Rumor has it across the internet that you intend on canceling The Class.
This is, perhaps, the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life (read: a crock of shit).
In a day and age where networks are rushing-rushing-rushing to put any ridiculous Average Joe (read: Blow Joe) onto television in a reality series (read: crappy television), the sitcom is a dying art. Specifically, the sitcom that caters to people that have more than three brain cells.
Let's lay it on the line CBS: I'm a nerd. My husband is a nerd. We are striving (yes, striving) to raise nerdy children.
We are people that like to think. People who enjoy witty banter. People who understand mathlete jokes. And most importantly, people who enjoy the usage of colorful language.
And we aren't the only ones! Have you forgotten that The Class won The Best New Comedy Award for The People's Choice Awards last year? Have you?
Is it really your desire to be known as the dumbass network to outbid all the other networks in order to acquire The Class only to cancel it after one season? A year from now, do you want The Class to be shown on Brilliant But Canceled and have everyone talking about what a utter and complete failure CBS is a network?
Because if you cancel The Class that is exactly what will happen.
Did Benjamin Franklin quit trying to discover electricity after the first try? No, he did not.
Did the music industry drop Nirvana after one album? No, they did not. (And where would we be without Nevermind? That album changed the course of music forever.)
Don't you understand, CBS? The Class totally rocks and you are being indecisive. Over what?
Are you scared of success? Because that's the only logical conclusion for your inability to immediately renew the contract of The Class.
The world needs more laughter. And you can make that happen.
P.S. In normal situations, I would also chime with who's dick do I need to suck off to make this happen. Unfortunately, given that I am married and this is Hollywood, I haven't said that due to the fear that someone's actually going to take me up on it. But please note, the sentiment is there and that's how strongly I feel.