Yes, I saw the doctor yesterday. And yes, it was as fabulous a visit as I expected.
"So, Laura. Why are you here?"
"Doctor D pulled some blood work on me and I wanted to go over the results."
"O-kay. Why are you seeing me then?"
Dumbfuck. "Because Doctor D left a month ago to go to his other practice."
"Why didn't you see him before he left?"
Oh my hell. "Because my results were just came in Tuesday."
"Why'd they take so long to get in?"
Because your office is ran by a bunch of fucking imbasols. "I have no idea."
"Why aren't you just seeing him at his new practice?"
It's nice to know I'm a valued patient, asswipe. "Because insurance doesn't cover me there."
"Alright, well let's take a look" ::clickety, clacketing away on his computer:: "I don't see any test results for you."
"Yes, they're there."
"Nope. I don't see anything for you since November."
Cocksucking fucktard. "No, he ordered them and pulled them in December."
"Oh, it was just a lab?"
No, it we met up in Greece for rough sex and an appointment first. "Yes. Just a lab."
"O-kay, here they are. Huh."
"Well, these don't mean anything. Have a nice da-"
::Aaron walks in the door::
"Hey, did I miss anything?"
"Um, YEAH. The doctor claims my test results don't mean anything."
"I didn't say that"
Sexist Pig, yes you did. "Yes, you did."
"No, nonononononono, I said I didn't know what they mean."
What the fuck you don't know what they mean? How in the hell did you get your MD license? "What? What do you mean you don't know what they mean?"
"I don't know what them mean, so obviously they aren't important."
Oh my hell, do you know how to wipe your own ass? "Dude. They are way off. They are important."
"No, they aren't."
OH MY GOD! "Yes, they are!"
"So what do you think they mean?"
"That one shows I had rheumatic fever as a child."
"No, it doesn't."
Don't fuck with me, asslicker. "Dude, you just said you don't know what they mean. Now you're trying to tell me you magically know what they mean?"
"Yeah, they don't mean anything."
He's lucky I don't like guns. "I have an idea. Why don't you refer me to a doctor that actually knows something. And you're gonna pull some blood work on me."
And that, my dear friends, is how the doctor's visit with a new-to-me doctor at our family center went. I convinced him to pull three tests on me (he even threw a hissy fit because he wanted to do his lyme instead of the one I was told to have done, so he pulled both) and refer me to someone else.
The office he referred me to is for HIV and Bird Flu patients. Because, he's an asshole and obviously doesn't know shit about medicine.
So... we need a new focus around here.
What do you think about that weather?