Saturday, December 31, 2005
Tomorrow we shall be dining on black eyed peas (for good luck) and ham (for they push their snouts forward in the dirt); additionally, we will not be having any chicken (because they scratch the dirt backwards).
Hey! We need all the help we can get to make 2006 a fantabulous year.
May you and your family have a Happy New Year as well!
Friday, December 30, 2005
Beginning Jan. 1, food makers are required by law to label in "plain language" the eight allergen groups: tree nuts (including almonds, walnuts, and pecans), milk, eggs, fish, crustacean shellfish, peanuts, soybeans and wheat. Labels must either use parentheses to clarify that, for instance, "whey" or "casein" is a milk product, or must note at the end of the list that the product "contains" a specific allergen.
And, even working on changing labels to help those with celiac disease:
For millions of people, gluten, a protein found in wheat, barley and rye, triggers an autoimmune reaction, attacking the small intestine. Sometime before August 2006, the FDA will issue a proposal to allow voluntarily use of the words "gluten free" on food labels, though the rule isn't likely to be finalized until 2008. But companies already are using their own definitions to label products as "gluten-free."
You can read the whole article here.
I just hope that the FDA regulates mono- and diglycerides and other derivatives of wheat as gluten products, otherwise it will be a waste of their time.
Now, when are the restaurants going to join the bandwagon?
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
"My stocking is full! Darwin's stocking is full! Daddy's stocking is full! Mommy's stocking is... empty?"
He whipped around and turned to me.
"Mommy! Santa says you're on the Naughty List!"
"I am not on the Naughty List! I was a good Mommy this year!"
"Santa says you weren't."
I whipped around and look at Aaron, who had an "oh shit" look on his face. He cleared his throat and said to Griffin, "Um... I'm sure Mommy was on the nice list. Let's see what Santa's note says..."
(Because, you know, Santa is all polite and leaves thank you notes for the cookies.)
Aaron read the note out loud, editing into it that an elf "forgot" Mommy's stocking stuffers and Santa will return later after his trip back to the North Pole.
Griffin turned around and exclaimed, "Mommy! You're not on the Naughty List! And! And! That elf is going to get DISCIPLINED!"
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Karba iv gibbing be a vig tick in dee assh.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Friday, December 16, 2005
Seven things to do before I die:
1. Raise my kids so they are healthy and not too emotionally scarred
2. Buy a few acres and build a house
3. Publish a cookbook
4. Travel to Greece
5. Get down to and maintain a healthy weight
6. Start a profitable home-based business
7. Get out of debt
Seven things I can (or will) not do:
1. Eat wheat/gluten
2. Knowingly let my kids eat wheat/gluten
3. Ignore my children's medical needs despite not having money
4. Do something that would not put my life, or the life of my kids or husband, in jeopardy
5. Not fight an illness
6. Vote Republican
7. Stop learning
Seven things that attract me to my spouse:
2. Taste in music
3. Ability to stand up for what he believes in (including me)
6. Desire to have strong family ties
7. The way he rubs my thumb when we hold hands
Seven things I say most often:
1. Griffin! Get. In. Your. Thinking. Chair. Now!
2. Is that appropriate behavior?
3. Hey - I wipe ass for a living!
4. Darwin, just because I'm giving your brother attention doesn't mean you need to bogart Mommy right now.
5. Where's my lovin'?
6. When are you coming home?
7. Love you
Seven books (or series) I love:
1. Anything written by Toni Morrison (especially Song of Solomon)
2. Sophie's World, by Jostein Gaarder
3. The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant
4. Pearl, by Mary Gordon
5. One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
6. I Know This Much is True, by Wally Lamb
7. White Oleander, by Janet Fitch
Seven movies I watch over and over again:
1. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
2. A Christmas Story
4. Where the Heart Is
5. The Incredibles
6. Star Wars - the whole damn series
7. Monster's Inc.
Seven people I'm curious about that I'd like to join in:
Meh. I only "know" three others who have a blog and I know at least one of them has done this already (yes, my loser-dom has just been voiced).
