All Around the Kitchen, Cock-a-Doodle-Doodle-Doo

The space behind refrigerators and stoves are disgusting. Utterly, throughly, gaggingly disgusting. Trust me.

But! Did you know? New appliances are on WHEELS. Wheels, people. Wheels with which you can move them and clean behind refrigerators and stoves weekly.

Not to say I'll do it weekly now, but I can and damn it, that's good enough.


And you know what else? Supposedly new stoves have four working burners and an oven that can hold a consistent temperature and refrigerators actually hold consistent temperatures.

I actually can't believe that though. I mean, seriously. What am I gonna do if my fridge and stove work properly? What will I have to fret over now?

I Can Take Apart the Remote Control and I Can Almost Put it Back Together

Last week's experiment of writing everything helped me realize how much I actually do accomplish, but really made me realize how little I do for myself.

Anyone else ever notice that?

That you're busy taking care of everyone but yourself?

Hmph.

I don't think I like that much.

You know, not to say I don't enjoy taking care of my family because I do enjoy taking care of them and OCD really helps out a lot with keeping on top of all our damn laundry but I do need to figure out how to balance myself and accomplish other things besides dishes and clean floors.

Which reminds me, I need to vacuum. Crap.

My weekend was a blur. A big, messy, hectic blur of shopping and spending money which has caused me to panic (dude, new fridge, new stove and new grill; I can't decide if I'm spoiled or fell into a consumerism sandpit of shit). And then we had a big birthday celebration for my step-mom.


And then there was the hours upon hours of gardening-gardening-gardening which is making it nearly impossible for me to see straight today and questioning if maybe, perhaps I actually should live in a bubble because damn, yo. These allergies SUCK.

spiraea

So my biggest question today is (other than what to make for dinner?) is should I spend time outside aggravating my allergies or upstairs continuing to tackle the big mess that's also dusty which? Guess? AGGRAVATES MY ALLERGIES.

Of course. I guess I don't have to answer that question until after I finish vacuuming.

Why You Gotta Do Me Like That

Okay, you all are cracking me up with the laundry comments. Apparently, I do a lot of laundry? I don't really know what y'all are talking about. We're a family of four and I do 1o to 15 loads of laundry a week. We have whites, lights, darks, pants & jammies, my shirts, towels, delicates, sheets and blankets. I do about two or three loads of each whites and pants a week. Is this not normal? Does it help to mention we have really bad allergies and I wash our bedding once a week?

Okay! Thursday! Besides Blogger being a bugger and not letting me post last night I... worked + did three loads of dishes + one load of laundry + made the kids pick up the playroom + taught Griffin how to properly put books away + thoroughly scrubbed two bathrooms + cleaned the kitchen + cleaned the table + scrubbed the oven + cleaned Tuckie's habitat


+ put away seven loads of laundry (which I always find to be the most daunting task) + washed the walls in the upstairs bathroom (dude, I really need to paint) + fed the kids lunch + met up with friends to go bowling


+ came home + sat on my ass while I talked to my mother-in-law for an hour and a half + took a shower + made the boys dinner (leftovers) + begged Aaron to bring home Chipotle + played checkers with the boys + ate dinner + watched "Ugly Betty" + went to bed.

Whew.

Excuse My Manners if I Make a Scene

Wednesday! Which also sounds a lot like "wet-ness-day" if you ask me.

Today started with saying "hi" to my husband for returning from a business trip + then I worked + got Griff to school + worked some more + showered (yippee!) + did two loads of laundry + a load of dishes + scrubbed the eating table + got Griff out of school early + took the boys to the dentist (no cavities!) + went to Whole Foods + made lunch + watched "Days of Our Lives" (no making fun!) + worked + took the kids outside + brought them in 2 minutes later due to rain + worked some more + helped Darwin make the Island of Sodor


+ did laundry + ran a load of dishes + started dinner (gluten-free sausage pizza with veggies and caramelized onions) + worked (dude, I love my job) + now I'm gonna go finish making that pizza because DAMN, I'm hungry go unplug all the computer equipment because CRASHBAMBOOM! thunder and lightening.

What'd you do today?

Set Me on Fire in the Evening

Tuesday.... today I made the boys a "special breakfast" (gluten-free french toast sticks) + got Griffin to school + worked, worked, worked + did two loads of laundry + ran two loads of dishes + waited for over half an hour for Griffin's field trip bus to return to school + took a pencil away from a boy who nearly stabbed Darwin in his blind eye + explained to the mother that no, it's not his right to wave a pencil around + yelled at an old lady to stop inches from hitting my van + moved my van so she wouldn't hit it + missed my conference call because of that damn bus + went to Whole Foods + nearly got ran over in the parking lot + came home + made myself a stiff drink


+ went in the backyard while the boys played + looked at my favorite flowering bush + wondered what its name is + looked at all the gardening projects I have to do + took the boys to the front yard + watched them on the scooters and play with chalk while I finished trimming the front yard rose buses


+ cleaned up all the mess + currently in the process of making dinner (roast chicken breast, french fries, mixed veggies and salad) + contemplating if I should take the boys on a walk again tonight like I did last night.

