Friday, March 30, 2007

I'll Be a Big Noise With All the Big Boys

I just got home from taking Griffin to Kindergarten Round-up. And guess what!

I already made my first enemy!

Score!

(Admit it... you are proud of me. Come on... admit it!)

While we were waiting for All The Excitement To Begin, Griffin and I were sitting minding our own business when this lady person sat down next to me with her daughter. Then her friend with her son sat on the other side of them.

The person-next-to-me's daughter asked the friend's son why he wasn't having a cookie. The friend replied her son was allergic to eggs.

At which point I chimed in, "Allergies are So Much Fun."

And she responded, "Oh yeah. What are you allergic to?"

"We are all allergic to wheat, but my boys are allergic to tons of stuff."

And then the person-next-to-me shrieked, "Well, it's way more difficult to be allergic to eggs than wheat."

"Yeah. No, its not."

"All you have to do is use tons of rice flour."

"Actually, it's slightly more involved than that."

"Eggs are in everything."

"Really? Last time I checked eggs aren't in canned beans. Or in chocolate bars. Or coated on gum. Or added into spices. Eggs are not in cheese, or pop, or in french fries. Eggs are not added to sour cream as a stabilizer or fruit drinks. Are you sure? Really? That eggs are in everything? Because I KINDA THINK YOU ARE WRONG."

"Well!" ::sigh::

Little Miss Polyanna with her hair in a perfect ponytail and her perfectly white leather keds and mom jeans and Fourth of July sweater got all sorts of huffy and puffy with me and angled herself as far away from me as humanly possible while the principal talked to us.

As soon as she stepped out of the room, I heard someone behind mumble, "What a bitch."

And I quickly made a roomful of friends.

31 comments:

Angelina said...

Wait am minute, you made friends by making an enemy? Why doesn't that happen to me? I just make enemies.

Isn't grade school the funnest!

Yeah, I would actually have assumed that it's not that difficult to not eat eggs. Though until reading your blog I certainly wasn't aware of just how difficult it is to avoid wheat either.

But even though I'm a social reject, I don't think I ever would have been so rude.

I would have just bonded with you over allergies. Then I would have used a swear word or two and we would be fast friends!

kirsten said...

we got your back if she ever gives you any more trouble... online...

what is she smoking? wheat is SO much harder. wheat + dairy, though, i think i win.

Angel Jem said...

My allergy's bigger than your allergy... and we wonder why the kids are like they are! ( not you, honey, that silly woman but you knew I wouldn't dis a friend, didn't you?)

oilclothjunkie said...

Awesome! I hope our Kindergarten round up goes as well. :)

Chickenbells said...

Good night nurse...I can't believe someone is allergy competing...with you! Do they have any idea who they're talking to? I'll bet they do now! It's hard to be allergic to anything, and wheat seems like it's in almost everything on the planet...sigh.

Bitterbetty said...

Ah...
but at least you already know which b@#&% to look out for.. And knowing is half the battle.

PamKittyMorning said...

Awesome. Its like I'm having a grades school flashback. Good luck!

LauraJ said...

You're not alone. I went off on a rant today too. I was at the store. The one I go to almost bi-weekly. Think small town Canada. I'm in the electronics department looking for a video game for the boy for Easter. (We don't do chocolate bunnies here.) I haven't been there in a while and the clerk (guy I've had a crush on and off) mosies on over to chat with me. Then goes on to say how his kids (perfectly healthy mind you!) were sick last week and he was at the hospital for 3 days last week. I looked at him and said "Honey Don't you even go there!! I've been in and out of hospitals for the past 8 years with mine." The nerve of some people! (and they know too that the boy is in a wheelchair. Ugh! I throw my hands up.

Mirre said...

Excellent, very mature women!

Alicia A. said...

one enemy... many friends. Not a bad first day!

lera said...

way to go, capello!!!!!!!

LLA said...

I am proud of you!

It's a tough job keeping the Muffia* in their place - we've all got to be diligent...

(And a 4th of July Sweater, really? SCS, it's still MARCH!!!!)

------------
*You do read White Trash Mom, right?

amy h said...

Well, that makes me not look forward to school. :) Does that lady WANT to win the allergy competition? Um, no thanks.

Kristy said...

Nothing like fellow sufferers offering support is there?Because of course the worse the allergy the better eh!!At least you found out on day one she's not worth the effort!
That Mom jeans advert is hilarious I love it!

robiewankenobie said...

i'll delurk to express my pride. i'm not proud. i'll admit it.

Manda said...

hey you saying your kids allergy is worse than mine?

(yeah I make enemies too - all. the. time.)

kristi said...

You know what she was expecting, right? Lots of pity, and lots of approval and praise for her nobility in taking care of little Mr. Egg Allergy. Instead, you blew her right out of the water. It was bound to happen sooner or later... at least you've gotten that out of the way!

nuttnbunny said...

all that plus!

And I think you may have just identified my next Halloween costume. Mom jeans! Anyone else?

Ali said...

Oh, she really didn't know who she was taking on in the allergy wars did she?!!

Do you think she studies 'How to be obnoxious' books in her spare time.

I bet Griffin decides to be her kids best buddy!! Because, this is your life, you know.

Stephanie said...

ok tears are rolling down my face I laughed so hard about the mom-jeans. The keds and bad sweater...even better. What a biatch.

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

LOL! As I was reading this, I was reminded of the SNL girl who one ups everyone. Not you.......her.

Love the Mom Jeans, I hadn't seen that before. :)

Chara Michele said...

Maybe that lady should try going without wheat for awhile and seeing how much she likes it! Allergies suck period. Although I have to say that wheat is definitely harder to give up (I am allergic to wheat and eggs, and eggs are definitely not as difficult to avoid.)

Eren said...

LMAO on this one! Why can some women be the most kind, understanding people around, and then others are total bitches??? How does that happen? Well, glad you are off on the right foot for school (wink).

monica said...

hey some people are not worth stressing over. She probably doesn't even know what 'wheat' is. I've got friends that think it's just pasta and bread. Yeah right, if only!!

And like my dad always says: keep your friends close, and your enemy closer! Watch out!!

whizzme said...

way to go laura - I always get tounge tied in those situations.

cheryl said...

lol. mom jeans. really??? i can't get beyond the mom jeans....

an allergy pissing contest. that's a new one!

Cathy said...

Hahaha! You are the champ... and good for you, she needed a lesson in humility.

MéLisa said...

Wow what a freak! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see you put her in her place!

Gina Perry said...

you rock. situations like that are one reason i'm scared to have kids someday because i'm not tough enough to do battle with other mommies. well, maybe i'll be tough like you someday.

the egg allergy seems sort of sucky though. i've had a few egg-free products (because sometimes they like to remove all the fun to make every allergy-ridden person happy) and it was not that tasty. But yes, gluten allergies suck more! ;)

testblog said...

Welcome to Muffia Hell girlfriend.
You did great for your first encounter with one the evil MUFFY mob. You are not alone. Sounds like you have a cool bunch of moms around you already. Call upon your sisters in normal mom-dom---also known as WHITE TRASH MOMS.

happy Zombie said...

You rock! And lesson #1 you've already learned... watch you back when anyone is wearing a theme sweater.