After four weeks of doing The Shred I was seriously ready to jump on a plane and fucking knock Jillian's lights out for her demonic torture, otherwise known as PLANK POSES.
Which, by the way, totally fucked up my right shoulder and had me wallowing like teenager who's crush totally doesn't know she exists.
So, in other words that shit fucked me up bad.
And besides, Jillian didn't fucking exercise anyway. She was all "oh yeah, this is a hard workout" but she didn't even do half the exercises. Bitch.
So one day I was IMing a couple of coworkers about how much we all fucking hate The Shred when Jenny mentioned that I should try one of these walking videos with Leslie.
The Jesus Freak.
So.... okay. Now I'm trying this walking thing (NO PLANK POSES) and it isn't bad. It doesn't make me want to punch kittens nor does it make me want to find a long-lost-cousin-Guido so I can put a hit out on somebody.
But, yeah. Jenny wasn't kidding about the Loving Christ part.
Here, Leslie is giving her daily Hallelujah.
No, I am not kidding.
She's counting her blessings. Apparently, that is what has been missing from my exercise my routines all my life. I haven't been count my blessings while doing "kick-backs."
And - the worst part - is that the token "fat" chick (hello, not really fat, but fatter than the rest) (I'm totally going to hell) got kinda miffed that Leslie (the chick in black) (as opposed to the token black chick) let the token old guy give the Hallelujah. She was hurt, poor token fat girl.
And yes, in case you are wondering they all have names.
From the back: token old prissy lady, token old guy, token overzealous sweating chick (seriously, five minutes in her boobs are sweating and ICK)
Middle row: token short-mom-haircut soccer-mom chick (two in one! score!) and token black chick
Front row: token lipstick lesbian, Leslie The Ultimate Jesus Freak and token fat chick, who has wayyyyyyy y too much of a sunny disposition. Honestly, I think Leslie wants to tell her fuck the back off, because the compete on a chippiness scale.
It's like the 700 club meets exercise meets Desperate Housewives