Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Doctor, Doctor, Can't You See I'm Burnin', Burnin'?

So the wonderful Mary tagged me for a seven things about me meme. Since I have a call into two different doctors' offices, I thought this would make a nice topic.

Seven Medical Oddities concerning me.


1. From birth till about five I was constantly sick. My dad thought I was going to die more times than he can recall. I ran fevers over 106 and I'm absolutely convinced that's what made me both crazy and a nerd.

2. When I was 12 my dad rushed me to the hospital because my abdomen hurt so bad. The doctors told me dad I was pregnant. I told my dad I must be carrying the next sweet baby Jesus, because that wasn't possible. Two days later doctors figured out I was really, really constipated.

3. When I was 17 I was stopped at a red light with a friend in the car. In the rear view mirror, I saw the car behind me getting rear ended. So I threw my arm in front of my friend to brace her and with my other arm I braced myself on the steering wheel. By doing that, I caused my spine to get majorly fucked up and caused it to curve wrong in my neck. It took two years of going to the chiropractor before I was considered "normal" again.

4. When I was 19 I kept getting sick and rushed to the ER whenever I ate cheesecake. Two years, multiple doctors and a full body scan later, they discovered I had an ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit. Six months later I was diagnosed with poly-cystic ovaries (PCOS), and have been on medication ever since.

5. Being diagnosed with PCOS still didn't cause all my problems. I still had serious problems with my stomach so I began seeing an alternative doctor. Multiple tests later I was diagnosed with an allergy to yeast (bye, bye bread) and Wilson's Syndrome, a thyroid disorder that causes your body not to convert your thyroid enzymes properly.

6. That helped, but I still had numerous stomach problems. So my regular doctor decided to do a stomach scope and everything was "normal" but he found "funny, odd ulcers" in my intestines. So I could have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease at 21 but wasn't. Instead, they gave me anti-acid medicines.

7. When I was 27 I woke up one morning with the inability to move the left side of my body. Aaron took me to the doctor, who said I likely had a stroke and sent me to the ER. The doctors at the ER said I had a brain aneurysm that was unfindable in the tests and I would likely die in a few months. The next day I went back to the chiropractor and they said I was subluxated and adjusted me. As long as I stay in alignment, I'm fine. (Thanks, car accident.)

8. When Darwin was 13 months old we did a full allergy panel on him. Based on the fact he's allergic to every damn thing in the world, we decided I would get a blood allergy panel as well. At 28, I was diagnosed with an allergy to wheat and Celiac Disease.

Whew.

And people wonder why, with my myriad of medical problems, I get sick easily.

I'm defective. That's why.

17 comments:

Dana said...

yowza girl!!!

Renee said...

All of a sudden, I feel incredibly healthy.

Dawn said...

and why oh why aren't you spending time with John Travolta in the plastic bubble...wow, wow, wow!

kristi said...

And yet you can still kick ass with the best of them. I've been sick for a week, but I feel healthier now, just reading your medical history!

lera said...

Geesh, girl, it never stops with you, does it? You are one brave lady.

Alicia A. said...

not DEFECTIVE. Let's just call it sensitive...

nuttnbunny said...

Jeez-o-Pete! Shouldn't NIH give you a grant?

Chickenbells said...

You're not defective...you're special! I have a lot of those allergies too, but mine include dairy as well...Rich has got turkey, chicken, egg, honey and maple syrup thrown in for good measure (cause' life's fun like that) Thank goodness you got tested for allergies AND you have a good chiropractor...cause' I don't want you to die from a brain thing...my life wouldn't be nearly as fun if I couldn't read you every day...Plus, it's a damned sexy woman that can bake like you do!

Stacy said...

holy hell. i dunno what to say. except that maybe I should stop whining!

Frogdancer said...

I was feeling sorry for myself because I didn't get home till 6.45 after working all day and I was tired.....

now I feel bouncy and happy. My God woman.... what did you do in your previous life????

Suzie Sews said...

Wow, that one list...

Laura said...

Wow that's really quite impressive. Can't believe they told your Dad you were pregnant at 12. Good luck staying healthy and sane!!!!

kirsten said...

dude.

Marsha said...

Remember those little hand held computers on star trek that could diagnose all medical problems? I wish I had one of those.

Mary said...

Man, that is some freaky medical stuff. Of course, none of those explain your potty mouth. Thanks for playing along with the tag!

Amy said...

Thanks Christ for chiropractors.

J. Hallock said...

You mentioned Wilson's Syndrome. Not too many people have heard of that. I had thyroid symptoms but my doctor said that certainly couldn't be it because my blood tests were normal.

Suffer on until by the grace of God or fate or a big cosmic accident I met a woman who said, I know what that is. I had the same low temperature, feeling cold, etc. and mine just came out of the blue after I lost my job. It's Wilson's Syndrome. This is where I want to get info and help.

Wilson’s Syndrome

Two months later - Wow! I could have gone on like that for years.