Conversation with Griffin

"Mommy, you say 'Knock, knock' I say 'Who's there'"

"Huh?"

"You say 'Knock, knock' I say 'Who's there'"

"Okay. Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Uh.... uh... banana."

"Nana who?"

"Knock, knock."

"Mommy!"

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Nana who?"

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Orange."

"Orange who?"

"Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'?"

"I no get it. You not good at dis."

New Obsession

It's suppose to be for making hot chocolate. But with its perfect curls and bittersweet goodness, I can't keep my hands out of the jar.

This? Is going to add up to trouble.

Question

Why is it that the baby cries and fights when I put his coat on, and then cries and fights again when I try to take it off?

Because He's "Witty"

Aaron's parents are in town, visiting from Michigan (and having a fabulous time, I suppose).

Lately, Griffin has found himself to be quite comical by farting on everyone within the immediate family -- me, Aaron and Darwin.

So today, he decided to induct his Grandma into the joys of being an immediate family member.

Except, well...

... Griffin misjudged and actually pooped his pants on her.

Oh no. I don't find it funny. Not at all...

Observation

Tinkerbell is one catty bitch.

Chipotle

I had to drag the kids out with me tonight so I could pick up some dinner for myself (damn that business trip). I was standing in line with 32 pound Darwin on my left hip and 43 pound Griffin lodged up under my right arm so he could watch. And then guy next me had the audacity to say, "You do realize you are just flaunting your fertility around, don't you?"

"If being a disheveled, bat-shit crazy, frazzled haired woman with two kids is 'flaunting my fertility,' then sweetheart, I've been flaunting my fertility all around town.

Uh-oh

My dad just did something absolutely horrible... he's enabling me to be a horrible parent.

See?

Question

Do you think Griffin is took out some aggression on me when he peed his underpants and made a soggy spot in the carpet that is SO WET a goldfish could live there?

Or was it his freakish three-year old way of telling me he wanted a bath?

Personally, I blame Aaron. Fucking business trip.

Apparently, Its All My Fault Our Children Are Defective

Today I took Darwin to a new allergist, who was highly recommended by our allergist. Our "regular" allergist has been stumped because Darwin is allergic to over 200 foods. So he thought D should see if any one else could shine some light on his condition.

Apparently, all the "new" allergist could say was that D's medical condition was All My Fault and that he's not authentically allergic to food because, seriously? Who gives a fuck if he breaks out in a rash and scratches until he bleeds and looks like a burn victim. That's not really a food allergy. That's a skin problem.

Asshole.

Good News For People Who Like Good News (Oh Shit, I Better Have Not Just Jinxed Myself)

Darwin's left eye has been kinda open the past few days.

Looks like he's starting to heal from his accident (posted October 5th).

Oh, what's all over his face? Potatoes. Organic Potatoes. Mmmm...