So Get a Witch's Shawl on, A Broomstick You Can Crawl on

I have a date.


With Spiderman and Boba Fett.


Okay. Maybe not the real ones -- these versions are much better.

This Age of Industry, for Today I'll Let it Go

Yesterday was one hell of a day, beginning with a visit to the boys' dentist.

Now, I will say the boys have finally gotten to the point where they have their shit together while we're there, no more screaming and thrashing around. No more needing four techs to each hold down an appendage to get flossed. We're doing good.

Then (then! OH MY HELL, THEN!) the lady goes and effects Darwin's gag reflex and guess what happens...

Yep.

Vomit.

Everywhere.

In between his jacket and shirt, in between his shirt and body. Down his back. In his pants. Oh my hell.

Then, I find out that Griffin has nine cavities. For those of you in the back: NINE CAVITIES. Oh my fucking God, does he even have nine teeth to have cavities in?!

Apparently so.

His adult molars coming in over his baby molars are already cavities. The dentist said this is due to bad genetics. VERY BAD GENETICS.

Given I didn't have my first cavity way into my 20s, guess who I'm blaming this one on.

I'm a city girl, but I've heard there's a saying - something about always look at it's teeth before you buy a horse. Apparently, YOU NEED TO THAT FOR HUSBANDS TOO.

Your Point of View is Medieval

I'm on the fence with early voting. Normally that's what we do but meh, come on... it's quite the hassle. Usually I'm in a longer line there than when I do go to my normally scheduled voting locations.

Plus, I really like slapping that sticker on my collar that very moment.

Instant gratification rocks.

Here's a nice little social commentary on life...

In 2000...



And today...



Seven days to go. Anyone else ready?

I Took the Good Times, I'll Take the Bad Times

My grandma has been in the hospital for over a week now. Mentioning this to people makes them say "Oh!" and tilt their head in concern, with worry, "What can I do to help you?"

Maybe it's because my mom died when she was 28 and I've dealt with one of the hardest loses you can deal with so early in my life. Maybe it's because my grandma has pretty much shut me out for the past ten years, refusing me to see her unless at family gatherings (which has added up to about four times in the past 10 years). Maybe it's because I've never had a "close" relationship with her to begin with. Maybe it's because my grandma is 84 years old, has had nine children, 21 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, she's had a lot of living.

I'm in no way traumatized by my grandma teetering on that brink - in that space with you don't know what the outcome will be.

My biggest concern, of course, is her getting proper medical treatment and not being in pain. Have the hospital hook her up to IVs if she's not eating. Making sure the oxygen line isn't poking her nose. Her neck having the proper support.

The past week has been filled of frantic phone calls with family members. Changing appointments and canceling commitments. Visiting the hospital.

The sensible person in me just wants a time-line. A list of expectations. To know what to do, when to do it and who needs to get it done.

I always cope best with a plan.

With the Voltage Running Through Her Skin

I wish I could make deals with my body. Like, okay, you can have a migraine for a day but you have to wait till next Tuesday, 'kay? Because having it jump up and bite me in the ass does no one any good. (And neither does that bitter-cold wind we're having too.)

So, yeah, hello high stress levels. Four nights down, eight more to go. I'm a one-third through this trip. Argh.

Griffin's out of school today and tomorrow for parent-teacher conferences.


I went to his this morning, his teacher loves him. He has outstanding grades. The only slightly-negative thing on his report card was from his art teacher. Apparently, he's not "doing" his art right - this isn't the first of this I've heard. Griffin doesn't like art class because his art teacher tell him he's doing it wrong. To which I always tell Griffin, "Work on your art, do not talk to others. Hold you scissors properly. Use the materials you teacher wants you to use - but ultimately you can't do art wrong." What a fucking dumbass.

I'm blaming my headache on her.

Everybody Gets There and Everybody Gets Their Way

I love being an observer. I think that's why I became permanently attached to a camera when I was 11. Except that one time I was taking pictures and my teacher took my camera and threw it away.

I rescued it at recess.

I had to opportunity to hang out at Preschool one day last week, to see how their day goes.

I need to learn those teacher's mad time management skills, yo.


Outside, at recess. Determining who was being which princess and who was which prince car from Cars.

It was decided I was Princess Jasmine. "Because of your dark hair and dark tan!" Thanks for the stereotype, sista.

It's a Mess, it's a Start

I'm unhinged.

Aaron's been out of town more days this month than he's been home. He left yesterday and will be gone the rest of the month.

I know my friends get squeamish when I mention he's gone and I totally respect that but holyfuckingshit, come on, this is ridiculous.

So. Darwin's spent the whole day in jammies because I'm just not up for the fight. I had little to feed myself for lunch so I had tea and almonds. Our bedroom is an ungodly mess, hell the whole house is an ungodly mess. Griffin's upstairs throwing a fit because I sent him to his room. For lying. Over a stupid carrot on the floor. WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT A CARROT ON THE FLOOR? Jesus Christ, get it through your thick skull already - NO LYING. Is it really all that damn difficult?

So... I'm trying to breathe. Trying to find a groove that works for all of us.

Single parenting sucks ass.

Oh We're Still the Greatest, the Greatest

After all the lovely comments about my Lego jack o-lantern, I spent my morning searching for something appropriate to use in my banner for November. And found this:

(All images come from lego.com)
(Please do not sue me. I love you. And I'm sure somehow over the past few years I've driven up your sales. )

::heart thumping::

And then Lego said they wouldn't sell it to me. Damn it!

So then I decided to download the instructions so I could build it with what we have around the house.

Well, they wouldn't give that to me either.

So I called them.

And acted really nice.

And they said they'd email me the instructions -- SCORE!

Of course, while he was looking into doing that, I did a search for their advent calendars this year. So far, I've only seen the City calendar and we've been doing that one for about five years now. Between the jewel thief and the crazy fire chief who like to saw everything, I'm kinda burnt out on the City advent calendar.

And my search resulted in this:


Oh HELLS YEAH, a Castle advent calendar. Which contains...


and...


I think she's my new hero. Can I be her for Halloween? And...


She looks like me when a mouse sneaked into my house!

::swoon::

So I asked the Lego guy how come this advent calendar isn't for sale. You know what he said? "Oh, ma'am, that's only available to the grown-up club."

THERE'S A GROWN-UP LEGO CLUB?!

You know what that nice man did? HE LET ME BUY ONE.

So... now I'm all sure you all are more than excited for December first to come, as THIS YEAR I'll be documenting the Lego Castle Advent Calendar! Whee!

We Need Somebody Great to Get us Back On the Track

We're a pretty political family - well, I mean, the boys aren't but Aaron and I are. So maybe we're a pretty political couple.

Howeverthehell you want to say it, we're political.

And I'm well known for getting into heated debates with people and calling them "fucking idiots" to their face (hi Dad!).

So, you know, to keep the peace around here I try to not go on tirades of what I think because I do believe that the majority of people here are well-educated, self-thinkers and have the right to their own opinions.

But let me just say, I'm so damn proud of how my street is lookin' lately.


Isn't this particular 2008 Autumn glorious?

I'm Tense and Nervous and I Can't Relax

On any given day, this is how our kitchen table looks.


That's like, normal, right?