I'm leaving tomorrow, headed to Chicago for the BlogHer conference and all the important things in life are baring down on me.
Like, should I wear a wireless bra to go through security at the airport?
I ask because last year sister had her hands down my pants during my pat down. Because, you know, to keep my ladies up and perky, Mommy requires quite a bit of metal reinforcement. And apparently the security guard took this as an open invitation to discuss panty styles and fabrics. She liked lace thongs. I like cotton hipsters.
She complemented me on my hipsters.
Of course, I should have thought this was odd. But me? Noooooo. I laughed. Out loud. A lot.
It's what I do in the most inappropriate of times. Laugh.
It wasn't until I was in California last year when I realized security guards should not be putting their hands down your pants.
So now I'm all aflutter - should I go into the airport with saggy boobs in a wireless bra in hopes of not being patted down again? Can I take my properly boobie-holder-upper bra in my carry-on luggage and put it on after security? Will the bra flag them as something odd and would they then rifle through my bag and pull out crazy contraption of a girl holder and display it in front of everyone there?
Help me, I don't know what to do about my boobies.