Tuesday, January 15, 2008

There Must be Some Misunderstanding (Whew-Whooo-Whooo) There Must be Some Kind of Mistake (Whew-Whooo-Whooo)

I just got home from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with Mastoiditis.

What? You don't know what Mastoiditis is?

It's an infection of the ear bones.


See, I've been having this on-again, off-again affair with a fever for over a month. I really didn't think much of it, just figured I was fighting something off, no big deal. Just a fever. Nothing else. Just a tiny, harmless, occasional fever.

On Sunday my ear hurt. I thought I was getting some sort of funky ear infection because it hurt, but not in the normal way. I started popping ibuprofen and began taking my Nystatin (anti-yeast medicine my alternative doctor provides for ear infections) and went about my business.

Which included lots of bitchin' about my ear.

Today is day three of this ear thing and it's just getting worse. So, I decided to look it up on the internet. My self-diagnoses resulted in the interents opinion of "URGET! GO SEE DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY!" After doing some additional research I figured, fine.

My regular doctor doesn't work Tuesdays (and is switching practices in February, that bastard) so I went to see someone else at a different office.

Someone else who decided to BITCH ME OUT for not seeing a doctor in a month. Seriously? Don't ya think it's a little extreme to need to be seen for just an occasional fever?

(Um. Maybe don't answer that.)

So! Anyway!

Mastoiditis. Yeah. IT FUCKING ROCKS. Because not only is it an infection in the bones of the ear, if it goes untreated it can spread to the skull and to the brain and then you get to have brain surgery!

Personally, I think the whole thing is hilarious. Because, come one, I can't get a simple ear infection? Or just a really bad one? I have to go get an infection in my bones. How does one do that anyway? Get an infection in bones?

So I'm on an antibiotic. We have a huge stock of benedryl and epipens awaiting any allergic reaction. In all seriousness an antibiotic should clear this whole matter up and it should never come up again.

And the antibiotic comes with an extra bonus: nausea and diarrhea. Which translates to extra weight loss.


(Really, I feel fine. My ear hurts. That's all.)


kristi said...

Holy crap. That sounds painful. Take your drugs, and take care of yourself. And kick the yelling doctor to the curb!

Angelina said...

I feel pretty churlish now for thinking I am having a shitty week.

I hope the infection goes away super quick!

Alicia A. said...

Lady- you all find the most bizarre medical problems to infect yourselves with. Stop. it.

Ok seriously- feel better. It sounds painful.

Bitterbetty said...

That is scary sounding, painful sounding and weird sounding..

Must Be Capello.
How do you always manage it... and manage to make it sound so damn funny too?

Frogdancer said...

You've got to stop being such a perfectionist. It's not necessary to outdo the whole world in health problems.

Besides, I have a sneaking suspicion that brain surgery isn't all the fun it's cracked up to be.

Chickenbells said...

Wow...surely the yelling doctor know that he shouldn't be over stressing your ears in any way!

I've been feeling run down myself...although no fever...and no damned weight loss either. I hope that the antibiotics work well for you...and the ear bone infection goes far far away...never to return again!

amy h said...

I had no idea one could get an ear bone infection. How bizarre. Leave it to you. :) I am glad you went to the doctor though. I don't want to hear about any upcoming brain surgeries, that is for sure! I hope the antibiotics do the trick without causing too many other problems.

Leigh Ann said...

Doesn't the dr. know you've got two kids and a hubby who travels tons? Geez. I wouldn't be heading to the dr. anytime soon for a fever either. Of course, I don't think anyone can top a bone infection!

Cheers! LA

Kristy said...

How come I'm not suprised?! Hope the weight loss goes well!! x

Ali said...

Okay, you win the 'bizarre ailment of the week award' (again!).

Feel well soon.

AnnieB said...

how horrible - hope the antibiotics kick it into outer space

monica said...

oh dear.

Have you ever thought about exorcism? just kidding! hope you feel better soon!!!

LauraJ said...

I once got an ear infection from wearing ear plugs...why? So I could sleep in while Aaron and his dad were playing in the living room.

Poppy & Mei said...

What the? How did the infection get in your ear bone?
And there you were "listening" to me bitch & moan all night/morning long. Have a little lie down...Xxx

LLA said...

oh honey!!!!

You know I am freaking out on your behalf b/c of the SF inner ear virus that knocked me on my ass last summer. I wouldn't wish that on ANYONE (and trust me, there are a lot of people I really dislike... so that's saying something!)

I'm so sorry to hear this. Take your meds. Don't be allergic to them. Feel better NOW!


misschris said...

Oh for heaven's sake. I've never even heard of that. Here's to a killer round of antibiotics and hoping you feel better soon...I sure do hope getting better actually *feels* like getting better, and not worse. Ack.

Chara Michele said...

What is up with this week? Seriously... Couldn't it be a bit nicer to all of us!

I hope you feel completely better soon! Very much hoping that your antibiotics don't give you any allergic reactions & that they work!

Stacy said...

Oh my hell. I'm not even going to ask how you got an infection IN THERE. Get rid of the bizarro infection soon!

hazeljoy said...

ow, i fucking love you. i'd been having a crappy afternoon but you've made me laugh out loud (not at you, with you of course). get well soon xx

Marshamlow said...

I hope someday they will find an antibiotic that does not make you sick. Hope you feel better soon.

Rachel said...

Ok man, you seriously need to meet my mom. I think you two could cover every major health issue known in the free world! She had west nile a few years back..for real! I am setting it up soon!

But I do hope you feel better...are we canceling play date then?

Dana said...

You seriously crack me up! You write about things . . . things that can really be scary, horrible, or just a real downer . . . in such a funny way.

But, I really do hope that the antibiotic does the trick. I'll be thinking of you until I read that your cured of your ear bone infection!

Feel better soon.

Lisa said...

Wow, if you didn't have bad luck you wouldn't have any some times! Wishing you a safe and speedy recovery. Not an infection to mess around with for sure. Hope the antibiotic does the trick with as few side effects as possible.

Crockpot Lady said...

what?! an ear-bone infection. you're totally making that up.

I hope you feel better soon, and have no crazy reactions to the abx.

PLO said...

You take care of yourself! I am surprised you aren't on intravenious antibiotics. Maybe I should have this two week cough checked out...

twolimeleaves said...

Our dog had this. Then it got into his skull and we had to have him put to sleep.

Just sayin'.

Get better, Laura.

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

you'll do anything for attention won't you?

I hope you're feeling better really fast.

lera said...


I once had to have my mastoids xrayed (in college) for repeated ear infections. I bet an infection in there would be terrible! Feel better soon and I'm happy the antibiotics haven't killed you :-)

sltbee69 said...

Yikes! Now I'm wondering if this odd and random shooting pain I've been having in my ears is that? Here's hoping the AB does the trick and that you are able to keep the weight off that you are losing from it.

sugarandsnails said...

Oh my gosh, you are so brave! I'd be freaking out. Get well soon!

Jessica said...

Oh my heavens that sounds horrible. I hope that you feel better soon.