Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I Ain't Freakin', I Ain't Fakin' This

Standing outside preschool today I (somehow) got into a conversation about music.

Yeah, go figure.

So the Other Mom was all "oh, I get to listen to music I like now." And I was, of course, all "What the fuck you talkin' about?" But only without the fuck because we live in Kansas.

And she was all "oh, don't you get tired of listening to kiddie music?"

And I just stood there and blinked erratically and tilted my head to the side like she was speaking Plutoanean.

"Um... we don't listen to 'kiddie music.'"

"Oh, sure you do. Lori Berkner."

"No."

"Oh, you don't know who she is?"

"Oh, I know who she is. She's great when my kids are sick and they watch her video in between Little Bill and Dora. But no, we don't have any of her CDs."

"Oh, so you listen to the Disney channel?"

"Um, no. We listen to The Buzz [the local alternative station]."

And, of course, now she's the one blinking erratically.

So what if my kids like alternative rock? Griffin's really into Kings of Leon right now, Darwin loves The Ting Tings.



That's not bad parenting. Bad parenting is listening to music you don't like and that's not instilling a love of music to your kids. If you can't stand what you're listening to with your kids, what's the point? How is that teaching your children an appreciate of something - not just music, but art, design, fashion - or anything for that matter?

Don't people talk about such things? Surely I'm not the only freakish mother on this earth that talks about music and listens to music a lot - and I ask my kids their opinion.

And guess what! THEY HAVE OPINIONS. Opinions about all sorts of stuff, like Griffin DOES NOT like abstract art. Not at all. He thinks people got lazy and threw some paint on the canvas. And he's entitled to his opinion. And I love that my kids have opinions.

And I really appreciate the fact that my boys ask for the Jonas Brothers be to turned off and Deathcab for Cutie to be turned on.

So, of course, after I mentioned the alternative rock station she was all "Okay! Bye!" which really shouldn't be all that surprising. But I can't help but wonder, does she even know what she enjoys?

28 comments:

so NOT cool said...

My daughter, age 16, likes to brag that she's been into Portishead for 10 years, and it's true, she has.

She always tells the story of mentioning Portishead on the playground (before she was homeschooled from first grade on) and the two Ashley's (the snotty girls) saying, "Oh, we listen to Portishead too."

I guess that all this is to say that, yeah, I never bought kiddie CDs either.

MichelleB said...

No kiddie music in our house either! Sure, they enjoyed what was on TV - but I sure as hell wasn't going to listen that stuff in the car. In fact, they still listen to what I put on.

kristi said...

She's probably worried about her kids picking up bad words or bad attitudes from rock music. Many of the parents I know are overprotective that way. Of course, from their perspective, I'm raising little heathens. William was puzzled that his second grade music teacher had never heard of The Offspring, and barely knew anything about the B-52s. Should I homeschool?

Angelina said...

We have never listened to kid's music either, I mean, it actually never occurred to me. I have given pause periodically to the things we play in front of our kid, like the Pogues who swear A LOT in their music. But in the end we never censor. There's plenty of that out there already.

A guy that works in our movie store put out his own CD of heavy metal music and gave me one for free and I cringed because I happen to really not like heavy metal or any kind of thrasher music but Philip gave it a listen in our car and guess who's favorite music it is now? Yep. Max loves it. He just wants to ask Joseph why he hates so many people. (The guy is Christian but gets all his aggression out in his music, I guess?)

Why not let them hear the real stuff? It is a lot less likely to make you want to pull all your hair out one damn hair at a time like the Wiggles make me want to do.

Emy said...

One of my favorite bands, The Aquabats, have been on Yo Gabba Gabba twice. I love that. I also love They Might be Giants. Grown up bands but kid appropriate.
We listen to a lot of oldies. Cale likes them. Mabel likes classical. :P

twolimeleaves said...

