Thursday, March 29, 2007
I'm a lot Like You, So Please, Hello, I'm Here, I'm Waiting
I'm seriously beginning to realize how dependent I am on creating. Something. Anything. As long as once it's made, it's done being made. You know, not housework. Because that shit has to be done every day and is never complete. And that's driving me crazy too.
And yes, the only reason why I'm barely hanging on is because I'm writing here. I've discovered I really spaz if I cannot write. Even Aaron says so, "Woman, why don't you go write something and calm down."
I'm even noticing, though, that creating on the computer isn't cutting it. Of course, I'm sure that has nothing to do with my immediate gratification issues and lack of patience. Of course, I'm not really creating with my hands which means that anything on the computer doesn't quite have the same gratification as something real, something tangible. Something I can pass to another person and they can feel it.
Grrr... sometimes it feels like more of a curse than a blessing. What's so damn wrong with me that not making something makes me feel absolutely inadequate and useless? There's plenty of people roaming this earth who don't have the need, the drive, the all-consuming-obsession of creating.