Friday, June 30, 2006

Upside Down, Boy You Turn Me Inside Out and Round and Round

It is Friday again, which means it is time to discuss another Work in Progress. May I present...


My broken foot!

Yes, I said broken foot.

Which means I'm in the process of healing said broken foot.

Stupid piece of nature.

I went to my family doctor Wednesday afternoon and told him what happened. He looked through my file and saw that the specialist who was suppose to go over my x-rays taken on Tuesday didn't put any notes in my chart. Then he went looking for the radiology report for the previous day, because the results should have been there, but there was no report. So the doctor ordered another set of x-rays.

Because I was in a wheelchair (because everyone has to make this situation as dramatic as possible) and the door to our shoebox waiting room wouldn't close, I heard the doctor exclaim down the hall, "Wow! It really is broken!"

Immediately following, "Uh-oh. It can't be broken that way!"

The doctor was convinced that something was wrong with the x-rays and order another set of x-rays. When that set came back, my Very Christian Doctor reviewed them and mumbled shit under his breath.

Turns out not only did I break a bone in my foot, I broke it in the worst possible way.

I broke a bone in half, a very clean break with no ragged edges (ragged edges heal better). In the location that it is broken is called a Jones Fracture. According to my doctor, a Jones Fracture runs the risk of not having proper blood flow and not healing itself, in which case I may have to have surgery to pin the two pieces together.

Typically, when you break a bone in your foot you get a walking boot. But noooooooooo, not me. I have to have a fucking cast because I can't put any weight on it.

I'll go in Thursday for another round of x-rays and get a new cast (my doctor doesn't like the angle my foot is at in this one because it doesn't fully extend my calf muscle, but due to the break I couldn't hold my foot in the proper angle). If all goes well, I'll have a cast for a total of six weeks and then get a walking boot (for how long, I have no clue).

Until then, I'm camped out on the couch and trying to learn how to balance. Which is rather ridiculous, considering it was my crap-ass balancing that got me in this situation in the first place.

23 comments:

kristi said...

"That's the suckiest sucker that ever did suck." -- Homer Simpson

Crap! Sorry to hear about your foot. Surely this gets you out of the IL visit, doesn't it? You are long overdue for some good karma. How are the little monsters (I mean, your adorable children) dealing with this?

Angela said...

Oh no baby. Oh no. That is awful. 8-( I hope you don't need surgery. Is your cousin still giving you babysitting? I'm so sorry. I'm sending you get better fast vibes a.s.a.p.

Jenijen said...

OH NO!! I'm so sorry. Email me your mailing address: I want to send you things!

Kristy said...

Oh nooooo!!!!
I thought my broken toe was bad enough!Please excuse the stifled laugh-it's the way to tell it!

Amy said...

What an adventure! I'm really beginning to believe you about being tested. So are you going to Michigan or shall I bring you a get well present when I am in KC?

Emy said...

Man, that sucks! Its like my worst fears happened to you. But like everyone else pointed out, maybe this will get you out of visiting the inlaws! Maybe your husband will still go and take the kids so you can have time alone! :D
I agree about the crutches thing. They give those things to people who are clumsy in the first place?!? That makes no sense. Maybe the fear of falling on them and getting hurt worse makes you want to be off of them sooner. I bet that is the medical association's secret evil ploy! Or to cripple us further. Are they wooden or metal? I'll have to show you what I have done with my lovely wooden ones.

lera said...

i've been wondering about you!!! i can't believe how bad it is. that is going to be miserable with a seriously broken foot and 2 children for the next 6 wks! yikes!

i hope you aren't feeling any pain! are you being drugged????

get better SOON! and don't leave us hanging with your progress!

(i changed my blog, so check me out when you get a chance
www.queenofplenty.wordpress.com)

Joni-MI said...

Just a note to tell you I can SO sympathize with you: I broke my ankle in a very bad way while seven months preggo with my youngest (now ten year old) son.

OH IT STUNK BIG TIME. And, I had to have a cast (purple no less) from my knee to my ankle in the SUMMER and after wearing it for two weeks and using some (too tall) crutches my orthepedic doctor tells me I have to get screws put in because it wasn't healing....OH GOODY. SURGERY WHILE PREGGO! So, I had the surgery, with a spinal (it was actually kind of fun to be awake for it!) and then it was physical therapy, a few more casts and I was on crutches for six more weeks, followed by the boot! (The lovely boot.) On my already large foot, which was SWOLLEN from pregnancy AND from the surgery and the cast...GOODY! (Can't tell you how embarrassed I was because I needed SIZE ELEVEN SHOES after getting the cast off!) Talk about feeling ugly: hugely preggo and with size eleven godawful ugly tennies...ewwww!

BUT...the GOOD THING is that I recovered and learned to walk on it again BEFORE baby needed to be pushed out into the world. One positive thing that was very unexpected was that walking on crutches was so much good exercise for me that I weighed slightly less after I had the baby than I did when I got preggo! It probably helped that you can't carry much food or drink while you are on crutches and my older kids were in school all day so most of my cravings in the last months of pregnancy went unsatisfied!

