Thursday, February 05, 2009

If Only I Was Sure That My Head On the Door Was a Dream

My neighbor called today, could I pick her kid up from school? Yeah, sure no problem. Great. My house got broken into.

Ah, fuck.

I live in a nice, safe little neighborhood. Fifties-style houses dotted along trim yards. "Grandma houses" I call them, because they're old. And safe.

So I get the low-down from my neighbor about her break-in and then we start talking about other neighbors on the street and swapping stories.

Now, when I say "other neighbors" I really mean "renters" which equates to the guy that lets his four dogs in the front yard to potty and them screams "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING BIIIIIIIIITTTCCCCHHHHHHEESSSS" when they run into the street. And the other neighbor that has at least 20 cats and you can smell the smell from her driveway. And let us not forget the neighbor smoking a joint in his backyard screaming at the guy behind him that he was going to fucking kill him, you god damn asshole (isn't that suppose to mellow you?) and then a SWAT team came and carted him off less than an hour later.

Yes, I live in a lovely little family-oriented neighboorhood that gets some fucking crazy ass renters.

14 comments:

misschris said...

That would totally freak me out.
We had something happen like that happen around here not too long ago. They waited until they knew everyone had gone to work and then pulled into a driveway with a van, like they were supposed to be there. Freaked me out.

kristi said...

Yikes. There were some break-ins around here a few months ago. They did eventually catch the people, though. They hit a house across the street, and a house behind us. Maybe the big-ass dog in our house was a deterrent?

The Redheaded Lefty said...

Are you sure that it wasn't me yelling at the neighbors? Because we've got those around here, too. And I'm all, "WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE. MISTER IS GOING TO EAT YOUR LITTLE SHITSICLE LIKE SHE'S A POPCORN SNACK."

Chickenbells said...

Neighbors can be crazy shifty...the fence in the back yard has almost fallen over into my house...it's not mine, and hasn't been dealt with yet. I guess I'm gonna have to tromp on over there and make a fuss about it...

amy h said...

Yeah, we got a mass phone message from the police department in December, telling us that there have been a lot of break-ins and car-thefts in our neighborhood (Perfect Village). So that freaked me out. We have a lot of stay-at-home parents and work-at-home people on our street though, so I think that works in our favor...

tonkelu said...

There's several houses in my neighborhood for sale. One up the street is a "fixer upper" priced at ridiculous price. Buy it! Let's be neighbors!

Angelina said...

Oh man- that sucks! Nice neighbors.

Really nice.

Suzie said...

well it beats the telly....

Liz said...

Scary. Nothing like a break in to rattle your nerves. I'm glad it wasn't you!

pamM said...

Well I live a mere two blocks from that north OP shooting on Friday--- and the kids got out of school about that time.....

I knew it was a big news day when the helocopters were overhead!

Where is that really low priced house one of your commenters said is for sale???

capello said...

ooohhhhhh, that's what that helicopter was for.

i don't know if it was high or low priced, but it's over of shawnee mission behind einsein bagels, i think. that neighborhood.

Keyona said...

Good lord! You must live on Wisteria Lane!

RachelJane said...

Sounds like my neighbourhood - beautiful older houses, mature trees and then some idiot rents his property to drug dealers. We've woken up to domestic disputes, had the cops knocking on our door, had to shut all our windows in July so we don't get high from the pot they're smoking. I could go on, but you get the picture.

Sarah and Jack said...

Are you sure you don't live in our 'hood? (However, we are renters. But I swear, we don't act like that. We have had the swat team here though, right across the street. And police *always* blame it on the renters. HA!)