Whew.

Into a Place, Where Thoughts can Bloom; into a Room Where it's Nine in the Afternoon

Today is day one of my project going on this week.

Project Let's Compare Ourself to Only Ourself also known as Stop Treating Yourself Like Shit, Damn.

Hi. It's Monday. The day is not quite over (it's 5:45ish pm my time) but let's be honest, once that clock hits 6 o'clock I'm pretty much spent for the day. Yes, I finish making dinner and give the kids medicine and get them ready for bed and read them stories and do at least one more load of dishes but... huh. Look at that.

Okay.

Monday!

Today I worked + went to the grocery store + did two loads of laundry + did three loads of dishes + got Griffin to and from school + watered all my new plants


+ moved most of my indoor plants outside + repotted my pansies (damn squirrels) + got haircuts for me and the boys and my eyebrows waxed + ordered Darwin new glasses + fought Darwin over the fact that yes, you will be wearing glasses now that you're older + went to the chiropractor + talked to two neighbors + made dinner (almost done, tacos)

I'm gonna go ahead and call that a pretty successful day.

Now, let's see how successful of an evening I can muster.

I Don't Think You Ready for This

:: buried the threads :: took out the pins :: ironed fabric :: cut fabric:: pinned the new fabric to the pillow:: sewed it up:: washed it :: tumbled it dry :: put it out to enjoy ::


Wanna come over?

And it Feels Like Love, and it's All That We've Got

Hey, remember when I made a pillow top?

And then I bitched about it taking forever to hand quilt?

Guess what!

I finally finished the quilting!

TODAY.


Tiny, bitty hand stitches. No wonder those quilt store ladies laughed at me.

Now, no, I have not been working on this since July. I think I packed it up when I got mad at its slowness and just found it two weeks ago.

And even though the quilting is done, I still need to sew a back on it. Oy.

So (yeah, hi! that's how I transition around here: VERY LITTLE NOTICE), I've been kicking around this of documenting what I complete in a day, every day next week. Very little excitement and lots of dulling dribble, I'm sure.

But often I feel as though I'm not accomplishing much around here, but in reality I am -- I just focus on what I wanted to accomplish and get mad at myself for not completing in a day everything I wanted to do.

I'm not sure how it would go, and I'm quite convinced it would be boring (I mean, how interesting can I make "did three loads of laundry" five days in a row sound?) but I do think a reminder might help me realize that ultimately, I am accomplishing a lot. Just not a lot of crafting.

Or would that be lame?

Hold Up, Wait a Minute, Do I See What I Think I - Whoa

I'm done acting like the one with the penis around here.

Seriously.



My children completely lose any resemblance to Rational Human Beings when they see a bug in the house. Even a little ol' ladybug just going about her (his?) business.

Dude.

And don't even ask me about my husband. If he sees a spider he squeals like a little girl and his arms go frailing about. Especially if I force him to kill it and it moves. Dear God.

And with spring here? Oy. I feel like I'm putting out fires all day long, only without any smoke damage.

Jump Back, Got to Get Out of Here, Been Too Long This Time

We spent the past two days pointing outside and laughing. Hahahaha, it's raining. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo. Hahahahahaha.

Yeah.

That behavior's biting me in the ass right now.


Spring's here and there's Stuff To Do.

Now, not to say I'm a lazy ass or anything, but I'm a lazy ass and how am I suppose to fit in all the gardening now that we're having nicer weather? I'm struggling along trying to accomplish the bare necessities and now there's seeds to be sewn, leaves to rake, stuff to deadhead.

I mean, come on. Seriously. How? Aren't I suppose to have superpowers or somethin'?

Thunder Only Happens When it's Raining

The boys and I were eating dinner last night when BAM! BOOM! CRASH! it sounded like our house was falling apart.

Okay. The house isn't falling apart. The tree is just tossing limbs around the yard in the crazy Midwest weather we're experience. You know what I'm talking about, 70mph wind gusts, three rounds of hail in two hours, horrendous rain followed by freakish orange sunlight.

You know, Kansas in spring.

muscari & daffodil, because it's way prettier than that branch

Freshly added to the list of weekend activities: pick up the huge branch in the backyard. Oy.

Oh, and figure out how to rebuild the walk-out because that branch smooshed it like melted ice cream. Ack.

Ain't No Doctor That Can Cure My Disease

Darwin's doing super after my shoving my finger down his throat and forcing him to puke at the park yesterday. Very little must have been left in his system and his allergic reaction has been pretty mild. Thankfully.

