Saturday, January 13, 2007

Yo, Yo, This Hard-Core Ghetto Gangster Image Takes a lot of Practice

We braved the torturous weather to get haircuts today. Yeah, I'm crazy.

You know what else is crazy? Those motherfuckers that dilute my windshield wiper fluid at the places that I get my oil changed out. Crazy bastards.

So, back to the haircuts. Right.

I told my hair lady (that's her name: hair lady) that my current shampoo changed their formula and now my dandruff is beginning to come back and my hair looks greasy within 12 hours shampooing.

Hi, my name is Laura. I write about my dandruff issues.

Anyway, she shampooed my hair with something different, cut off three inches and blow dried it. I loved it. My hair was light and fluffy, no fly aways, perfect.

So, I bought some of the new shampoo and we drove down street so Aaron could clean the windshield.

Well, wouldn't you know it, I started itching. All over my face, my scalp, in my ears.

So I started reading the new shampoo and conditioner ingredients and what do they contain?

Wheat.

Wheat.

For those of you in the back: WHEAT.

So we had to go back to the hair salon place for me to return them. It took 15 minutes and three people reading ingredients to find one shampoo and conditioner that doesn't contain wheat.

(If you are late the game: I'm allergic to wheat. I also have dandruff issues, in case you didn't pick up on that one.)

So when we got home I immediately had to take a shower to wash all that crappy wheat off of me. I also had to use my old shampoo and conditioner because Aaron wasn't about to deal with me having another possible allergic reaction.


See the fly aways? Damn fly aways.

Damn wheat.

19 comments:

lera said...

wheat? in shampoo? uhhhh! where does the madness end??????

(oh, and it really irritates me when they dilute my windshield wiper fluid, too! that's just wrong!)

Angela said...

shampoo wheat?! Wheaties.
You're funny.
Wheat and allergies are not.
You're still real purty, fly aways or not. :)
Dude. that's poetry.
:P

PamKittyMorning said...

Wow, how weird is it that shampoo would contain wheat?

And my friend, how bad is your karma?

Chickenbells said...

Crazy...what's next? Dairy and meat in there too??

cheryl said...

omg. you even have to watch your shampoo????????? you poor soul.

your hair looks cute!

kirsten said...

i hate gluten. my gluten-free kiddo has forced me to find gluten-free toothpaste, too. even some soda has gluten in it. SODA!!! you never know.

kristi said...

WTF!??? Wheat in shampoo? What fool came up with that idea? Surely the other 30 ingredients in there can do whatever job the wheat was meant to do. Things like this make the think the universe is just screwing with us, y'know...?

kristi said...

And things like my typing "the" instead of "me." Sigh.

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

OMG! I about pee'd reading your post today. You funny grill.........

Sorry about the agriculture in your shampoo, but your hair looks cute anyway.

amy h said...

I had no idea there was wheat in SHAMPOO. Also, I can never control flyaways with shampoo or conditioner. I have to have product. (What a silly word: product.)

And I made a small effort to try to make a gluten-free snack for tomorrow, but I can't figure it out. Nothing SAYS wheat or gluten, but only one thing explicitly says GLUTEN-FREE. Here are the ingredients: light cream cheese, skim milk, chili sauce, black olives, green onions, mozzarella, pepperoni, corn-tortilla scoops (which oddly, do not say wheat on the label). I'm sure it's hiding somewhere though -- and who knows what other allergens. I won't be offended at all if you don't eat it. :)

TinkerBlue said...

I have a intolerance to wheat, not an allergy, and it never occured to me to check my shampoo! But I love that my grocery store now has a wheat/gluten free section.

LLA said...

so often when I read your posts I have two very conflicting reactions...

the first is that I just want to hug you and say "oh honey"....

the second is I laugh out loud... (not AT you, you understand - at the way in which you manage to make PITA situations humorous in the retelling. I'm more laughing NEAR you...)


What great hair you have! natural waves? I'd kill for a natural wave (or artifical waves, or basically anything other than the stick straight wispy stuff I've got...)

patrice said...

I love seeing pictures of you! And I love reading your blog!
Patrice

nuttnbunny said...

So I ran straight into the bathroom to check my bottles. Have you tried Aveda's scalp benefit? I have the giant jugs of shampoo and conditioner and a read of the label illuminates no wheat.

monica said...

I'm going to check my shampoo now. Wheat? why? just in case people feel hungry and can't be asked going to the grocery store?

Angelina said...

It's the cold weather, right? Because my dandruff "issues" (which I would prefer to categorize as calamities) are back too since it's gotten super cold. I can't bear the thought that my shampoo is no longer working well on me because I've already tried about everything I could find.

I get very tired of my scalp. I can't wait to hear if this new shampoo works or not.

Marsha said...

When I lived in Italy, my italian friends recommended rubbing a little olive oil into the scalp before bed every night and then shampooing it out in the morning. Of course they have olive oil for everything, even kids have vitamin enriched olive oil that is stired into the jars of baby food. I love Italy.

Cathy said...

What an incredible pita!
The last suggestion about olive oil is not bad. The only reason I make soap now is because regular soap makes my skin itch. I don't make shampoo, even though I should, and my scalp itches like crazy. When you shampoo, you strip your scalp of all the oil, making it itchy dry. Then the oil glands work overtime and you end up with oily hair. Here is a suggestion that may or may not work for you (it's worth a try), use conditioner as a shampoo. Yes, it does clean your hair. I use a cheap conditioner (Suave) that does NOT have dimethicone (coats the hair too much), then I shampoo about every 3-4 days depending on how I feel.

luckybeans said...

ummm, what is this "shampoo" and "conditioner" whereof you speak? Is that what non-lazy-ass people with lurvely hair like you do instead of cutting it all off and rubbing a bar of soap on their head?

May have to consider that...