Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Let Me Run With You Tonight, I'll Take You On a Moonlight Ride

The leaves have fallen, the gluten-free goodie bags for trick or treaters have been made, the costumes have been washed, dried and ready to go.

I love Halloween.

I know that it seems odd for us to trick or treat, given the children's harsh allergies (hello, I had to WASH their costumes). But just because they can't eat any of their treats, except for dum dum lollipops and swedish fish, doesn't mean they should miss out of one of the greatest nights for being a kid.

Monday, October 30, 2006

It's a Dead Man's Party, Who Could Ask for More?

We spent the first part of the morning "decorating"...


Aaron and Griffin made quite the Halloween decorations this weekend...


... and Griffin even "helped" me with this pain in the ass cute bat...


... which required a lot of x-acto knife work. Oy. I still have blisters.

Friday was great -- I spent the afternoon out of the house running errands By Myself. The joy.

On Saturday, while we were loading the children in the van, on the way to the pumpkin patch, I felt something on my chest, which I swatted away. As I was buckling Darwin in, I felt something furry on my arm... it was a massive honey bee. At least three feet long. And beadie eyes bigger than marbles. Honest. And very pissed off. And the fucker stung me. Which sent me into hysterics...

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRROOOOOOONNNNNN!!!! AAAAAAARRRRRRROOOOOONNNNN!!! GET THE EPI-PEN! EEEEEEPPPPPPEEEEE PEEEEEENNNN! I'M GOING TO DIE! I'M GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"What?"

"GET THE EPI-PEN! EEEEPPPPPEEEE-PEEEEN! I'M GOING TO DIE!"

"Why do you need the EpiPen?

"BECAUSE I'M GOING TO DIE!" ::sobbing::

Hmm. Yeah. We're really organized in this house. Have I mentioned how fabulous our communication skills are in the midst of a crisis?

Anyway, amazingly enough -- I didn't die. And I didn't get the EpiPen either. Aaron gave me a triple dose of Benadryl because he didn't want to take me to the hospital (ah, such a nice, loving husband -- yes?). And then I took a four hour nap.

I woke up just in time to make an appearance (sans costume) at Alicia's fabulous Halloween party (which I also didn't take a ton of photos. I'm such a disappointment this weekend).

Then Sunday we finally made it to the pumpkin patch, followed by a birthday party.

No wonder I'm feeling like I need today to recover from the weekend.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

O-oh, it's a Picture of Perfection; A-ah, and the Postcard's Gonna Read, "Fuck Yeah, We Can Live Like This"

After multiple failed attempts (including a honey bee bite yesterday), we finally made it to the pumpkin patch today.


A full-winded version coming later; but for now, enjoy the 40 additional photos on flickr.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Whispers, Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

Aaron got home last night at 12:30. But he's home. And safe. And he's under the impression he gets to do what he wants to do today.

Boy, is he in for a massive dose of reality.

Another Friday, another Work In Progress, another week that has passed where my secret project is not yet revealed.


But we're working on it. We're cookin' it up. Hopefully it'll be done soon...

Now, if you'll excuse me... I need to go do something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with Taking Care of Children.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

No Need to Talk it Right Here Just Park it Right Here Keep it Undercover

The Universe is playing a cruel, horrible joke on. You hear me, Universe? CRUEL AND HORRIBLE.

Now, apparently, I've got a stomach bug as well...

Eight hours, eight hours and Aaron will be home. Eight hours, eight hours.


We are reaching in the bottom of the barrel for entertainment, folks.

Yesterday while I was at Starbucks, the helper lady asked...

"When are you due?"
"Huh?"
"When are you due?"
"Huh?
"When are you due?"
"Oh. Oh. OH."

I wasn't offended, but THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY, insinuating such a thing. Everyone knows that the world would rotate off its axis and spiral towards the sun in a flame of glory if I ever got pregnant again.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

M-M-M-O-R-M-O-R-N-I-N-G

Well, I must be feeling better (despite the secondary sinus infection) because I have been a-cleanin' and a-scrubbin' all morning.

Kill the germs! Kill the germs!

