Saturday, August 11, 2007

Does it Feel That Your Life's Become a Catastrophe?

So.... good news: the bone in the nose is not broken.

Bad news: the cartilage is.

Let's look at the photographic evidence.... Before:


Nice, normal, cute little nose. Right? Right.

After:


The Barbara Streisand nose. Oh my fuck.

So. Yeah. Hi. The cartilage in my nose is broken. I now have a nice knot on my nose. Everything is swollen and I can't breathe.

I have to give my nose a month to heal. If I still have the lump and/or breathing problems, then I get to go visit an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist and have plastic surgery to fix it. My nose is the last place I would have ever considered having plastic surgery before this.

Wanna know the worst part? The damn doctor didn't even give me any good pain pills. The bastard.

23 comments:

Chickenbells said...

OMG! You poor thing...you have to just sit around and heal for a month and NO GOOD PILLS? What were they thinking? And plastic surgery...oh dear...I hope it de-swells soon and you can breathe normally!

oilclothjunkie said...

yikes.
so, um why did you have a pre-train accident profile photo?
just wondering. ;)

LauraJ said...

Oh man! That looks ummm very upsetting...Hoping the month passes quickly for you. Hoping you get some sleep too.

velcro said...

All I can say is "Oww! Poor you. I hope the swelling goes down soon so you don't have to have an op"

kristi said...

Ow! I hope the swelling goes down soon. And I can't believe they didn't give you any good pills. Would ouzo help?

Stacy said...

oh my hell. That sucks. But your nose doesn't look too bad!! Is the kiddo remorseful? :)

kirsten said...

NOT your NOSE! It's your one good feature!

just kidding - ala little women.

that seriously sucks, though.

Mary said...

Oh no! That's terrible! I'm so sorry.

Heidijayhawk said...

oh laura! that totally sucks!!! i'm with michelle. why exzctly did you have a before profile? were you expecting to have to look longingly at your cute old nose?

Mebsmommy said...

I'm so sorry about your bog 'ole honkin schnauzer. No pain meds, though,...... that's a total injustice.

Have you taught your son about the 'eye for an eye' theory?

Angelina said...

I'm sure I'm the only one here that feels this way, but, I love nose bumps! No really,I actually have one myself. My cousin has an even more pronounced one and I think it's gorgeous- very Roman. classic.

I can understand not being thrilled with getting a bump on your nose when you were perfectly happy with no bump.

Plus there's the awful pain and no breathing part which my nose bump doesn't do. So all I can say is I'm so sorry!!!

Especially about no good meds.

Don't you have any ouzo around the house?

cheryl said...

wow. See how you are? Didn't you jinx yourself at the beginning of the year? This was SUPPOSED to be the year of NO INJURIES. Streisand nose? I think not. You poor dear. And oilcloth junkie raises a very good question. why DID you have a pre-train nose shot? LMAO.

kirsty said...

*shakes head , mumbling to self* I knew it, oh I just KNEW it...

Consolation : has your singing voice improved any with it's new nasal resonance? There could be a whole new career ahead of you.

paper. string. cloth said...

I love that the photo that was previously used to illustrate how much you hated your new hair is now used to illustrate how much you loved your old nose!
Don't fret, you are MILES and MILES away from Barbara......
Leah xx

Ali said...

Poor you. And no drugs is just plain mean. Hope it heals fast.

Is he still allowed to play trains?

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

you are kidding me? You have the worst luck of anyone I know. At least it's not your foot????
oh.....it's Aaron out of town? Crap.

lera said...

You poor thing. I hope the swelling goes down quickly so you can at least breathe again. (And I hope the bump goes away on its own. I can't believe you have to wait a month!)

Fidget said...

oh arghhh! I hope it stops hurting soon

Mia said...

The bastard!!!!!!

Really tho, i agree with the others.. it doesn't look so bad.. must be the frozen berry ice packs are working :)

Chara Michele said...

Ouchers! You poor thing!

If it makes you feel any better, when I was in junior high I ran straight into my dogs head (long story)... Apparently german shepherds are known for having really hard skulls and I can attest to that! It looked pretty silly at first, but now you can't even tell that anything happened to my nose. I bet once the swelling goes down it will go back to normal.

dee said...

remember the Brady Bunch when Marcia didn't go out with the nerdy guy ('something suddenly came up')so she could go out with the jock. then she got hit by the football in the nose... okay at least your nose doesn't look like hers did.

Did that help?

Can't say I didn't try.

myra said...

Oh no! Hope it heals up nicely and the bump goes away.

LLA said...

holy freaking crud...

I know I'm late to the party - but still wanted to pass along my greatest sympathies to you...

(and damn - I swear, you all are the original "if it can go horribly wrong, it certainly will!" family! Who knew Mike's tender was so lethal....)