Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, Comin' for to Carry Me Home

Earlier today I posted about the... incident and begged for help.

Aaron called soon after my post, and I told him what happened (including the part of my soul JUMPING OUT OF MY BODY when I discovered the incident).

I mismashed his advice with everyone else's; I put on my super-thick rubber gloves, nested two freezer bags inside of one another, inverted it and grabbed the trap by the corner, then pulled the bags back over the incident. I never had to touch it; but boy-oh-boy, did I ever get a good look.

Just so everyone knows, the incident was very smart. Its little arm was outreached very far and I'm surprised that it lost its life, not just an arm.

Anyway.

My dear friend Kim, who I have known for years, unknowingly (perhaps, actually, knowingly) guilted me into treating the incident with respect and remorse.

Tonight after I put the boys to bed, I put on my leather gardening gloves, grabbed a shovel and searched for an appropriate place to bury the incident (hey, it's better to call it the incident instead of it's original name, Little Fucker. Have some respect for the deceased). It took four tries before I found its proper burial ground (ie, the place where I could actually dig a hole deep enough in the dark, where the kids usually don't play).

So I told the incident that I'm sorry its life is over; I hope it finds peace, solace and top-quality, gourmet, gluten-free chocolate in its next life. May its next life be happy, fulfilled and more peaceful than its old life.

And I said it all with a straight face and no sarcastic remarks. And I meant it.

[By the way, I was going to bury the dead black bird too, but it was gone. May you have a wonderful next life as well bird.]

9 comments:

Jen said...

you told me not to but i looked yesterday. gross picture. i am sorry for the complete awful grossness of the experience.

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

I am sorry to say that I would have put him in the garbage can outside. You poor thing.
And yes, I said Putt putt. :)

angela said...

What a gross and nice thing to do. You earth goddess. Was there any chanting or candles involved?8-) Glad it is all taken care of.

kristi said...

Poor mousie. I'm glad it got a decent burial. Now I'm feeling a little guilty about the way we disposed of the dead mousie we found drowned in the dog's "outdoor" water dish.

There seem to be a lot of suspicious deaths occurring when the dog is around. Hmmmm....

Amy said...

I know you were freakin out but I'm smiling a big smile after reading those posts. It's funny from a distance :-) Sorry you had to deal with it on your own. Maybe one of your boys will grow up unsqueamish to be a help -- but I hope not.

Kim said...

Woo-HOOOOOOOOOO, as Alicia likes to say.
I laughed and almost cried, and am so happy you buried it.
No worries if it lacked candles and chanting... I was chanting by firelight for you, LittleFuckerIncident, and Blackbird.

There just might be a spot in a coven for you out there in the Belt Buckle of Kansas.

diana said...

yucky !!!

lindiepindie said...

Okay, the words, "where the kids usually don't play" has got me a little worried since I know my boys would find it. Not to scare you or anything - it's just that my guys are diggers. And I would have called my neighbor to come get the corpse because I'm just a wimp. I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself. This is one reason we need our hubbies in town with us!

Tom said...

nice job handling the incident........i don't think i could've done that. and you are an amazing person for actually burying it and stuff. i would've had to pay someone to move it. and that wouldn't include proper burial.....