The floors have been mopped and vacuumed. Everything has been scrubbed with a bleach cleaner. And the bathroom, the bathroom, is now gleaming.

Germs be gone!

Whilst I was sick, I became highly addicted to Perez Hilton and William Sledd. I know... but every girl needs snark and gay men's fashion advice sometimes.

(Obviously, I'm trying really hard not to bitch and complain... 'cause there's only so many ways I can say "the kids are sick," "they are driving me crazy" and "someone please remind me why I intentionally did this to myself.")

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Hangin' Tough

So... guess when Aaron's coming home.

Go ahead. Guess.

Thursday.

Thursday.

And you know I can't have any ouzo, what with this sinus infection and all.

Maybe some more of this will help me cope...


... then again, maybe not. It's not a husband.

Darwin slept in the bed with me last night because he's sick (of course he's sick; why wouldn't he be?). He has a sinus infection and double ear infection.

My life is so much fun. I'm guessing you're really jealous right now, aren't you? Admit it, you're green with envy.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Two Dozen Other Stupid Reasons Why We Should Suffer For This

We are under attack! Under Attack! Run for your lives! The birds! The birds!


I know, I know, it's "the glare." Well, it would be "the glare" if it was only one window. But it's eight windows distributed on each side of the house.

Perhaps they just want to help me prime the entry room. Hmmmm....

We are finally doing better. And by "we" I mean me and Griffin; still congested but no more fevers. Darwin's sick now. Up at 5:05 in the morning ready to cough, puke and party.

Welcome to my new mantra: this is life with kids, this is life with kids, this is life with kids...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is how the day is going...


...
at least he's specifically requesting it. He "wants to calm down."

Obviously, Daddy needs to come home.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

C'est La Vie, C'est La Vie, That's Just the Way it Goes (That's Right)

One minute, Griffin is doing this...


... the next minute he is rolling on the floor and biting his brother.

Fuck.

I've written before about Griffin and his Sensory Integration Disorder and not-fully-diagnosed "borderline autism." It has been getting better. But then there are days. Days. Days like today where banging my head against the wall sounds like a really good idea.

Well, it must have been a good idea because Griffin took it upon himself, after apologizing to Darwin, to bang a hard dinosaur against his head. When I took it away, it starting punching himself in the face. Lovely.

So I did what any well-trained parent would do. I got out a big quilt, made him lay on the edge with his arms down and I rolled him up and sat him on the couch for ten minutes.

It totally worked. He's been good and behaving ever since.

But still. Fuck yo, that was some tough shit right there.

(You may notice ::cough, cough:: over there on the right column there's an ad... I've been approved [I say approved because it makes me feel special] from BlogHerAds to display advertising. After today, I think the funds are going to Occupational Therapy for Griffin. Or, you know, food. That pesky eating habit.)

Saturday, October 21, 2006

You Made Me Promises, Promises

Um. Hi. Aaron didn't come home last night. Nope. Nuh-uh.

He's coming home Tuesday. Tuesday. Sweet baby Jesus, Tuesday.

::cough, cough, hack:: "Mommy?" ::cough:: "You feeling any better?"
::hack, hack, cough, sneeze:: "No. You?" ::hack::
::sneeze, cough, cough:: "Me neither." ::cough, cough::

It's gonna be a lovely weekend.

Friday, October 20, 2006

If You Talk Too Much My Head Will Explode

First of all -- just a little clarification from yesterday, I did not leave my children unattended for three and a half hours. I'm not retarded, but thanks for the vote of confidence.

I'm not going to defend myself and my writing on my own blog, but I must say that person* got my panties in a knot with the sheer notion that I neglected my kids.

But then I got really excited -- my first piece of hate mail! FINALLY! It's about damn time, isn't it? It took well over a year. It makes me almost want to send them a gift, I'm so happy.

I'm still running a fever, but it's down to a much healthier 101.6. And now my nose is dripping (I think it's having a contest with the bathroom sink).

Both boys are coughing and I've had to shove their lungs back in on more than one occasion.

(You're a horrible mom! They need to have their lungs surgically placed back!)

