Friday, October 03, 2008

We Don't Need No Water

Two-thousand and eight will forever be known as The Year My House Revolted Against Me.

On Wednesday I was heating up some lunch and talking on the phone (ooooohhhh, multitasking) when all of the sudden plumes of smoke was coming out of the microwave.

"Uh, what the fuck?"

Angelina
: "What?"

"Um.... my microwave is on fire?"

"YOU MICROWAVE IS ON FIRE?"

"Uh, yeah. It's smoking, and hey - look at that. It's orange inside."

"OPEN YOUR WINDOWS."

"Shouldn't I get my camera?"

"OPEN YOUR WINDOWS. THEN UNPLUG YOUR MICROWAVE."

"I can't unplug it. And all my windows and painted shut."

"OPEN YOUR DOORS, LAURA. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE."

"But it's contained..."

"OPEN YOUR WINDOWS AND DOORS."

"Okay, okay, I'm opening them."

"THEN UNPLUG IT." (Seriously, she was freaking out way more than I was.)

"I can't. It's plugged behind it - wait. Maybe it's plugged on top of the cabinet. Let me move my cocoas."

"UNPLUG IT, LAURA."

"Okay, okay, I am. Just did. Wait. Now the exhaust fan isn't working."

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU UNPLUGGED YOUR MICROWAVE."

It's nice to have friends that dumb it down for you.

You know, I could have gotten a kitchen remodel out of the deal. But noooooooooooooo, I had to go and be responsible and not let my whole house catch on fire. The cabinets didn't even get any smoke damage and smell of burnt rubbery electronics has almost dissipated from the house.

And now I have to convince Aaron to install a new microwave. I told him we don't even need one - a range hood would be dandy, thanks. He's not going for it. Something about wanting instantly hot water or something. Because he's American and expects everything now, now, now.


Hello, Darwin's new favorite song...
where's my damn parenting award?

11 comments:

Patt M said...

Video-too funny! I can see why it's Darwin's favorite song; I'll be singing it all night! You are the best mom ever!

MichelleB said...

You, I think my kids would have liked that when they were younger - although I'm not sure I would have let them listen to it! You ARE a better mom.

I think you should get more out of your microwave blowing up than just a new microwave. Just for the trauma alone! Well, okay. Just for Angelinas trauma.

kristi said...

Yo, YO.

Coincidentally, I heard that song on the radio this morning and it's been running through my head all day.

Xan said...

I love that song too!

Sorry about your dead microwave. May it rest in peace.

amy said...

and that's why i don't own a microwave. Thankyouverymuch.

Andrea said...

OMG I am LMAO cause the same exact thing happened to me yesterday. Only I cannot live without a microwave, so an hour after the smoke cleared I sent my husband to get a new one. I needed to melt caramel that evening to drizzle on cake for some company, I needed it NOW NOW NOW. LOL

moosh in indy. said...

Bwahaha.
That would have been me.
We are never allowed to microwave and talk on the phone to each other.

tonkelu said...

I'm pretty sure I would've let the mother f**ker burn. But that's just me. ;)

Chickenbells said...

Oh no. I'm glad that you didn't catch on fire..I mean, yes a kitchen remodel is nice, but so are eyebrows!

amy h said...

OK, I have to tell you that song has been STUCK in my head since you posted it. Thanks. :)

sltbee69 said...

Sorry you couldn't get a kitchen remodel after it but you did the right thing not letting your house burn down. :-) What song? I can't see YouTube stuff at work. Do I even want to know?