Thursday, December 15, 2005
He did, however, participate in the next song, singing "Happy Birthday to You" to Baby Jesus.
MAKE THE BURNING SENSATION STOP! I AM MELTING, GODDESSDAMNIT!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
He made everything in one hour and fifteen minutes. His teachers, I swear, must be relatives of Super Woman. Geesh.
In other family news... Bye, bye Turkey Pillows...
Hello Festivus Pillows!
I finally got them all done yesterday, but didn't take the picture until today. And did you notice the snow? Gah. We're not use to this in Kansas. People are driving like idiots. Geesh.
Although the weather outside is frightful...
Okay, I'm gonna go cozy up to my children now. Its cold in here. And I'm all twitty and being happy.
Although I greatly appreciate your efforts in creating a non-Christian Advent calendar for all of us who celebrate the Roman heathens' wintertime celebration, is it necessary to give us an escaped convict?
Or, worse yet, a jewel-thief escaped convict?
Because, seriously, just because I'm not Christian, doesn't mean these are the values I want to teach my children.
Me: On the radio?
Griffin: Yeah, who dat band?
Me: Oh, what is their name... I have one of their CDs from the 90s...
Griffin: I know who it is!
Me: You do?
Griffin: Yeah, Its "Stupid Taco and Daddy."
Me: First of all, we do not say "stupid"; second of all, that is not the name of the band. It is... Fountains of Wayne.
Griffin: Found Trains of Wayne?
Me: Fountains of Wayne.
Griffin: Found Trains of Wayne?
Griffin: "Stupid Taco and Daddy" is a much better name.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
"Holy Shit! I must have had something with wheat it in, but what?" I thought to myself. I thought about it over and over, and realized that I had a piece of gum about two hours earlier.
Now, I've read that chewing gum may have a dusting on it to keep it from sticking to the wrapper and that dusting may contain wheat; I've also read that the FDA doesn't require it to be listed on the ingredient list. However, this afternoon, I forgot.
Hello, FDA? DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. I know you're all concerned about passing new and exciting antibiotics to make animals age quickly, approving patents on plants to be better resistant to insects that are part of the cycle of life, and padding your pockets from corporate farms and helping to drone out small family farms; but could you enforce the guidelines you have set out? What if I was so allergic that I immediately passed out dead? It should be mandatory that anything touching the food that we eat should be listed on the wrapper, even if said item was on the food, not in the food. Also? Every food should be required to use the label of "Manufactured in a plant that also produces..."
Now, excuse me while I run upstairs to use the bathroom again...
Friday, December 02, 2005
Who knew that my red armoire would help the blazin' aspect so much? Mr. Firefighter, do your duty...
In other family news, here's an excellent shot of the difference in Darwin's eye (see early October posts for all the drama with that situation). It was taken right before bed, so the eyelid is a little more droopy that usual. But it is pretty damn open, pretty damn centered and not dilating for shit. But hey! At least strangers don't comment on it or look at him differently anymore!
Ahh... my new fabric I order Sunday was delivered today. Now I can make new pillowcases for the holiday season for the living room.
I have one yard of the green stripe, and two-thirds of a yard of each of the red flower and paisley.
Now, my new dilemma is this -- how should I make the pillowcases? (I make 20" squares, with velcroed pockets in the back; each pillow uses about 19" of the full length for each pillow)
Do I make one pillow of each material and leave it at that? Or do I hodgepodge them together to make something new and exciting?
Oh, the dilemmas...
Thursday, December 01, 2005
An Advent Calendar for Non-Christians (because we all need to celebrate The Creationism that is Constructionism)... Actually, I am open-minded enough to have an Advent Calendar with Santas, trees and other holiday paraphernalia; I just thought it would be a good idea to let a three-year old pick out which calendar he wanted to do. So this year, to get us in the holiday spirit, we will be constructing constructions workers, buildings and forklifts. HapHapHappy Holidays! (Actually, I am rather disappointed I will not be getting to make pretty sparkly snowflakes and polar bears. Construction workers? WTF?)
For December First...
As for the other child...
Aaron? You can come home from that business trip. NOW.