Thursday, February 08, 2007

See, I'm Wise Enough to Know When a Gift Needs Givin'

I've often said before, I'm amazed how people find me.

For instance, here's a list of searches from the past few months...

foot fucking

"my brain aneurysm"

ruby boobie

leg amputee pretenders in jeans

album art storm trooper doggy style

burnt orange minky blankets

learn to lean wit it rock with it

sensory behavior oral fixation


"closed captioning"


free pattern baby blanket using minky


free bathroom sample floor plans for college photos


ringworms in the head


what are the national symbols of egypt


"gluten free root beer"


horney's big boobs


www.things you never seen before


appropriate behavior is called what?


"frozen pureed winter squash"


Marthafuckingstewart


"plain batshit crazy"


what to say in a post cards to your girl friend


reasons why we suffer


clot behind eyeball


Holy hell ya'll. Those are some fucking insane searches. And they don't include any of the music searches that find me. Because seriously? Those would go on for pages.

I think my favorite is album art storm trooper doggy style. Because, hey, I'd like to see some Storm Troopers going at it doggy style. On an album. Wouldn't you?

What is, perhaps, more surprising than weird searches is that people are starting to contact me. And not people like reader-people or other-blog-writing-people or people-with-gluten-sensitivity or crafting-people but other people.

Like the PR person from a company that makes scrapbooking software. They contacted me to try their software and then "mention" it on my site. Or this morning, a person from a company that makes gluten-free prepackaged mixes (including ones for easy bake ovens), letting me know such a product was out there.

And really, I don't quite know what to say to these. I'm really surprised that anyone reads my verbal sewage that I oh-so-smartly post on the internet and feel compelled to respond to me.

And thank you for doing so.

Pretty soon I'll be able to check off world domination off my list of things to do.

Oh, and internet? If you are interested? I've got a gluten-free cookbook for people with multiple food sensitivities in the works. We may need to work on that title though.

18 comments:

Michelle said...

I think I'm kind of frightened. What kind of people are searching for these things?!?!

But rock on in your pursuit of World Domination! If you make us all some gluten free chocolate truffle cake, I'm on board!

Chickenbells said...

Yay for the cookbook! And yes it's strange how people find one another isn't it? I was looking at searches on mine, and saw viewmaster porn. Really...it was just an idea a friend and I were laughing about.

Angelina said...

I have got to fix my site meter. I did something wrong in the setting up part and it doesn't read anything. Plus I never figured out how to put the icon on my website. Isn't that a crime or something?

In some ways i think the searches people do on the internet are like secret looks into what is really occupying people's minds. I mean, not what they want you to think they're interested in, but the real deal. Which is kind of scary.

Good luck with world domination. I'm so far behind you on that. No one ever contacts me out of the blue. Sheesh.

kristi said...

Those are fascinating. I'd like to know the story behind "plain batshit crazy". Good luck with the world domination. :)

kirsten said...

will we all have to speak a different language or change our names (or all eat gluten-free) when you take over the world?

Kristy said...

Will you make us all bow and curtesy oh horney big boobs?

lera said...

wow! pretty amazing. don't you love sitemeter?

that's pretty cool that there is a resource for gluten-free easy-bake recipes. weren't we just talking about that?

Cathy said...

hahahahahahahaha!

babybug said...

the scrapbooking software and easy bake oven recipes are cool! the other stuff weird :(

LLA said...

WooHoo - World Domination, here you come...

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

those beat my searches hands down. I'm such a boring girl.

diana said...

me too... I am so lame.. I cant figure out how to load sitemeter..but then I would probably be freaked out about those searches... so maybe ignorance is bliss

I am loving the recipes so far ... keep on

Happy Zombie said...

One of my favorite things to do when I should be doing something else is check my sitemeter and what the searches are that led them to my blog.

Some of your results are naughtily delicious (like edgy Lucky Charms, mmmm)... mine are full of searches from people obsessed with the living dead.

PamKittyMorning said...

I'm so peeved. The only thing people google and get me is "Pamkittymorning". I mean seriously.

And hey, Frankie and I have Sidekicks so we're ready to join forces with you in our own Rule the World Plan.

Green Kitchen said...

I'm down with the Storm Troopers as long as I don't have to see their balls.

TinkerBlue said...

I dont think I want to know what people are searching for, when they fnd me.

Can we say we knew you before you became world dominator?

luckybeans said...

Hey, I want one of those search trackers. That is high entertainment value.

jennpal said...

Hi I just jumped over from domesticali and got a good laugh from all of the searches. Thanks