Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Take the Pepsi Challenge

My day was shit... at least my knee isn't majorly screwed up from the kitchen counter catastrophe. And so I get to go to the gym tonight.

In anycase, I took Darwin to have his hair test done... it took 50 minutes to get to that doctor's office; then I took the boys to have their hair cut... and it took over an hour to get there. I bet all that gas cost us at least thirty bucks. And I need to seriously stop treating the entire Kansas City area like its my little backyard because I travel everywhere here!

I finally figured out where the mysterious water in the kitchen is coming from. Its not just coming from the dishwasher door, noooooooooo. It coming from under the dishwasher. Yeah. A much bigger problem. So I guess we are gonna be spending some more imaginary money this weekend buying a new one.

Oh - and Aaron's leaving on an emergency business trip tonight. Fun, fun, fun for me.

So, I bet you can't guess what I'm putting in my Pepsi tonight.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

...Like a Dawg, Like a Dawg, Like a Dawg, Like a Dawg...

I've watched two hours of Kipper today, and I can't get the damn theme song out of my head.

Yesterday we checked one out from the library. Obviously we should have gotten two. I like the fact that there's no violence, hoping the positive influence will make a difference on the boys' behavior.

On a side note, I smashed my right knee into the kitchen counter Sunday when I was crossing the baby gate. Not only did I smash it, I raised the countertops with it. Its badly bruised but its now giving me other problems, especially with bending. If it derails "Project: Defatting My Fat Ass" I'm gonna get quite pissed.

Monday, August 29, 2005

All The Shit Darwin Is Allergic To

Just got Darwin's allergy tests back today, which were taken the 8th. Let's take a looksee, shall we?

Egg Whites
Beta Lactoglobulin
Green Bean

... and for the items I don't necessarily recognize...

German Cockroach
Derma. Pteronyssinus
Dermatophagoides Farinae
Penicillium Notatum
Cladosporium Herbarum
Aspergillus Fumigatus
Mucor Racemosus
Alternaria Tenuis
Helminth. Species
Fusarium Moniliforme
Rhizopus Nigricans

... additionally, it looks like he has celiac disease and some "Whey IgE" allergy.

And how am I coping? Not too well, but lacing my Pepsi with whiskey has done wonders.

Friday, August 26, 2005

I Am Normally Not This Busy

6:40 - 9:30 Do basic morning routine (which would take forever to type out)
9:30 - 10:40 Grocery Store
10:40 - 11:15 Put groceries away, get ready and leave for speech therapy
11:15 - 12:40 Drive to/from and Griffin attend speech therapy
12:40 - 1:50 Eat lunch, laundry, dishes, get ready to go to library
1:50 - 2:20 Talk to mother-in-law, who purposely called because she knew we were going to the library and wanted to talk to us first; discussed how SHE thinks Griffin needs to learn how its not his turn when SHE is on the phone.
2:20 - 3:10 Central Resource Library. Check out four books dealing with the letter "P" (puh-puh-puh-please), three books dealing with beginning preschool, one book about Star Wars and one DVD about Big Bird going to Japan which is so obviously geared toward 13-year olds, not 3-year olds.
3:10 - 4:45 Drive to, get adjusted and drive home from Chiropractor (because, yes, I'm insane and visit a Chiropractor that requires a 30-minute drive each way, on a good day).
4:45 - 5:40 Talk to my "boss" of the stay-at-home mom's organization I'm in
5:40 - 5:45 Find out Aaron is stuck at work, must pick up crop share
5:45 - 6:55 Pick up crop share, buy Griffin a happy meal because he's hungry AND because I cannot handle the whining anymore. Griffin eating his happy meal, being actually somewhat happy.
6:55 Panic, because - oh shit! - husband is still at work!
6:56 Decide to buy children off by watching Nickelodeon movie "Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius"
6:57 - now Bask in the silence of two boys watching TV. Yes, I realize I'm a bad mother. But did you see the day I've had?

Thursday, August 25, 2005

My Heart? Its Broken.

We have been having some "issues" with Griffin lately. "Behavior Issues" to be exact.

He has always been very rambunctious, hard-headed and haphazard. Personally, for the most part, I enjoy it and find him to be amazing, intelligent and fun.

But lately its out of control. He's hitting kids, wrestling and beating up his friends and let's not even discuss how awful he's been to his brother lately.

Last Saturday I had to physically remove him from the library due to horrible behavior. On Tuesday I was called back to the Kids Club in the gym to "give him a talking-to" about not hitting, and after that he still was hitting. Today, I was called back to the Kids Club and I hadn't even been at the gym for 15 minutes yet. So I packed up our stuff and we left.

And the clincher? If it keeps happening he'll be banned from the club. Additionally he's starting speech therapy tomorrow and preschool next week. This behavior is not going to fly.

And I feel like the most horrible mother in the world.

What is it that I/we are doing so wrong to make him act this way? When he gets upset he starts screaming "You hit me! Stop hurting me! You hit me!" when in fact, no one even touched him. He's three and a half, where is he getting this erratic behavior from?

So I decided to take him to the doctor in the slightest case that he has an ear infection (he doesn't) and to get some sort of recommendation for new discipline tactics.

And do you know what the doctor recommended? A book (a Christian book) about how raising children is really like training them, like you would a dog. A DOG.

But okay. Its Christian. I think I can handle that. Its about training. Okay, I can handle that. Its like training my kid as if he were a dog. Um... kay. Guess that makes sense, considering I use to make him wear a harness and I told him to pretend he was a puppy (the harness? It was a necessity after running into the street AND jumping into a lake on the same day).

So maybe it will work. Because something has to. My heart is broken because my child is becoming a person that no one wants around. And I know I do not want that, and I know he doesn't either. The worst part is he get so excited about being around other kids he doesn't know how to harness his energy.

I just hope I'm able to help him soon.

Monday, August 22, 2005


Last night I managed to immediately blister the roof of my mouth by eating a piece of roasted potato straight from the oven.

I had thought I let it cool enough, but I was wrong. After immediately blistering it pealed and now its a raw, swollen piece of flesh my tongue can't help but flick over and over again.


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Well-behaved Children

Seriously, that's all I want. For my kids to be well-behaved.

I had to pick Griffin up and carry him out of the library yesterday kicking and screaming. Why? Because he was wrestling the other kids.

Darwin keeps scratchingscratchingscratching at his feet. Why? I'm not certain, but I know it has something to do with his atopic dermatitus. But Jesus Christ! Could the kid make himself bleed anymore? We have resorted to binding his feet with expensive, expensive non-latex stuff and that little bugger is still figuring out how to get it off so he can scratchscratchscratch some more. I know he's only 14 months old (today! in fact), but when will he be old enough to stop this self-destructive behavior? Eighteen? If I'm lucky?

Am I asking too much?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

No Appropriate Behavior

Why "No Appropriate Behavior"?

Because that's how my three-year-old, Griffin, says "Inappropriate Behavior".

That and the fact that "Inappropriate Behavior" was actually taken.