"Hi, I'd like to speak to the principal please."
"Oh, he's in a meeting right now. Would you like his voicemail?"
"No, I'd like to speak to him. My son is enrolled in the half day Kindergarten program and he got a letter today stating that his classroom's school supplies is on order as well as a curriculum and I've got a question - WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Let me see if I can get a hold of him...."
"Hi, this is the principal."
"Hi, I'm Laura [official last name], my son Griffin is in half day Kindergarten..."
"Yeah. Got your letter in his backpack today. It didn't clear anything up."
"Yeah. And what's this about a curriculum being on order? What the hell is that about?"
"Oh, the other two teachers are sharing their curriculums until the new set comes in."
"So, you're saying my son is actually getting an education?"
"Because to the best of my knowledge, she doesn't have anything in his classroom. Other than carpet, that is."
"Did you know the 14 children in the class stated a revolt because they only had six bottles of glue between them? Do you like have a second cousin to the Underpants Gnomes, because where the fuck is the three bottles of glue we provided you?"
"Um.... all their supplies should be in their classroom."
"Well, they are not."
"Oh... um... I thought they were?"
"You thought wrong. So, new topic: why did you split the classes up before being adequately prepared for them?"
"Because we thought it would be an easier transition now?"
"Did you just phrase that as a question?"
"Are you sure about that?"
"Well, um, four years ago the same thing happened and the school waited until the new classroom was outfitted and it was a huge disaster because by then the routines had been established and, um, it was a fiasco."
"So... you were thinking it would be less of a fiasco to stick some kids in the basement with no resources?"
"Um... I wouldn't say they have no resources..."
"You wouldn't? You sure about that?"
"Um... anyway, we thought the transition would be easier? We're working really hard on it."
"Doncha think maybe you need to pull some resources out of the other rooms?"
"And you realize that Back to School Night is Wednesday and you're in hot water with the parents already, right?"
"And there's been talks of lynching?"
"And talks of a lawsuit for discrimination?"
"Whoa, there is?"
"You do realize the only reason why I'm not completely ripping you a new one right now is because my son LOVES school and LOVES the fact that he's in the basement, right?"
"Um... now I do?"
"And the fact that he's learned to write his name shocks me and makes me happy."
"And you're gonna be Royally Fucked if that classroom isn't as nice or nicer than the other rooms by that night, right?"
"I do now."
"Yeah, you better STEP IT UP dude. You have two days before the school board is involved."