I couldn't stomach kiddie music either. My son's favourite when he was four was Ben Folds. That's called a music education, L!

mommymae said...

we listen to a broad range of music including opera, rock, a bit of kid's music (dan zanes,) and are heavy on musicals. my little guy especially like kings of leon, queen, the beatles, and the black crowes and my 6 year olds were obsessed with stephen sondheim's "into the woods" for 3 years.

amy h said...

We listen to the Buzz, too. We did get a Dan Zanes CD for Charlotte's bday, but I actually like that.

We were in the car today, and they had a KC chorus on NPR singing a capella stuff, and Elise was suddenly IN LOVE with the music. The girl likes barbershop. OK.

sasha said...

Hooray for families with great taste in music! We all listen to a bit of everything, and it's good fun. The kiddos get their dose of kiddie music when they watch Nick shows and the like, but other than that, they seem to love what we listen to. The radio stations here in Germany all play EVERYTHING, so my 4 year old's favorite for a long time (she'll still break out in it ever so often) was the Umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh song. That was a tough one! ugg! But it's fun when they love it all just like you, and sometimes even the things your aren't crazy about. But hey, induviduality ROCKS! Great example, mama! :) And of course, I love and laugh my ass off at your blog.... thanks for sharing all your good fun!

Mirre said...

The TingTings were our favourite cd this summer... They call me Jane, they call me Stacey... all together now!

Ali said...

Mark's birthday present in a couple of weeks is a shuffle. I have a feeling we are about to be enlightened as to exactly what his taste in music has become...

But hey, it's his!

rollerwriter said...

My kids are well into they're 20's and all love music. Everything from Dylan to musicals to My Morning Jacket and The Delicious. We listen to everything and went to hear lots of live music-rock concerts, opera, even tuba santas. And yes we all even loved Fred Penner and Wierd Al. How can you know what you like to you give it all a fair listen? We gave everything at least a 3 time listen even some kid's music

rachel said...

I completely agree with you on this one. Nothing is more fun than riding around in the car with the entire family singing along to a song everyone likes...not just the kids. We listen to absolutely everything and I think that is really important.

Xan said...

Wait, we're not supposed to listen to grown up music around our kids? The Mommy Police never informed me.

Autumn is a Laurie Berkner fan but she also loves They Might Be Giants (who, by the way, did release a couple of fun kiddie albums that Dad and I actually like), Barenaked Ladies, Horrorpops, and Elvis. She does not, however, like classic punk. It's too screamy.

laeroport said...

Thanks, Dar, for the recommendation. And I don't know who Lori Berkner is.

We DO listen to Dan Zanes and Elizabeth Mitchel and TMBG - because I like it, and so do they. And we don't listen to radio aside from NPR because quite frankly the commercials piss me off. There's a lot of bluegrass and classical and jazz playing at our house - but that's because I'm an old fuddy duddy and that's what I like. Oh, and the Jonas Brothers are a favorite, but that's only with Aidin. That stuff is confined to her room. :)
Rock on, mama, rock on!

just me said...

my son (6yrs) requests Hole. ok, he doesn't know it as Hole, he calls it "barnt, barnt song" (the guitar riff).

The Queen said...

Damn straight! That's one of the main reasons I don't have kids--other kids' parents. My parents and grandparents DID NOT cater to the kids. The kids listened to, watched, and participated in, whatever the adults were, not the other way around. It seems many parents spend childhood preparing their kids for, well, childhood. We're only kids for a small fraction of our lives. Shouldn't we be preparing kids to be opinionated, educated, cool ADULTS? Love what you do here!

Bitterbetty said...

Ah yes. My son also raised on Actual Music.. Just recently we had a modern parenting moment when we realized Jake had our Dead Kennedy's cassette tape in his walkman, Yipes! ( yes.. he like his old school punk, old school style.).
He said to me later. "Either the Dead Kennedys are really dark, or they are really sarcastic."

So, I guess he's old enough to listen to it.

sltbee69 said...

