had to buy a new one because I couldn't find my other ones; I swear, my house feeds on hot glue guns) and some magnets and dumped out my jar of miscellaneous buttons.


Whew. Isn't that better?

I mean, it's not as great as not wiping a poopy butt 83 times in a day but hey, it's something, right?

She's an Easy Lover, She'll Get a Hold on You Believe it, Like No Other, Before You Know it You'll be on Your Knees

I spent the entire weekend sleeping. With intermittent puking.

There's something about being sick that makes me want to constantly have sex.

"Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxx. Lllllllaaaaaaassaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddd. Oooooooorrrrrrrgggggaaassssssssmmmmm."

Of course, Aaron never wants to oblige. He's all ewwww, you're sick, noooooooo. Which really? Is quite rude. I mean, after all, it is his Husbandly Duty to, you know, do that.

And besides, the rush of adrenaline makes me feel better.

Of course, he claims it's the germs taking hold of me and trying to infest him. Which? Pshaw, as if I care about that.

Summer, Summer, Summertime (Ooooh, Summertime) Time to Sit Back and Unwind

Hey, remember when I planted 200 zinnia seeds on the side bed of my house? Remember?

Wanna see what it looks like now?


Hey! Where's my fucking zinnias? Oh, wait... one... two... three... THREE?! Three? That's all I got? Three motherfucking zinnias and an assload of weedy grass?

Well, let's see the back garden where I planted 150 zinnia seeds back there...


What. The. Fuck? None? Zero? Zilch.

I guess I shouldn't complain as much, since I don't have to weed it either. But holy shit, this sucks some major donkey balls.

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"Hey, Mommy?"

"Yes, Griffin?"

"Daddy is the Golden Parent.... and you're the Mud Parent."

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When Aaron was on his big ass three week business trip, I made him go to the Lego store. Yes, made him. Everyday I was hounding him, "Did you go today? Why didn't you go today? You're not coming home without Legos and no, Legos from any old store will not do."

So, on the day before coming home he finally went to the Lego store to get us presents.

For the boys...


... an airplane (six dollars! SIX DOLLARS!) and a dragon (a buck fiftty! ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS!).

And for me...


... a magnetic notepad, Lego magnets and two pull-them-apart-tools (to help you pull stuck tiny Legos apart).

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I have been diligently working on hand-quilting my pillow top. I now totally understand why the people at the quilt store freaked out. It is taking forever. But I am really enjoying it, even though I'm not making as much progress as I'd like.

Turns out I don't sit on my ass all that much anymore.


It took a while to figure out stitching technique, so there's a wide variety of stitch lengths and what-not.


But I finally found my groove.

I seriously doubt that I'm even half-way done with my quilting. Gah. I really thought this would be an easy-peasy project.

Careless in Our Summer Clothes, Splashing Around in the Muck and the Mire

What's that saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions?


Yesterday we intended on taking the boys to see the fireworks. For the first time ever.


And I intended on barbequeing a huge meal.


But Mother Nature had a completely different idea.


Gah.


So we rolled with it.


Which? I'm actually not so good with that.


But the boys had a blast.


Of course, it cleared up to a beautiful, cool evening. And the children completely passed out before we could even discuss seeing the fireworks.

Oh well. Next year, perhaps.

I Wish Uncle Sam Would Give a Damn About the Man Who's Collar's Blue

On this July 4th, I thought I would try to find something nice to say about my country, find some reason why I should be proud to be an American given how our government has been behaving the past few years.

So... um... hem... ::drumming fingers:: um... yeah... give me a moment... I'm thinking... um... um... think, Laura, think.... um... um... um...

I heart Obama.

And I'm really looking forward to elections next year.

And we should impeach Bush.

And I Could Purge My Soul Perhaps for the Imminent Collapse

I need a nap.

Whew, I'm exhausted.

Birthday party: good.


Gluten-free vanilla cupcakes with vanilla buttercream: awesome.

Additionally three pounds: not-so-awesome.

Visit with the in-laws: amazingly enjoyable.

Having Aaron home: TOTALLY ROCKS.

Not getting breakfast in bed: SUCKS ASS.

Finally having the full-fledge party for Darwin's birthday: great.


Having a tent in our living room now: meh.