My grandma has been in the hospital for over a week now. Mentioning this to people makes them say "Oh!" and tilt their head in concern, with worry, "What can I do to help you?"
Maybe it's because my mom died when she was 28 and I've dealt with one of the hardest loses you can deal with so early in my life. Maybe it's because my grandma has pretty much shut me out for the past ten years, refusing me to see her unless at family gatherings (which has added up to about four times in the past 10 years). Maybe it's because I've never had a "close" relationship with her to begin with. Maybe it's because my grandma is 84 years old, has had nine children, 21 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, she's had a lot of living.
I'm in no way traumatized by my grandma teetering on that brink - in that space with you don't know what the outcome will be.
My biggest concern, of course, is her getting proper medical treatment and not being in pain. Have the hospital hook her up to IVs if she's not eating. Making sure the oxygen line isn't poking her nose. Her neck having the proper support.
The past week has been filled of frantic phone calls with family members. Changing appointments and canceling commitments. Visiting the hospital.
The sensible person in me just wants a time-line. A list of expectations. To know what to do, when to do it and who needs to get it done.
I always cope best with a plan.