Thursday, March 29, 2007

I'm a lot Like You, So Please, Hello, I'm Here, I'm Waiting

It's been a week since I've made anything and I'm starting to go crazy.

dogwood

I'm seriously beginning to realize how dependent I am on creating. Something. Anything. As long as once it's made, it's done being made. You know, not housework. Because that shit has to be done every day and is never complete. And that's driving me crazy too.

And yes, the only reason why I'm barely hanging on is because I'm writing here. I've discovered I really spaz if I cannot write. Even Aaron says so, "Woman, why don't you go write something and calm down."

Ahem.

I'm even noticing, though, that creating on the computer isn't cutting it. Of course, I'm sure that has nothing to do with my immediate gratification issues and lack of patience. Of course, I'm not really creating with my hands which means that anything on the computer doesn't quite have the same gratification as something real, something tangible. Something I can pass to another person and they can feel it.

Grrr... sometimes it feels like more of a curse than a blessing. What's so damn wrong with me that not making something makes me feel absolutely inadequate and useless? There's plenty of people roaming this earth who don't have the need, the drive, the all-consuming-obsession of creating.

19 comments:

kristi said...

I don't think it's a flaw. In fact, lately I've been wishing I had more drive to do something, anything! So, at the moment I envy your curse. ;)

LauraJ said...

I'm like the above commenter, only I have TOO MANY ideas and projects for creativity! Housework be damned I rather create!

LLA said...

It is most definitely both a blessing and a curse...

Just do what you can, when you can, and do it in a way that makes you happy. (You knew I was going to say that, didn't you???)

lera said...

Oh, I feel like that, too. And when I don't have time or energy to do something, I get really antsy. And probably mean, too.

amy h said...

Chris and I talk about this ALL the time. We ask, “why can’t we just be like normal people and come home and watch TV and not keep doing and making and working?” But really look at that question. How sad to just do absolutely nothing — that’s no life.

Alicia A. said...

Honey- you're preachin' to the choir. I'm afraid we're not going to be much help, because we all have the same problem.

oilclothjunkie said...

Yeah, I know the itchy feeling you get when you don't have enough time to create what you want. But there's just nothing better when you've finally created something. I still get a kick out of actually figuring out how something goes together. It's sad but after each project I do a little happy dance just 'cause I'm so darn pleased with myself for figuring it out and finishing it.

Cathy said...

There is something about the spring that makes me want to DO something real. It's like I have creative cabin fever.

Mirre said...

I know the downside of a creative urge, however it undoubtedly makes you a more original person!

luckybeans said...

Yeah, but the people wandering the earth not wanting to create much are BORING ASS people and I don't want to read their blogs. At all.

Angelina said...

Exactly what luckybeans said.

I'm the same way too.

If anything, being a stay at home parent intensifies the need to do projects that have a finite process. Because house keeping, caring for kids, and many other aspects of life have a never ending circular shape to them, so that they are never done. Before you finish the dishes, more dishes are being made.

You need the projects that give you that immediate satisfaction so that you can stay sane.

As for the writing, you need to write because you're a writer. People always feel saner when they're doing the things they were meant to do.

kirsty said...

It's hardly a flaw. In fact, I consider people Like Us to be The Superior Variety.

nuttnbunny said...

We glory in your complexity :-)and feel to be kindred spirits.

Don't think, even for a second, that I'm kidding.

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

who cares why.......you're good at it, so just do it! :)
So.....what's your next project?

Chickenbells said...

Must. Create.

I agree...and also

Must. Write.

otherwise, what's the point?

Joanne (The Simple Wife) said...

I'm totally with you. I go too many days without making/creating something and I just have to get downstairs to the basement and make something...anything!

Eren said...

OK, after this...let me do the darned page for you so that you can get your fingers back onto some fiber. Oh, and Sergio calls me WOMAN! also. And it drives me nutso. But that is why they do it, isnt it?

Emy said...

I would much rather have the urge to create and craft than to sit around doing nothing! It's so much more fun. I say put the boys to bed early and go make something easy. Sometimes even just sketching out some ideas on paper gives me the "fix" that I need until I have time for myself. I can't sleep if I don't create for a few days.

samantha said...

at times like these I find it helpful to sit down with a nice bottle, I mean glass of red...