I already made my first enemy!
(Admit it... you are proud of me. Come on... admit it!)
While we were waiting for All The Excitement To Begin, Griffin and I were sitting minding our own business when this
The person-next-to-me's daughter asked the friend's son why he wasn't having a cookie. The friend replied her son was allergic to eggs.
At which point I chimed in, "Allergies are So Much Fun."
And she responded, "Oh yeah. What are you allergic to?"
"We are all allergic to wheat, but my boys are allergic to tons of stuff."
And then the person-next-to-me shrieked, "Well, it's way more difficult to be allergic to eggs than wheat."
"Yeah. No, its not."
"All you have to do is use tons of rice flour."
"Actually, it's slightly more involved than that."
"Eggs are in everything."
"Really? Last time I checked eggs aren't in canned beans. Or in chocolate bars. Or coated on gum. Or added into spices. Eggs are not in cheese, or pop, or in french fries. Eggs are not added to sour cream as a stabilizer or fruit drinks. Are you sure? Really? That eggs are in everything? Because I KINDA THINK YOU ARE WRONG."
Little Miss Polyanna with her hair in a perfect ponytail and her perfectly white leather keds and mom jeans and Fourth of July sweater got all sorts of huffy and puffy with me and angled herself as far away from me as humanly possible while the principal talked to us.
As soon as she stepped out of the room, I heard someone behind mumble, "What a bitch."
And I quickly made a roomful of friends.