Friday, August 10, 2007

It's the Only Way to Breathe

Last night as I was lying on the couch, bitching and moaning about the heat, Darwin entered the room. Next thing I know, I'm screaming in pain.

It turned out Darwin decided to pelt me with a wooden train, landing squarely on the center of my nose.

Mike's Tender, aka Darwin's Weapon of Mass Destruction

So, yeah, it bled a little and I popped an assload of motrin and stuck an ice pack on my face and ate 20 bazillion popsicles and I figured everything would just be okay.

Well, this morning it was hurting more so I just ate more pain reliever like it was gluten-free candy and just tried to get on with my day. Sure, my nose is shiny and red but, hey! It's summer!

Then this afternoon I realized I was breathing through my mouth. I can't breathe through my nose. My nose and sinuses are really read and swollen. Then I decided to email Michelle and be all woe is me and my nose hurts and she was all duh, doncha think you need to see the doctor? and I was all huh, didn't think of that.

So, of course it's too late in the day to get an appointment (slackass) and the doctor recommended I go to the emergency room. And I'm thinking, uh, no thanks, I'll go to urgent care in the morning and save fifty bucks because, you know, I still have priorities.

Like keeping the children from stealing my ice pack. Priorities.


Angeleen said...

I never did trust Thomas, or any of those other bulgy-eyed freaks! I knew they were up to no good...plotting and scheming back in the dark recesses of the shed. And Sir Tophan Hat? He's their evil and corrupt Puppet Master... only releasing them from their confines to do his sinister bidding.

I think you'll find *THIS* "Very Useful" you top-hatted, fat bastard!


Sorry your boy bonked your nose with the sharp, wooden projectile.

Your eyebrows are really nice, though, so you've got that going for you. AND, your FACE is cold now, too! You know... cause the heat is kicking your ass...? Cold... Good...

I hope the swelling goes down real soon.

Anonymous said...

go to Sunflower urgent care (shawnee mission branch) at Nall & JoDrive tonight - they're open until 9 and it's always quiet as a mouse.

super nice and cute doc there too who wears birks and will flirt wicha.

come on, get over there. it's just west of Johnson on Nall.

Green Butterfly said...

you're funny! I may be sneeking a read every now and then. :)

peggy said...

Peas have always been my choice for an ice pack. Even though my kids are grown, I still keep a bag in the freezer. Sorry about your nose.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! He needs to learn to use his powers for good, and not evil. (We can point out to him the people who really need a noseful of train next time.)

Heidijayhawk said...

what a little turkey!! parker did somehting like that once and you just look at them wondering what could have possibly possessed them to DO something like that! see you sunday rudolph!

Angelina said...

Well that sucks.


I hope it's not broken.

Sometimes when my kid randomly decides to inflict severe violence on myself that I should hire an exorcist to get rid of the devil in him.

(Am I allowed to swear in comments?)

However, I'm too poor right now to hire weird religious people for anything.

LJ said...

nice ice pack!

Anonymous said...

This might be a really dumbass question, but is it BROKEN????

patrice said...

The little darling.

Berber said...

You are the Queen of bad luck!!
I hope your nose isn't broken... good luck!

Anonymous said...

Oh, honey! Go to the doctor!

lera said...

oh no!!!!!!!

i hope it's not broken. what? are you going for a broken bone every summer? you know aaron is getting ready to go away. you can't be sick or injured. it's not allowed.

Ali said...

If he did break your nose you'll be able to hold it over him all his adult life.

Come push my wheelchair, you nose breaking toerag!

And hey, urgent care just might have really good air conditioning.

Chickenbells said...

damn. I've never been hit by a is obvious that the boy should not be a conductor in the future!

Anonymous said...

of course it had to be one of those lead paint laden Thomas the Tank engine ones too...once the nose pain dies down, the lead poisoning will set