Today is Friday, which means Work In Progress. Um, yeah. Between the garage sale last week and The Flu That Has Made Me The "Worst Mom EVER" (does that mean I get a trophy? I've never received a trophy before and I so desperately want one), not much creativity has been happenin' around here.

But the boys and I did manage to make some Halloween garlands...

Mine

Griffin's

Aaron should come home tonight, but his plane doesn't land until 11 p.m. And I'm making an appointment to go to my alternative doctor and get an I.V. bag tomorrow.

Which makes me so seriously excited. The I.V. bags knock the shit out of you... they have something like 1,000 time your daily allotment of vitamin C and other nutrients and it really helps me get over crap faster.

I've had a lot of people comment about how sick we get. Yeah, we get sick a lot. Back in the spring the boys and I had a blood test to see how our immune systems were functioning and all three were way below normal. On May 1st, I got the immune booster shot, to test it out, and had an allergic reaction to it, so the boys will not get it.

Believe it or not, I'm not as sick as I could be, so that shot is working.

But yes, we get sick a lot. It's part of our charm.

* Edited to add: I received an email, not in comments. Sorry for any confusion.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Black Hole Sun, Won't You Come Wash Away the Rain

This morning I passed out for three and a half hours. I awoke to a slight taptaptap on my cerebral cortex to realize it was the children banging my head with golf balls with requests of fruit punch.

My temperature is 103.4.

I'm having a hard time staying awake and dealing with The One Who Wants To Bite His Brother. And, really, would it be all that bad if I duct taped his mouth shut?

It's taking me over half an hour to unload and reload this dishwasher and that doesn't count breaks. Breaks. Yes, breaks. Because, you know, loading the dishwasher is that fucking difficult.

I hate being sick.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Things I've Never Seen Before, Behind Bolted Doors, Talent and Imagination

The flu/cold/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit has won. So fine we're sick. All of us. And it's fabulous. Copious amounts of medicine, bodily fluids, flushed cheeks. It's all just dandy.

So what's a sick nerd to do? Well, she finds an article on a non-profit Swiss organization that wants a new set of the seven wonders of the world and does massive amounts of research because:
A. she's a nerd
B. she likes research
C. she likes to share information with people (meaning you, right there, yes, you! sittting at your computer. I like to share information with you)

The original seven wonders of the ancient world are the Pyramids of Giza in Cairo, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon; the Statue of Zeus at Olympia; the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus; the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus; the Colossus of Rhodes and the Lighthouse of Alexandria.

Of these, only the Pyramids of Giza still stand.

Now, I can understand why someone would want a new list -- it would certainly drum up more tourism and finance restoration projects. But some of the 21 finalists are really out of place, in my opinion. But I'll let you make up your mind for yourself.

In alphabetical order, the 21 finalists for the new seven wonders of the world are:

1. Acropolis, Athens, Greece
Acropolis of Anthens is the best known high city of Greece. The earliest artifacts date back to Middle Neolithic era (approximately 7000 B.C.).

2. Alhambra, Granada, Spain
The Alhambra ("The Red Castle") in an ancient mosque was built between 1248 and 1354.

3. Angkor Wat temple, Cambodia
Built in the early 12th century, the Angkor Wat is the largest and best preserved temple in Cambodia. Appearing on the national flag, the Angkor Wat is the only one to have remained a religious center (first Hindu, then Buddhist) since it's construction.

4. Chichen Itza Aztec site, Yucatan, Mexico
From about 600 in the middle of the Maya Classic Period, Chichen Itza was a major city in the Yucatan. It contains many stone buildings including temples, palaces, stages, markets, baths and ballcourts.

5. Christ the Redeemer, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Proposed in 1921 and inaugurated in 1931, Christ the Redeemer is a large Art Deco style statue overlooking the city of Rio de Janeiro.

6. Colosseum, Rome
Construction began on the Flavian Amphitheatre (original name) in 70 A.D. and was completed in 80. Originally able to hold 50,000 spectators for gladiatorial contests and public spectacles. The last recorded games were held in the 6th century, well after the fall of Rome in 476.