You know, nothin' says "mothering" like "here son, LET MY SHOVE MY FINGERS DOWN YOUR THROAT AND FORCE YOU TO PUKE." Come to think of it, nothing says "love" quite like that either.

And since we're talking about funky-ass medical issues, here are two more we're dealing with...


Warts. Darwin has two warts on his hands. The first one he began to develop in January and a month ago he began getting a second one. Once that one popped up, I started doing some research (nerd alert! nerd alert!) and discovered the duct tape method.

I brought up the duct tape method with the allergist, who said it works very well. According to what I have found, within six months 80% of duct taped warts are gone, 50% of untreated warts are gone and 30% of acid-burned and frozen-burned warts are gone.

So... what's the duct tape method? Uh, you wrap the finger in duct tape. Seriously. And amazingly, the duct tape I bought didn't contain latex (another high-allergen in this house). The catch is you have to have duct tape on all the time. So whenever a piece pops off, we take the other one off, wash and dry his hands and put on new duct tape.

I can say, after doing this for three weeks, this method is working quite well. The smaller, younger wart (how sad is that? that he has multiple warts?) is nearly gone and the older wart has decreased by about a third in size and it's really, really soft now.

The other medical issue? Canker sores.

Oy. I developed a canker sore on the bottom of my tongue (ewwww) on Sunday. I've been brushing, flossing and gargling like crazy. It's just getting bigger. I'm thinking I may be having an allergic reaction to the new dental supplies (I bought the store-brands of pre-rinse, toothpaste and mouthwash last week) or it's just good old-fashioned stress (not that I've been dealing with any of that around here, oh no, I'm not a bundle of nerves wanting to cry over laundry not put away, nuh-uh, not me).

So, back to the computer today and guess what! I SHOULDN'T BE USING MOUTHWASH WITH A CANKER SORE. Oy. I also made a paste of baking soda and water and put it on my tongue.

I never realized that baking soda tasted salty.

So, let's see... in recap I've discussed forcing my son to puke, warts and canker sores today. I'm rockin' this blogging thing.

Zippity Doo Wah Out on the Ground

It was a lovely day at the park, playing with friends. When all of the sudden, Griffin began screaming, "Darwin ate wheat! Darwin ate wheat!"

Yeah.

Darwin ate some Cheatos from some kids we don't know.

Which apparently don't have wheat but are still filled with soy and cheese.

Darwin's allergic to soy and dairy.

I had to shove my finger down his throat to make him throw up.

In front of my friends.

And then I had to rush him home to give him benadryl.

Dude. Food allergies suck major ass.

She Wants to Party (Woooo!) She Wants to Get Down (Woooo!)

"Mommy? Hey, Mommy?


"This picture means Mommies are not allowed to play with my Lego Bionicles. SO GIVE THEM BACK!"

Geesh. Talk about buzzkill.

I Wanna Know That You'll Tell Me, I Love to Stay

Friday night, still running a fever, I packed the family up in the van for a quick jaunt to Arkansas.

Of course, I use the term "quick" very loosely as it took six hours to get there and apparently Arkansas doesn't have proper highways. Oh, and they have hills mountains. Lots and lots of mountains.


It was a big family celebration of sorts. Aaron's [step]father found his birth mother last year and everyone managed to pack up and go meet her.

It was lovely.

Unfortunately, we only got to stay for one full day. We packed up Sunday afternoon, decided fuck that and hung around until the early evening hours, arriving home early this morning.

So if you hear any moaning, that's me aching. Or if you hear and thumping, that's me walking into the walls. I need some more sleep.

[full set of photos on flickr, blogspot's being a bugger.]

I've Been Swimming in a Sea of Anarchy

Earlier this week, the lovely Lauren tagged me for seven things I think are lame.

Oh my hell, is today ever a day to do such a thing.

1. Magical flus that pop up and bite you in the ass. And knock you in the head. It's nice to sit upright today, and that's just pathetic.

2. Fevers that spread like wildfire through the family (okay, that ties in with number one but still, it's lame).

3. Receiving goodies in the mail, but not writing about them nor posting pictures. I do believe this also qualifies me as a major asshole.

4. A cable box that freezes up and reboots itself in the middle of watching t.v. And a cable company that doesn't answer the phone. Bastards.

5. The lack of sunshine in Kansas.

6. Me, constantly singing "mister sun, sun, mister golden sun, please shine down on me..."

7. Roadtrips. With children. Who like to do public potty tours. We're suppose to go to Arkansas tomorrow. Yikes.

Oh! Got another one!

8. People making the democratic nomination be a fight about race or gender. I don't give a shit about the race and gender, I just want the best candidate. For us, it's Obama.

Something not lame?


Superhero three year olds.

Got a lame list? Let me know!