Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Snappin' Her Fingers (Oh Oh Ooo Oh)

First of all, what's up with all the Christmas shit? Seriously, the day after Halloween two local radio stations when all Christmas on my ass. And, of course, it's the light rock stations so now I can't mellow out in the morning to the tunes of Billy Joel and Elton John.

Santa has already come to the malls (and I hate malls enough as it is, to add an early arrival by Santa sent me onto a flurry of rage) and Salvation Army bell ringers are already harassing me for cash. Seriously. Shit like this is what ruins the holiday season for me.

Okay, I'm going to try to answer some questions that people have been asking. If I missed any, ask again in the comments today and I'll answer them in comments.

Keri wanted to ask what plant was in the middle. She called it inappropriate. For the life of me, I can't figure out which one is inappropriate. Which one? The brown thing? In the orange cup? That's some funky seed pod from a tree from Griffin's preschool from last fall. The one next to it? In the Holiday Inn Express cup? That's a Venus Fly Trap. Does that answer your question?

Rebecca F. wants to know how Aaron's ass is. I find it completely hilarious how vested the internets is in the well-being of my husband's asshole. And I'm so very grateful that Aaron doesn't actually read my site. As he says, "I live it, I don't need to read it."

Anyway, Aaron's ass seems to be doing better. With the help of you all, I diagnosed him with a yeast infection. Which, actually, is where men get their yeast infections. I'm so glad I have a vagina.

He's been eating lots of yogurt and it's been helping a lot. It's not nearly as itchy or ahem mucus-y. It's not back to being what he considers to be normal, but it's a lot better. And definitely not pinworms, which is really great because we'd all have to go on medicine for that and I'm quite certain I'd be allergic to it.

Amy asked what the pea-looking plant was called. The tag says "senecio rowleyanus." The internets says it's also called "sting of pearls" or "string of beads." Griffin picked it out at our favorite nursery and I think it was two or three dollars.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk to the principal of Griffin's school. His teacher still hasn't replied to Friday night's email. I talked to the parent of the kid Griffin claims he was just drawing on and that's exactly what he said what happened. The principal is hoping we can work out our differences with the teacher on our own without intervention; I told him that it's quite difficult to do that if she doesn't communicate with us. Now I know why some people call some women the c word. Which I don't do. But now I understand.

I got some toys yesterday. Wanna see?

Don't they look fun?

My dad has been bitching at me to hem his jeans. I've had one pair since April and one since August. Geesh. Think I should hem them?


Tracy Harris said...

I feel exactly the same way about Christmas. Blech.

Lala said...

OMG... I was SO wondering what Keri was brave enough to ask... LOL... the FALIK looking plant... LOL... CACTUS ERECTUS maybe???

Hmmmmm... was wondering about Aarrons BUMM too... but again... someone else was brave enough to ask... just a bit of a tip... after the treatment if he has an itchy bumm... VAGISIL works wonders... LOL

I hope you get the problem with the teacher worked out... I find I get the best result by NOT being confrontational... a bit of "reverse psychology"... but at the same time... if she doesn't respond I'd go up one rung to HER boss

Lala :o)

capello said...

the "cactus erectus" is "pachyveria haagei v. mon." which also known as "jewel plant". some kind of fucking cactus, darwin picked it out when griffin got his pea plant.

kristi said...

One of my old roomies had one of those phallic cacti. She had it for years, and it just kept getting longer and longer until one day it just snapped off. (It was a good 2 feet tall at that point.)

I'm already sick of Christmas too. Capitalism makes me grouchy.

Mary said...

I can't believe that teacher still has not responded to you. Unreal!

Amy said...

Thanks for the info! I go to Family Tree, too. I was thinking of going soon to see if they have any amaryllis not already planted in a gold pot or something. I've never grown one before. But that would require actually leaving the house.

I love the tree fabric/paper. (I'm not sure which it is.)

Lala said...

UGH... I should've known PHallic... LOL... not FALIK... guess you can tell I'm not a regular user of THAT term... LOL... It just looked like a big weener to me... :o)

Lala :o)

LauraJ said...

love the new stuff you got there! so pinky cool!

Kathy said...

My five-year-old has been singing Jingle Bells since Halloween. I'm guessing he's been singing it at school in preparation for their Winter program. But it's not even THANKSGIVING!!!!

I can't believe your son's teacher. I'm feeling blessed to have a wonderful Kindergarten teacher for my son. Good luck to you!

Meegan Blue said...

Oh, Lordy please tell me that the tree print is fabric...I love it so!

And the teacher? Ugh.

capello said...

the stuff in the picture is all paper (except for the ribbon).

dudes. we need to write a letter to basic grey about making fabric. seriously.

Keri said...

Ha ha Lala - Cactus Erectus. LMAO!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that. It DOES look like a rather "blessed", um, "package". Not that I'd know - I've been single for a LONG time. :(

Cactus Erectus - I'll be laughing about that for DAYS!!!!!

Oh and thanks for calling out my dirty-mindedness!!!! :)

Wendy said...

I was gonna ask where you got that wonderful tree fabric. Poo. If I ever scrapbooked these days, I'd be all over it.

pungsnotded said...

That tree paper is Woowoo!
Forget hemming those jeans, when you have cool stuff like that lying about. OR at least that's what I would do.

lera said...

Love the trees!!! I'm guessing that's paper, huh? It would be great fabric!

Chickenbells said...

I seriously thought I read..."satan is at the mall..." I'm like, yup...that's about right...I had to turn off the TV the other night (ok...I just switched channel)cause' How The Grinch Stole Christmas was on...kind of ironic don't you think? Damn stole Christmas and now you're stealing my Thanksgiving one at a time...

The teacher? ugh...I can't believe she didn't respond, only you know what? I totally can...could it be because she WASN'T paying attention to what was happening?

And dude...just make your dad a pair of platform would be easier than hemming...

tamy said...

god, havent read your blog in a week and soooo much to catch up on!! phallic symbols, ass yeast infections, ambien in baby's bottles and deadbeat teachers..with all this "excitment" no wonder you dont have time to hem a couple of pairs of jeans!!

Rachel said...

I don't even like going to the stores right now, because they are surrounded in santa crap. Really people, can we focus on the now? Some turkey. Pie. stuffing. pie.

kirsten said...

first of all, if you're listening to stations 'the whole office can agree on' then you're just asking for it.

okay, the teacher not responding is uber-lame. even if you were just asking about homework or schedule or something, she should respond! you need to know that she will answer your emails, so you're totally right to go over her head - do it again! esp. if she's not following the school's disciplinary program by the book. that's NOT COOL.

and good luck with that.