7. Easter Island Statues, Chile
The Moai (Easter Island Statues) are monolithic carvings from compressed volcanic ash. The best accepted theory is the Moai were carved beginning 1000 A.D. by Polynesian colonizers. About one-fifth of the nearly 900 Moai are erected on the island. In addition to representing ancestors, the Moai are thought to have their own life force once erected on their ceremonial site.

8. Eiffel Tower, Paris
Built between 1887 and 1889 as an entrance arch for the Exposition Universelle, a World's Fair marking the centennial of the French Revolution.

9. Great Wall, China
The Great Wall is the world's longest man-made structure built between 220 and 200 B.C. to protect various dynaties from raids. Additions have been added as recently as 1640 A.D.

10. Hagia Sophia church, Istanbul, Turkey
Nothing remains of the church built on the same site, which was destroyed by fire in the 4th century. A second church was erected but destroyed by riots in 532. The Hagia Sophia was then built and dedicated in 537. The Hagia Sophia was originally an Eastern Orthodox church, converted to a mosque in 1453 and converted into a museum in 1935. It is commonly referred to as the eighth wonder of the world.

11. Kyomizu Temple, Kyoto, Japan
The Kiyomizu-dera is a Buddhist Temple dating back to 798. The temple takes it's name from the waterfall within the complex, literally meaning pure water.

12. Kremlin/St.Basil's, Moscow
Commissioned by Ivan the Terrible and built between 1555 and 1561, Saint Basil's Cathedral is a multi-tented church on the Red Square in Moscow.

13. Machu Picchu, Peru
Rediscovered in 1911 by an American archeologist (although it was never forgotten by locals), Machu Picchu is the most famous symbol of the Inca Empire. Believing to be dated to the 1400s, Machu Picchu was a country retreat for nobility.

14. Neuschwanstein Castle, Fussen, Germany
Built in the late 19th century, the Neuschwanstein Castle is the most photographed building in Germany and one of its busiest tourist attractions.

15. Petra ancient city, Jordan
Famous for the stone structures carved into rock, Petra is thought to date back to the Horites (cave dwellers) and predecessors of the Endomites. It has been inconclusive if Petra is mentioned in the Old Testament, for Petra is commonly identified as Sela which means rock.

16. Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
Consisting of three main pyramids -- Pyramid of Khufu, Pyramid of Cheops and Pyramid of Khafre -- as well as many queens pyramids, the Great Sphinx and other smaller buildings, the most active phase of building the pyramids was the 25th century B.C.

17. Statue of Liberty, New York
Gifted to the United States by France in 1885 as a commemorative of the centennial of the United States and as a gesture of friendship between the two nations. The Statue of Liberty stands in the mouth of the Hudson River in New York Harbor.

18. Stonehenge, Amesbury, United Kingdom
Located eight miles north of Salisbury, Stonehenge is believed to be erected between 2500 and 2000 B.C. although the circular earth bank and ditch is thought to be dated to 3100 B.C.

19. Sydney Opera House, Australia
Ground broke in 1959 and the Sydney Opera House was not completed until 1973 at the cost of $102 million. It is one of the most famous performing arts venues in the world.

20. Taj Mahal, Agra, India
Built between 1631 and 1654 as a mausoleum for the wife of Emperor Shāh Jahān, the Taj Mahal is actually an integrated complex of structures, with the mausoleum being the most familiar part of the conglomerate.

21. Timbuktu, Mali
Located 15 km north of the Niger River in Mali in West Africa, Timbuktu rose to fame as a trading post connecting Africa to Europe. It became a metaphor for distant exotic lands ("from here to Timbuktu") and is thought to be dated to 10th century.

You can vote (you! yes, you!) for your choices of the new seven wonders of the world at www.new7wonders.com

And no I haven't been compensated at all for this post (although it would be nice). This is just what nerds do. Especially when they have a Journalism degree. And they are sick. Like me.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

RoRoRoRock Then Bend My Knees, Every Time the Beat Drop

Apparently, Blogger is sick too and will not allow photo uploading today. I guess he's been up since 3 a.m. dealing with a vomiting child as well.