I'm raising my girl to love all sorts of music - from classical, country, alternative, heavy metal, and yes, even that Disney shit. It amazes me though, the number of parents my age (gasp-almost 40) that are still stuck in the 80s. It makes me want to pull my hair out!

Arielah said...

When my now 23 year old daughter was about 5, she was in love with Andy Warhol, Elvis and Fred Astaire. She had no patience for kids colouring books, Raffi or anything Disney. All though Mister Roger did hold a place in her heart.

After she shared at Monday's show and tell that we had taken her to an art show honoring Andy Warhol and Keith Haring. Her teacher took me aside and "recommend" I stop exposing her to such adult interests. She made it sound like I was taking her to strip clubs and peep shows.

I asked her what she would suggest I expose her to. Her answer -My Little Pony 'n Friends (after all -all the girls were watching it), Full House (good family values - her words, not mine), and The Brave Little Toaster (just what I wanted household appliances as my daughters roll models). After starring at her open mouthed for a few moments I thanked her for her input but I was very happy with how my daughter was growing up and saw no need for change.

For her end of the year teacher gift we bought her a box of AIDS artist note cards. We never did get a thank you note.

Julie said...

I agree totally with you. I don't listen to that kiddie music in my car either. Yuck! My boys are used to everything that I love, u2, Madonna, Gwen Stefani, 80's music, etc. My 6 year old was in the talent show at his school last year (as a kindergartener) and ROCKED the place with his singing to vertigo. Our older son went to see David Gilmore with my husband, when he was in 2nd grade. I want my kids to appreciate "real" music. Life is not all rosy and happy all the time, and I have to survive the trip in the car too. Raffi would put me over the edge.

Crystal said...

Well we must be an equal opportunity tunes family. We listen to alot of "kiddy" music. I own 3 Laurie Berkner CD's and I like them. Yep, I am 30 years old and I like Laurie Berkners music. There I said it. I am not ashamed. ;)I get down to Alvin and the Chipmunks at least once a week as well, but then Alvin led us to the Beatles and some Michael Jackson tunes. I supply the kids with old country and hubby listens to rock. I love that XM radio.

amy said...

my kids are totally listening to good music. none of this other nonsense. and I totally think your kids have the best taste. they get it from mommy.

Renee said...

Okay, this has nothing to do with this specific post, but I've been thinking about you. Guess what John got for the very first time for his birthday?! A lego set, complete with those nifty little men! I LOVE IT!
(he does too . . .)

Chickenbells said...

Kids have great opinions about things for sure! One of my good friends buys those Kid Pop CD's for her boy, and he knows more words to them and most of the new music out there then I do...it's kind of embarrassing because he's a lot more hep than I am...and he's only 5.

Norma said...

I totally hated kid music when my kids were growing up. My youngest are now 9 & 11 and I still refuse to listen to Disney channel or Hannah Montana with them. BUT, I love that all my kids (4 kids 27-9) know Santana, The Eagles, WAR and any old rock artist I like & will even randomly break out in song of those old classics. I mostly listen to classic rock and our local alternative rock station too. Yay!!!

FinnyKnits said...

You may be raising the first cool kids ever.

All my friends have converted their cars and houses and lives into plushy sing-songy annoying Disneylands and given up anything they like to watch or listen to. It's a little sad.

Hey, I'd rather have the kids singing along to Verve than Barney. At least they're real.

Suzie Sews said...

Ahh now I can tell you the influence you have had over my kids...on one of your 'lists' I watched the circle circle dot dot with my kids...because its lego..RIGHT...man I am so innocent (HA!) I thought they would not really thin much to the words, only my cute little one walks around our sweet little village singing ALL the words, some old ladies think it is cute, sometimes its good not to have perfect hearing!!! I TOTALLY BLAME You, I take no responsibilty for it... that song is so hard to get out of your head....Circle Circle Dot Dot .........