Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I’ll Think I’ll Write My Congressman and Tell Him to Pass a Bill

I'm going to caucus tonight. I don't know what to expect other than snow, lines and donuts (which I can't have; wheat - you evil, evil bastard).

This is my first opportunity to caucus. We didn't caucus in 2004 (Kerry already got the nod, which was fucked up because Howard Dean was way fucking better than John Kerry) and in 2000 I wasn't yet an "official" Kansan.

Shhhh... listen... you hear that? Yeah, that's the sound of my children locked in their room. They both had to be put in time out multiple times in Whole Foods. If I was cursin' type of person, I might call them little bastards. Luckily for them, the curses only (well, mostly) come out of my fingertips with a clickity-clank on the keyboard.


This is a cricket Tuckie refuses to eat.


See? The pussy turtle is afraid of the cricket.

(This is a new low... turtle blogging... someone send me some sunshine.)

(And warm weather.)

(And alcohol.)

18 comments:

Chickenbells said...

Oh have fun caucusing tonight! I suppose you could always bring the cricket to snack on...you know in leau of donuts? It's a piss poor substitution, but at least someone would be eating the cricket...

Anonymous said...

The girls always get in trouble at whole foods because that damn supermarket has baskets of stuffed animals laying around the store, as if they are taunting kids to be brats. Oh well, last time we paid them back by Olivia knocking over an entire rack of wooden beaded bracelets!

Nice banner lady!

forcryeye said...

Thank goodness you are not the cursing truck driver/pirate type. You think 2 time outs are bad...yesterday I had multiple time outs, the loss of two marbles from the marble jar, lego's taken away and more time outs. Pass that bottle back to me when you are finished. Bastards.

Alicia A. said...

how bout a few inches of snow instead?!

Anonymous said...

Love the lego people. And that wussy turtle. And your new pet cricket.

Anonymous said...

Yikes. I'd be scared of the cricket too. It looks huge!

Rebecca

Anonymous said...

You know, I reckon turtles would be like dogs and kids.... none ever starve themselves to death. Just leave the scary cricket in there with the turtle, offer no other food and I bet the scariness of the cricket will decrease the hungrier the turtle gets.

You can call me Betty, or Bethany, or Beth ...Just don't call me late for dinner. said...

how was the caucus? We just slammed ourselves into the standard cubicles... but I imagined I was hammering a nail into a GWB mongrammed coffin.
And It Felt Like The Right Thing To Do.

LLA said...

Happy Caucusing!

Evolutionary Revolutionary said...

I feel compelled to remind you that it has been 70 degrees here for over a week. No sign of losing the sunshine. Me thinks you need a vacation. I've got the bottle!

Anonymous said...

It's not a new low until you start blogging as the turtle. Come to think of it, maybe he should have his own blog. I'm sure he would tell us he was studying the cricket so he could attack it later, not displaying fear of it.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha...You said Cock Kiss He he he. Hope it was fun.
Are you going to name the cricket "Crickie"? We used to keep crickets for our frogs. Crickets eat potatoes if you need to feed it! LOL!
Have a great day!

sltbee69 said...

Illinois does Primary voting. Booring! I'm still feeling violated that I had to announce my party in order to get a ballot.

I'm sorry your turtle is being such a puss. He could use a few lessons from my Beardie to show him how you take care of crickets.

Heidijayhawk said...

seriously. our caucus over here was insane. way more people than they planned. supposed to be 100 and there were 1500 that showed up. damn republicans changing parties took forever!

amy h said...

I need to know how to do time out in Whole Foods. I have barely figured it out at home, let alone in a public place. Our time outs still involve a lot of ear-piercing screaming.

Anonymous said...

I have sunshine, warmth and liquor, c'mon over. See this > http://www.flickr.com/photos/catslye/2246657947/
this is what the sky was doing this morning. :)

LA said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one who blogs while the kids are locked down. :)

Weren't we supposed to have a playdate sometime?!?

Mia said...

I got no sunshine or any warmth.. but I DO have plenty of LIQUID sunshine... come on over. Bring the turtle :)