Yesterday I was so excited. Griffin wasn't feeling sick anymore, we ran a ton of errands and purchased the primer for entry room so I could finally (after a year of having the blue tape up) get that room painted.

I got the kids to bed and was able to get started downstairs around 9:30. I worked for two hours and discovered that I can't roll the walls because the texture plaster is a wee bit too delicate to the walls have to carefully brushed on. Lovely. But oh well. That's life. It takes time to do a job right, and do a job right I will.

Anyway, I got cleaned up and up to bed shortly after 1 a.m. (insane, I know) only to be woken up at 3 a.m. with a vomiting Griffin.

He's been up watching cartoons since then. I tried to cat nap, fairly unsuccessfully, and now I'm feeling grody too.

And now I'm just seething mad that I can't prime today.

I'm not mad that I'm sick. Or Griffin's sick. Or Darwin is starting to sound sick yet keeps requesting "wabbies" and I'm completely fearful of him throwing those up. I won't be mad if I have to clean such a mess up.

I just want to be productive. Sounds a bit selfish, but it's true.

Monday, October 16, 2006

When Life is too Much, Roll With it Baby; Don't Stop and Lose Your Touch, Oh No Baby

We did have the garage sale Saturday. It nearly killed me (with all that carrying stuff up and down the stairs. Ouch).

For starters, the boys really wanted to "help." Which was fine for Griffin...


...until he decided to spill all the golf balls in the garage sale area.


(It's a Capello family requirement that all garage sales Must Include Golf Balls. My dad is a golfer -- invited to go on the Master's Tour and he had sponsors and yet he choose not to do it, I'll never understand why -- so we always have golf balls hiding in our homes. Not just his home, my home too.)

And Darwin, good gravy. That child is in that stage where darting into the road is a big game. And it was fine to have both boys out with me, until I had that one swarm of customers where three people wanted to pay all at the same time and I didn't know where the two boys were, but I did know Aaron was in the basement running the vacuum cleaner.

In any case, I was really proud of Aaron -- he actually brought stuff up on his own to put in the garage sale. And he was really happy to see all that stuff out of our house (and he didn't get the cord at Best Buy... he just borrowed one from work for the week, hoping ours would "show up").


That's just the line of baby clothes, behind this angle is the tables loaded with crap and furniture.

We made $150, which I guess is pretty good considering we didn't sell any of the furniture. I agreed with Aaron to let the Lay-Z-Boy and futon to go back in the basement for the next garage sale (in April). Anything that doesn't sell at that garage sale goes to a non-profit.

We didn't sell that stinkin' (I mean that figuratively and literally) buffet, so I'm gonna attack the inside and outside with white spray paint to see if that works. If not, it will go in the next garage sale as well.

After the garage sale was over, I loaded up the van and took stuff to Goodwill. I made three trips to Goodwill Saturday. I still have seven boxes of baby clothes, a high chair and a swing sitting in my entry room ready to go off to a women's shelter today (hopefully, dependent on the rain and if there's anymore vomiting today).

I must say, the highlight of the garage sale was my apron I spiffied up...


It's a little two dollar apron from the hardware store. "Do it Right!" is painted on it in read, which I just covered up with some secret-project fabrics. The edges are all frayed and it's sewn on by hand, but it got the job done and was cute too. So, ha! Craftiness! Mwhahahaha!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

And I've Got Such a Long Way to Go (Such a Long Way to Go) to Make it to the Border of Mexico; So I'll Ride Like the Wind, Ride Like the Wind

We were suppose to meet some friends out at the pumpkin patch today (which, by the way, Pumpkin Patch Day is my absolute favorite day of the year; it is my favorite and my best). However, nature decided to be a mother and dumped a bunch of rain on us last night.

But it kinda turned out to be a good thing, as Griffin has decided to be Vomitous Maximus this morning and turned an awful shade of gray.


(Look! A cord for my camera!)

So now I'm spending the day washing vomited-on clothing, blankets, clothes and ewwwww. And getting ready for Aaron to go out of town.

He always manages to go out of town when someone's vomiting.

