Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Think Less But See it Grow

Sometimes I feel as though I need to bopped upside the head.

Yes, much like Little Bunny Foo Foo. But only without the good fairy.

Unless she cleans houses, of course.

The point is, at some point I need to come to the realization that we're having a baby. Not that I'm in total complete denial or anything, I mean - both my stomach and my ass are growing amazingly fast. And he moves. A lot.

Yes, he. Have I not mentioned that? My apologies.

Apparently I have a magical uterus that clones, right down to insuring that said clone also have a penis. Which I take to be the Universe's way to say "fuck you and your Capello genetics" followed by the ever-present evil laugh of mwahahaha which I hear in my sleep.

Thanks, for that Universe.

So, back to the point: not that I'm in denial, I can't be. He punches me a lot. Like an animal trying to escape his jail.

What? You think my uterus isn't a jail? You're funny.

But my point being, I haven't done jack anything other than increase my calorie intake to prepare for this baby. Well, and go to the doctor appointments and get my shots (which I now have a nice big itchy knot on my hip, thanks) and elevate my feet and sleep a lot and become OBSESSED with food.

Like I'm not already obsessed with food. And the food allergies make it worse, not being able to eat everywhere around town. It has caused me to live vicariously through others even more, like when my friend called one night and was all OH MY GOD, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TONIGHT WHILE I WAS AT BIG BOY! and my reply was YOU ORDERED THE CHICKEN TENDERLOIN SANDWICH?

She didn't. Nor did she have a chocolate milkshake or a cherry limeaid. Sigh. My friend doesn't know how to eat properly. And I can still taste the disappointment in my mouth for her not ordering the right food.

But you know what? We're having a baby. And it's kinda like a joke. Like HAHAHAHAHA, YES WE KNOW WE'RE CRAZY, THANKS and watching my stomach grow, but not getting the least bit prepared.

The boys threw a fit to go to a baby store one day while running errands. They wanted to buy him clothes, so I stopped and let them shop for the baby.

Y'all, my kids are more prepared for the baby than I am.

That whole nesting thing is going to kick in eventually, right?

6 comments:

Marshamlow said...

I have a friend who is a first time mother to be and she has spent the last six months preparing for the arrival. But, you my friend are an experienced mom. You can knock it all out in one afternoon. You know exactly what you need and where to get it. You'll be fine. I am so jealous, holding a new baby, new baby smell, new baby smiles, yeah.

amy h said...

Yeah, I didn't get around to a lot of that stuff until the very end with #3. It was a week or so before, and I was telling Chris, you know, we really need to dig that bassinet out of the basement sometime...

patrice said...

I feel so happy about your new little boy!

Monica said...

oh yes, I have a similar kind of uterus... and yes with No 3 we kind of did it in the last month too...

don't worry, in the old days babies slept in drawers. Do you have a drawer?

Keyona said...

Yeah. My nesting didn't kick in until recently. If all else fails at least the boys will have things under control.

Affordable homes said...

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. God bless your family.