Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Baby, You'll Come Knocking On My Front Door

My birthday cupcakes are gone. This makes me very sad.


My knitting project is coming along slowly. I find I'm only doing it when I watch tv, and I haven't been watching very much tv lately. Last week I only watched Lost and let's be honest, you can't look at your knitting and watch that at the same time.

I'm still doing the 30 Day Shred and I almost fucking hate Jillian. I "Anita" the whole thing. Fucking plank poses kill me and now have a shoulder injury. So back to level one for me. Fucking plank poses. Christ.

However, my pants are falling off and as of yesterday have lost four pounds after doing it for 20 days (not including the 3 pounds I gained-and-lost, Aaron called it "muscle weight"). Except for my birthday cupcakes, I've been eating a lower-fat, higher-fiber diet.

Between yesterday and today I've lost five pounds of water weight. I went to the doctor last week about retesting my vitamin D levels (which we had determined I had super-low levels in November and put me on a once-a-week-pill) and mentioned to her about my legs.

A few weeks ago I had a massage and the massage therapist said I had a lot of water retention in my legs. Like, pounds and pounds of it.

I just thought my legs were fat.

So, anyway, my doctor looks at my legs and freaks. And prescribes a diuretic (holy shit, I spelled that right on the first try) for a month. A month. And yesterday, as my first day, I had to take two.

Y'all. I was peeing every 15 minutes.

When asked why my legs had so much water retention my doctor replied that my veins were lazy. I HAVE LAZY VEINS, official doctor diagnosis.

LAZY

VEINS

Lazy veins that don't want to DO THEIR JOB and push the fluid up to my torso to be filtered out so hey, let's just have a pool party in Laura's legs. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

And just to reiterate how much I could make some post titles be guitar rhythms:

14 comments:

kirsten said...

lazy veins. sheesh!

so about that shred - what's it like? i need something like that but with my crappy knees i can't do stuff like tons of lunges, etc. i want to, but can't (sucks!).

kristi said...

Is that the same thing as venous insufficiency? One of my sisters has that and has to wear prescription support hose. It sucks.

The cupcakes look fabulous, though.

Ravengrl said...

Did the doc say what your vitamin D3 levels were? I went to the Dr and mine were in the basement! LOL

I tried doing the 30 day shred on demand. I despise Jillian. I hurt my knees. No thanks! Congrats on your weight loss! WOO HOO!

Chickenbells said...

I would love to shred, but I can't seem to stay well enough to do my regular gym routine.

Apparently I have a lazy immune system...

TinkerBlue said...

Lazy veins, I didn't realise that was the official name for it!

I'm on day 5 of Shred level 1, and it's finally stopped hurting. Saturday I'm starting level 2, so I guess it will hurt again.

Congrats on the weight loss and happy belated birthday.

The Coffee Lady said...

Just reading that was tiring. I'm going for a lie down.

Gina Perry said...

Congrats on the weight loss - you rock! keep it up! plank poses sound scary, just like Jillian. I might have to give her program a try post-baby. My sister has major fluid-in-legs issues, hopefully you'll pee yourself back to moderately-active veins soon!!!

MichelleB said...

Thanks for the updates! I ordered the Jillian DVD, so I'll (hopefully) be starting it soon. Keep up the good work! But don't hurt yourself. Yummy looking cupcakes.

Angelina said...

You are so funny!! Yay for the weight loss!

So what is this vicious 30 day shred that everyone is talking about?

Norma said...

pool party comment has me dying on the ground.

take care.

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

I don't know what level one is, but you can do planks on the elbows and knee's.
Your lazy viens would love to work out in a pool......really.

Skye said...

Cody says laziness is a virtue in programming, perhaps your veins are hackers?

Also, I forgot your birthday, because I am a sucky friend.

fidget said...

i have lazy veins and a clotting disorder. My legs, which used to be one of my best physical features, are a bloated purplish hot mess. I have not tried this shred which you speak of but once I'm healed up, i may have to give it a go. i have 8lbs left till my goal and without horrible exercise intervention, I dont see getting there.

robyn said...

Just wanted to say that I popped in because of your title, stayed for the cupcakes, and finished it up with an appropriately sympathetic chuckle at your lazy veins. All in all, very fulfilling. Thanks!