Friday, October 13, 2006

'Cause I'll be Rocking This Party Eight Days a Week

Don't think for two seconds I haven't tried donating our shit instead of selling it in a garage sale.

Unfortunately, Aaron's a wee bit emotionally attached to the shit ("no, Laura, we can't sell that onesie for less than five dollars") ("what's in this box? I need to inspect it before you put anything in the garage sale"). It doesn't help that he's a pack-rat and been known to scour through trash bags after I clean out a room to rescue shit.

And people wonder why half of my house is piled with boxes of crap.

I would be perfectly happy dumping everything off for Goodwill to go through. Unfortunately, the last time I donated something (over $400 worth), the donation guys didn't sign the form and we couldn't use it on our taxes. So that really didn't help the cause of convincing Aaron that garage sales are A BAD IDEA. VERY, VERY BAD.

I cannot comprehend life after the garage sale. From now until two o'clock tomorrow is all I can focus on. Does life exist on the other side of the garage sale? I don't know.

In other news... NO FUCKING CORD STILL. Aaron couldn't find it (ha!) and I'm convinced that Darwin got it out of the drawer and either hid is really, really well or threw it away. I went to MicroCenter last night to purchase another one and they were out. So the employee wanted me to tell a manager because they've been out for over a week and he hasn't ordered any.

So while we were waiting for the manager to come over, I started shouting, "Your customer service is horrible!" "I want a manager now!" "I'm a disgruntled customer!" all while trying (and failing) to keep a straight face.

So today after work Aaron has to stop at Best Buy to get me a new cord. And I'm totally screwed. Best Buy is like a candy store crack dealer for nerds.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

What's the Deal With My Brain? Why Am I So Obviously Insane?

"How much do one of those new cord thingies cost and what are they called?"

"I don't know."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?! That's your job in our relationship, to know the technical stuff."

"Laura, I'm sure the cord is somewhere in the house, I can find it."

"If you can find it, you should have FOUND IT ALREADY."

"Jesus, woman. What's the rush?"

"I have pictures to download!"

"So?"

"And I need to take more pictures..."

"Why?"

"So the internet can tell me how to price the stuff for the yard sale."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, let's get started anyway...

I'm sorting children's clothing by size, in boxes (not folded, bad Laura)... how should I price it? (Most of it is made by Carters)

I also have a light blue bumper pad for the crib (also made by Carter's), never used but washed. What should I price it?

I also have about 20 (at least) holiday tins to use for baking. They are clean, but used... 50 cents each? What? Please tell me, oh wise internet.

And that's just the beginning...

---------------------------------------------------------------

... and a King-sized down-filled light brown comforter (new, but out of packaging). Price?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Should I make a pricing sheet, like 25 cents for plain onsies, a buck for "outfit" onsies, three bucks for jeans, 1.50 for sweats... what? HELP ME, INTERNET, HELP ME!

---------------------------------------------------------------

The hardware store didn't have any yard sale signs, so AARON'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH GARAGE SALE SIGNS.

And I totally need to do something to the two dollar apron thing I got...

---------------------------------------------------------------

What am I suppose to price the blue lay-z-boy? How about the glass-top octagon table with four matching chairs? Anyone? Anyone?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Okay.... old computers (if I can convince Aaron to GET RID OF THEM ALREADY)... price? Price? One dalla? One dalla?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Um... yeah, hi... HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO PRICE THE DISHES?

This whole "garage sale thing" is STARTING TO OVERWHELM ME.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I think this may be the most awesomest thing ever.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Laura, why are you asking the internet for pricing advice without pictures? You need to be taking pictures of everything and then asking them."

"Oh really. Do you think that's a good idea? BECAUSE I CAN TAKE ALL THE PHOTOS IN THE WORLD, BUT IT WON'T DUE SHIT WITHOUT HAVING THE CORD TO DOWNLOAD THEM ONTO THE COMPUTER!"

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Shake, Shake, Shake Your Money Maker, Like You Were Shaking it for Some Paper

I still can't find my stinkin' cord. So, still no photos. ::sob:: I'd better find it soon, otherwise my memory card is going to be in overload very soon. I'm officially use to taking over a hundred photos a day now.