I have some tips for you if you would need any living like this for awhile. How old are your kids?

PS: ABOUT THOSE CRUTCHES (can you believe they let me leave the emergency room preggo and without a pair of crutches? My poor hubby had to carry me up six steps into the house, poor fellow!) Anyway, crutches REALLY need to be PROPERLY adjusted for your height, unknowingly I was using them for someone who was six feet tall. Of course, no one told us this at the pharmacy where we bought them and they came with no instructions.

So I said all that to say this: SOMEONE (a Physical therapist?) needs to PROPERLY TEACH YOU how to use them. Steps were a cinch once I learned how to approach them properly! I could go up, I could go down! I could almost run on those things once I learned how to PROPERLY USE THEM. I cannot stress this enough, especially if you are going to be on them for awhile. Your orthopedic surgeon might be able to help you with this, too. My crutches scared me so bad I thought I was going to fall right on the baby in my belly! SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG but I sure do know what you're going to be going through!

Joni-MI said...

Oh, and I'm no expert but I would say from my experience that being in a vehicle for THAT LONG would be HELL. I would seriously say that you will even have trouble sleeping!

(I live in Michigan and we go several times a year to Alabama to visit relatives and it's twelve hours so I know what kind of ride you are talking about!)

LLA said...

Holy broken foot, Batman!

Look at you, you overacheiver, you! You can't just break your foot, you have to go for the all fancy broken foot version....

All teasing aside - I am so sorry to hear this, and I can't believe that you have to go get another cast (maybe you can get a spiffy pink one this time, or something...)

Deepest, deepest sympathies.... and if you are giving out your mailing address, I'd love to have it, too....

manda said...

Oh no!!! I always said that nature is an evil fucker!
I hope that your poor foot mends mighty fast and that in the meantime you have everyone running around after you.

Green Kitchen said...

What's up with your karma? I was telling my friend, the one that got dumped by her husband when the second kid was 6 months old, about your blog thinking it might make her feel better about her situation. Is that a bad thing? To feel better about where you are at by reading about someone else's miseries? No, really, it's your writing, your humor in the face of life's difficulties that keeps us coming back. You're inspirational in a sick-black-humor sort of way, which is just the way I like 'em. The really extra nice, honestly pleasant mom that lives next door and seems to have everything in order doesn't interest me at all--I avoid her. I peek out the door before getting the mail so I don't have to talk about the weather. Anyway, I hope for a speedy recovery for you because kids can only watch so many videos and/or fix themselves so many cereal and potato chips meals.

marshamlow said...

So sorry Laura. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I am also looking forward to looking for cool Japanese craft books to buy for you in Tokyo. A cast in summer, an immobile mommy, what could be worse. I hope you got some great pain meds.

lindiepindie said...

I'm grimmacing. It doesn't sound good. I take it you aren't going to MI if you need a new cast. It sounds like your doctor is taking good care of you, though and that is a GOOD thing.

Alicia A. said...

Oh. My. God. I leave for a week and look what I miss. Aaron's in town?

I'll be back tomorrow, I'll call and see what you need.

Did they give you some Lortabs at least? Wait, you're not allergic to narcotics are you?!

Sandrine (alias Didine ♥ ) said...

OOOh my sweet Laura ! I'm soooooo sad for you ! I can't believe it ! I hope soooooooooooooo much you're going to feel better and you won't need surgery ! I cross my fingers but first of all all my prayers are for you :) I send you all my best wishes ever for your recovery !! Take care :) Smooches from Belgium ! PS I'm going to send your parcel to make you have a smile !

Bitterbetty said...

Oh my lord! What in the world? Holy Mother of Pearl!
Jeezus H...
You have all my sympathy and if this doesn't get you out of the Michigan trip on it's own.. slip the doctor a 20 and make him swear there is no way in Hades you would survive it..
Some good should come from all this BAD.

diana said...

please send me your address..

Toni said...

Oh man! Major bummer. I'm so, so sorry. Here's a {{{hug}}}. Could I have your address too?

Alicia A. said...

Ok, now I'm stuck here in St. Louis. A good friend's dad just died and we're staying for the funeral. I'm not sure when we'll be back, but later in the week.

I'll call asap when we're home.

Julie said...

Oh my god..you poor thing! I really hope you dont have to have surgery.
Sending you loads of positive healing loving vibes...feel beter soon and make sure you are looked after properly!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheryl said...

oh.my.god. you POOR thing!!! Well, now you have leverage for the next time your kids turn into devil children - "remember that time I broke my foot because of YOUR behavior?!?" kidding of course. sort of.

:( that just plain sucks ass.

email me your address and I will send you something fun.

Monica said...

OH dear. I'm really sorry and wish you the fastest healing ever...

Try arnica tablets. They're omeopathic thingies, taste of nothing and my midwife recommended after the C-section for fast healing. I was all sealed up in no time.

Good luck anyway.