Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Let the Good Times Roll

So, Darwin and I were at Whole Foods today and he was all in his happy baby mode, smiling and waving to everyone. I'm at the check-out lane, loading all the groceries on the conveyer belt and then this happens...

(Darwin's Internal Dialogue)

Hmmm... What's that on the shelf? Hiding behind those containers? Hmmm, I've never seen one of these before. Hmmm, smells like food. I'll take a bite. Oh, heavenly nectar of the gods, what is this? This is divine. This is the most delicious thing I have ever tasted in my life. Un-oh, better hide it from Money... oh, shit! She sees it! No! Don't take it! Argh! Get your finger out of my mouth! Waaaaaaaaahhhhh! Give it back! I don't give a flying fuck if I am allergic! What did you call it? A cookie? "COOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKEEEEEE!!!" I want it back! Get! Your! Fingers! Out! Of! My! Mouth! Fuck the oats! Fuck the wheat! Fuck the dairy! Fuck the eggs! I want that cookie back, bitch! Oh, what's this, this is interesting... you called it ice water? Ooooooohhhhh... ice water. This is nice too....

10 comments:

hannah said...

if you think about it, we really are money to them, right? this is so spot on its scary... nice one with the ice water.

angela said...

You got me laughing. Poor kiddo, at least you had a good alternative in reach! Did he get any of the cookie? I hope not. And still you are Money, huh? That's just funny.
*please note that I'm still chuckling over Captain McBoing boing.

Julie said...

Thats so FUNNY!!:D

LLA said...

That is so very Swingers of Darwin.... :)

manda said...

That kid's language is fucking dreadful ;)

(nice move with the ice water though!)

kristi said...

Where the fuck do they learn to talk like that, anyway? Poor Darwin. It's a good thing he's easily distracted?

lera said...

Kids! You think you can turn your back on them for "just a second" and they always get into something. THIS was a scary something. Did he have any reactions????

Alicia A. said...

Oh, that kid. Poor thing wants a cookie. "Money, you betta cook me up some rice cookies, damn it." Uh, can he have rice? And do they make rice flour?

capello said...

Yes, Alicia, they make rice flour. I have a whole bag of it the pantry. I also have potato starch flour and another flour that I can't recall the name of.

And as of now, Darwin's butt is very, very sore. Unfortunately, he doesn't yet understand "what comes in, must come out. and it will hurt if you're allergic."

diana said...

I would guess that Darwin does not need speech therapy... heh heh !!
Good story Capello... you had me laughing !