So, I've got a wild hair up my butt. I've decided we're having a yard sale Saturday (and I'm announcing it to the world to force myself to make sure it gets done) (and it's called a yard sale instead of a garage sale because the garage is not usable due to the fact that it's full of shit). Of course, Aaron has to keep his part of the deal -- clear his brush that's been sitting on the driveway for five days [insert photo on camera here] .

It's not like I don't have a million things to do already. Like prime and paint the entry room. And then do the floors in there. Or work on the cookbook. Or work on my secret sewing project that is taking forever. Or work on those two quilts I'm suppose to be working on. Or make my Halloween costume.

But, hey! Let's put all those things off and have a yard sale. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY INTELLIGENT IDEA. Yeah. That's exactly the thing I should be doing a day before Aaron goes on a business trip for a week. Because, you know, I'm so fucking SMART and all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, what was that commercial... rewind it."
"Why?"
"JUST DO IT AARON, I REWOUND IT SO YOU CAN WATCH THE SCARY RASH COMMERCIAL."
"Fine."
"Oh.... that's the cutest commercial."
"Woman, the only reason why you liked that commercial is because it looked like a sewing project."

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

So Needless to Say, I'm Odds and Ends

Not. Functioning. Brain. Not. Functioning.

I lost that cord-y thing that connects the computer to my camera. And so I can't download pictures off my camera. This is not computing in my brain, what the fuck do you mean I can't download the pictures off my camera? Must download! Must download! Must download now!

Of course, this is all exacerbated by the fact that Aaron's still out of town.

You see, we have an agreement in our relationship: I lose shit, he finds it. It works out really well. I get to be my natural scatter-brained self (I get it from my dad; trust me, he's way worse) and Aaron gets to have his ego boosted by finding my lost shit because I give him lots of praise. It's a win-win situation.

Of course, I had a post all planned out in my head to talk about this new... thing on my neck. I don't know what bit me or what happened but it is gross and it is huge. Of course I wanted to share. So I took some pictures and now I can't download them. Argh!

Today is much better... actually, yesterday got better after Darwin and I got our chiropractic adjustments. And it's amazing what a shot of ouzo can do to improve someone's mood (and don't think for a second that I didn't consider giving the kids some too).

Before doing that, though, I took the boys to buy new shoes.

"Griffin, do you like these or these?"
"Mommy, I don't care what they look like AS LONG AS THEY LIGHT UP."

"Darwin, do you like these or these?"
"No! No!"
"How about these?"
"No!"
"These?"
"No!"
"These?"
"No! Like these! Like these!" ::carrying pink Mary Janes::

See? I totally deserved that ouzo.

(There's a few weekend photos over on flickr.)

Monday, October 09, 2006

I Slink Down the Alley Looking For a Fight, Howlin' to the Moonlight On a Hot Summer Night

We had a wonderful weekend, and I even had the opportunity to meet the awesomely wonderful Laeroport at the Renaissance Festival.

However, today HAS BEEN SHIT. I went to the gym for the first time today since breaking my stupid fucking foot (hello, I need endorphins, eeeeennnnndddooooorrrrfffffiiinnnnsss, to try and alleviate my constant foot pain) and while I was there Darwin took it up on himself TO BEAT UP A BABY AND SPIT IN HIS FACE.

My baby. My sweet, precious baby that can do no harm KICKED THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ANOTHER KID AND SPIT ON HIM.

He's not that innocent.

Then we got home, Aaron called to say he's getting sent out of town.

Then this afternoon, Griffin took it upon himself TO WHACK DARWIN UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A SHARP, POINTY DINOSAUR BY DARWIN'S BLIND EYE.

FUCK YEAH, I'M YELLING FOR A REASON, I'M YELLING BECAUSE I'M PISSED OFF AND I WILL GET NO HELP TONIGHT AS MY HUSBAND IS OUT OF TOWN AND IT'S ONLY TWO O'CLOCK AND I CAN'T HAVE ANY OUZO YET BECAUSE I HAVE ABOUT FIVE MORE ERRANDS TO RUN WITH THESE LITTLE HEATHENS AND I'M QUITE CERTAIN I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE THROUGH THE DAY.

Help.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Then Like a Ray of Light, You Came My Way One Night

We're still functioning at Danger! Danger! Danger Will Robinson! mode over here.

Only slight progress is getting made at the secret project...


... really, I must get busy. Yes. I must get busy. Busy-busy. I simply must.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

And You Were Waiting There Swimming Through Apologies

I swear, I'm going to be creative soon. Very, very soon. I swear. Promise. Honestly. Creative. Soon. Yep. I'm gonna make something. Absolutely. Very soon. Honest. Swear.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away; I Just Ran, I Ran All Night and Day; I Couldn't Get Away

Last night we went to Griffin's preschool open house.

I get twitty when I'm in a large group of people. And I get really twitty when said large group of people are dressed in Armani suits and cashmere sweaters. Blech.

And when they talk about my pigtails and refer to me as "an artist" and "a hippy" and make those words sound like they have some regurgitation in the back of their mouths... sometimes, I really don't like where I live.

Yes, I live in a pretty nice town. Yes, there is a lot of money in my area. No, we don't have a lot of money. And no, I really don't enjoy living close to hoity-toity people that act like the have a rod shoved up their ass (not any rod mind you, but a designer rod).

I love my neighborhood, I love my neighbors. I loved the old vintage Don Stein Used Cars sign that use to be at the end of my street (now covered by a Hyundai sign and Don't Get Me Started On That).

I love supporting local businesses, the farmers market and local growers. I believe in eating fresh and eating local. I believe in paying a little more for something to support small business.

I believe in good architecture; vintage signs and recycling materials.

I've been pretty uninspired lately; part of it is due to all the projects I have in progress and yet not making much progress at all. So, to help me in that department (and to procrastinate a little bit more), I developed a new flickr group showcasing local architecture.


I love old signs, glowing neon in the twilight.

I love to see where other people live... what their landmarks are, their local architecture, how people paint their homes, how small businesses merchandise their stock.

So join, or not. I'm just feeling the need to shake things up a bit.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

"Show Me How You Do That Trick, the One That Makes Me Scream," She Said

Last week, I had the wonderful pleasure meeting the awesome Estea in person. Apparently, she was scared to meet me.

She thought I'd have a nose ring attached to a chain leading up to my ear. She expected a spikey purple mullet, multiple tattoos and a ciggie hanging out of my mouth. And I was suppose to arrive on a motorcycle, I think.

Sorry to disappoint, sweetheart. I barely smokes a few cigarettes my freshman year in college. And, although I've always wanted purple hair, I haven't had the cahones to actually do it. And I have no piercings. And no tattoos.

Do you hear that sound?

That's the sounds of thousands of heads exploding over the idea that I'm not really a badass.

And now my dastardly plans at world domination are foiled!

Monday, October 02, 2006

You Do it to Yourself, You do, and That's What Really Hurts is You Do it to Yourself, Just You, You and No-one Else, You Do it to Yourself

Head colds suck. Actually? They blow it out the ass. Especially ones that last two weeks. Gah.


We survived the weekend by eating gluten-free snickerdoodles and drinking lots and lots of hot tea.

What a way to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary on Saturday. Yeah. We live it up.

(My completed work of progress from Friday was a minibook for Aaron.)

Of course, children being children, the boys refused to indulge their miserable-ness with us and just had to play.


So Griffin got to play in the sprinkler, probably the last time for the year. Hello 94 degree weather in October in Kansas.


And you can never stop Darwin from being ornery. The child can give the energizer bunny a run for his money.

On Saturday I received a beautiful package from Monica.


Gluten-free chocolate cookies, gummy bears (which are now gone, of course), a fabulous book and paper airplanes. It was suppose to arrive while my stupid fucking foot was still broken, but getting a parcel in the mail when you've got a raging head cold is really delightful.

Luckily, the head cold finally seems to be on its way out. Which is really good. I'm almost as tired bitching about it as I'm sure you are hearing about it. (Notice how the head cold as officially sucked all the creativeness out of me. Damn.)